1 year ago today I started this blog Thank you for Reading & Commenting from Dave The Guy Who Runs this blog


A year ago today I started this blog and I thought since you have been nice enough to read the stuff on this blog, I would tell you the reason why I started it and continue to write here.

A friend of mine who has traveled the world used to tell me this one particular quote. I don’t remember where he picked it up from. He told me “Dave man,good times are gift from God, bad times are God himself. When I first heard that I thought it was a joke. I never discuss my personal beliefs with anyone and am not in any way religious. The quote stayed with me and has come to mean a lot to me.

And so 7 years ago I got provoked into what almost escalated into a fist fight with my pops.  I took everything I had at the time and left with my lady who was living with my family and I at time. My job sucked had little to no money, no savings but managed to find a place. I was the only person working. I worked at anyone time time 3-4 jobs to provide. I had my own business , main job, tutoring idiotic students on the side and whatever else i could find. Rent increase happens first eviction notice, I sell anything I have of value. Avoid eviction. Things go on for a bit. I get caught in a ongoing fight with my superviser and his supervisers work crazy insane hours for no pay eventually quit because I figure I’m not an animal and should but up with this treatment. Eviction notice #2.  I work myself to the bone sell whatever Christmas presents I got from the year before, you get the picture. Find a new job a few months in my sickle cell after a decade of nothing flairs up  every month I have 2 episodes of excruciating pain. I take off what little time I can and work eventually end up in the ER. Cant do more jobs, sick really sick. Hairs start to turn grey from stress. I’m the only one working. Eviction notice #3 Miracle happens don’t get evicted somehow.  Few months later my lady is pregnant we are looking at the sonogram. Happy time few months before she found work, burden on me eased recovering. I have always suffered from depression but being that sick for that long  turns something off in my head. Cant read, cant write, stop telling jokes, hair and beard grow long I have high highs and low lows, cycle through every emotion in 5 intense minutes. Start therapy  get other sonogram baby doing well. It’s  gonna be a boy. We decide to name him Xavier. January earthquake wipes out Port Au Price the Capital of Haiti, Family there I hear about but i don’t know them never knew them, I feel really sad don’t know why, a Month later  to the day in hospital with lady they have to induce labor our son dies.  I couldn’t bring myself to hold him.He is big for his age. They give me a box of sonogram picture and other stuff I haven’t opened it yet. Lady is sick in hospital, luckily  the state is able to pay for the bill. Mother comes to visit, father wont let my sister use his car so she cant pic me up and take me to the hospital. I walk in the cold  cause the bus stops working to the D train. Its never felt this cold in my life but we have an uncharacteristically warm winter. Im hungry, Its an old friend, the feeling of hunger I mean. It doesn’t bother me tho, days later lady gets out she is too weak to move. I help her shower and she cannot brush her hair, so I learn all about shampoo conditioner and make up,  we watch project runway together and I show off my hair braiding skills I learned from my sister when I was 11 because I was ordered to play with her, and she was playing with her dolls, and I had to help her braid their fucking hair, because  as an older brother, its my duty  to indulge her.  I got some more stuff, and things are better for a time eviction notice, not teaching any more lady gets post-partum depression and shuts down… there is silence in our apartment, I hear the dogs breathing heavy as they sleep and my favorite cat Cleo sits on my head…  I spend my free time sitting on the couch looking out the window, or take walks at 1-2 am … she finds a therapist gets help things are better eviction notice this is the final one, I’m in an out of court and going to work I am too tired to work more than this job,  Look in the mirror I’ve aged  where was the guy I used to be, where did he go ? Can I find him.

August 2011 – All goes to hell make a deal rent a storage space, find home for all my pets except the dogs, loose whatever dignity My lady and I move back in my with parents.  I don’t remember when go back to the gym , Lady books a flight to see her family – we met online 11 years ago and our relationship is literally like some stupid Tom Hanks movie romance air plane flights – I am fucking  miserable. I’m done. The grows long again i get very sad…i have moments where I am extremely sad sometime hurts but I don’t know what – My lady still no 100% better, says she needs to figure things  out,

She doesn’t come back, I get my money refunded back to me though for the return flight

Nov 18 2011 – I had a blog before still do, I received death wishes for something I wrote  calling for differences to be put aside and some other positive bullshit. It’s heart breaking really that people can be so mean. Life has never been sweet to me, I still want to write though,  what do I call the fucking thing, something with sugar in it, Well What do I wanna write about – who the fuck knows, whatever ? Yeah I’ll write about whatever but I’ll sweeten shit up like Diogene the Cynic – See everyone  found it silly that he was walking through the streets of in the day time with a candle looking for a real man. No one got that he was asking a deeper question, : if in fact there are real men to be found, real in the sense that they experientially are not trying to be anything or become anything, they are completed united with the present moment, the only thing in existence how could they be found, how would recognize them  Are our ways of understand and perceiving reality as blinkered and  quixotic as the dude in the daylight with a candle? It’s almost as if he is calling reality into question, but making people laugh so the harshness of what he says of is  masked… Thanks a cool idea… Normally people want the medicine that makes them feel better to taste good too…yeah thats funny  like how they put sugar in everything nowadays …yeah reminds me of that Fucking song , you know that bitch comes into London on an umbrella…yeah Mary Poppins … She was a freak..I think a sexual deviant, those cheeks were rosy alright but not for the reason u think, yeah sup with that sexual subtext of  sweeping chimneys…Yeah Dick van Dyke snatched up into chimneys….every think thats what they call it that “snatch” cuz you kind of get sucked in like it had a mind of its own and …. like needling catfish lol this is funny shit, Wonder if Mary Poppins every settled down, yeah prolly with some black dude saw how crazy she got when they all had on black faces from the fucking chimney and shit….yeah it makes sense she was anti establishment and capitalism ..she came in flying on her own umbrella Singing about accessible healthcare spoonful of suga helps the medicine go down…. yeah that it that the fucking name .. A spoonful of sugar …. But I will spell it suga because african-americans are not supposed to pronounce terminal constants …… Do you think anyone will get it, thats its just a spoonful of suga, its not being added to help the medicine go down, its just exists
….  a spoonful of suga is like an analogy for the human existence…. you out it in tea and it fades away completely with any noise or visual effects… no one can find it anymore after its dissolve away… and while one can lament  its passage one just has to take a sip of tea and the spoonful of suga is there

1 year later

97,800 views

617 posts,

70 categories,

2200+  tags,

300+ followers later

Here we are,

I may never meet you face to face in life to tell you thanks, but  Thanks 🙂  I guess I will see you in the comments if you choose to comment

my trains here

 

 

9 thoughts on “1 year ago today I started this blog Thank you for Reading & Commenting from Dave The Guy Who Runs this blog

  1. Blah,blah,blah,,,,everyone wants to know…Do you still live with your parents?
    Oh,,,and glad you got thru all the crap,,, I hear you on the depression,,I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar earlier this year.
    And Your Welcome,,,I’m glad I found your blog,,,you make me smile 🙂

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  2. This is a pretty heavy, real, amazing story Mr. Suga. I love it. I’m glad you started this blog and I LOVE the inspiration behind it. Real man indeed. A realized man…already done. In the present…ready to rock and roll. I like that. Keep up the good work, and the workouts!! You are awesome. Keep writing…

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    1. Thank you 🙂 You can call me Dave 🙂 Mr Mary MuthaFucking Poppins is a little long and has lots of consonants. lol Thanks a lot for this comment I really appreciate it, it means a lot especially since I don’t post personal stuff on at all.

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    1. 🙂 Life has always been difficult on the on hand and on the other infinitely beautiful and joyous. I don’t get or understand how that happens or why it has to be like that. It was a tough post for me to write as I don’t share anything unless I know people personally, so it means a lot that you left a comment here. I really appreciate that

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