Shit I say (or write) to my therapist

UnEdited Version

I don’t think we  have ever talked about it but I spend a lot of time in meditation any where from 4 to 14 hours a week. I don’t mean to say that I walk around with a shaved head, eat only vegetable and turn my nose up at  people whose colons aren’t as  clean as mine due to my insistence on high fiber in everything I eat. I leave that to Woody Harrelson to do when he isn’t busy working hard for another small part in a film. I also for the sake of clarity want to say I don’t wear tight pants that accentuate my shapely buttock and try to fold myself into a pretzel in a hot room or in the dark recess of my room utter prayer in comprehensible languages when I am not masturbating.

I jsut wanted to say that it is a very  difficult practice to maintain. In meditation there are moment tat last an eternity andthen it also seems sometimes that eternity itself it passes by all too quickly like Blake hinted at when he wrote:

To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour

It’s hard to go from experiences of nothing, or bliss (non-erection related bliss) to the hustle and bustle of Times Sq running trying to catch the shuttle train to the Number 4 train to change for the 6 train at 86 street to get to work quickly on the Upper East Side and do some bullshit I’m not passionate or the least bit interested in for a salary  that really isn’t worth it. It seems nowadays existence is bogged down by trivialities.

I saw this quote and picture on Facebook by Kurt Vonnegut that made me laugh and think

The last couple of weeks have bee pretty eye opening. A mass majority of the people (guys) I knew in high school and in college are all the same. They are all fat I’m talking odd number of chins fucking fat, they all have  2 kids, and all their wives all look the same passably ugly they are all angry  even though they have enjoyed so much success. They all seem to be part of that group of people who think minorities want stuff and that immigrants are lazy and leeching off our system but also working hard enough to steal jobs from hard working Americans. if your impressed at how they can hold two opposing views at the same time you should see these fucking beasts at a fucking buffet.

I don’t fault these guys for their politics people are gonna disagree and hold different opinion. I am sad for them because thats it for them. They have peaked. They don’t read anything aside from their work material, all the funny dreams and ideas they had when we were younger are swallowed up in their excessive corpulence. Whatever free time is spent drinking beer and watching bullshit sports games. I do know where my friends and class mates went ?

Or maybe I am fucked up and maybe I have drank a lil to much Guinness tonight. Either way there are more words to write and otehr words to remember

“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.

people so tired
either by love or no love.

people just are not good to each other
one on one.

the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.

we are afraid.

our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.

it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.

or the terror of one person
aching in one place

unspoken to

watering a plant.”

Edited  version

Yeah all is well, was a great weak I voted  ate Mexican without getting sick, what more could be asked for?


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