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When in Rome: Don’t mention Dikes


I work in a very diverse laboratory and Department. To give you an example many of my colleagues come from such diverse places like  Spain, Argentina, Holland, Chile, Scotland, Austria, Germany and the list goes on.   There are many reasons why I stick to small talk at work and do not  try to hang with any of these people after work. One of them is the fact that I have  sometimes a juvenile sense of humor as you are about to see. So since this happens a lot to me I thought I would make a series out of my international affairs blunders.

Silly Conversation # 1

MM: You’re from Rotterdam How nice
I love Rotterdam even more than Amsterdam

MM: I have always wanted to go to Holland and see the windmills and the famous dikes
The windmills are very beautiful and some of the dikes are too …..

MM: They’re dikes in Rotterdam right? I remember reading that somewhere
Yeah we have a lot of dikes there

MM: (chuckles) What are your dikes like  in Rotterdam
Uhm what you mean? Like how big they are ?

MM: Uhm yea exactly.  I would imagine you need a really big dike to hold back the Sea
Yes.. Some are very wide and some are  very long  …. How do you know about dikes ?

MM: Well I am a hub of cultural understanding
What does this mean “hub of cultural understanding”

MM: Oh It means I read a lot of books when no one is watching at Barnes and Noble
Why would you read them when no one is watching

MM: Because I am a shallow man… I probably  need to put some dikes around me to protect my self image
Uhm…Oh ok

MM: You know when we were kids there  was a story they used to read to us about Holland
Really ? What was the story about?

MM: it started of like “ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS a little Dutch boy who found a leak in the dike” Basically after seeing this dike get wet, he stick his finger in the dike’s hole to save the town from flooding .
He stuck his finger in a dike ?

MM: Yeah I was as surprised as you are … It stops the dike from leaking water, and he saves the whole city
That sounds silly, I have to show you some pictures of dikes near my home city. You cannot just stick your finger in a dike  and expect water to not come out

MM: sure It be nice to see some dikes, I’ve heard so much about them
After Hurricane Sandy they are saying they want to put dikes all over NYC

MM: Yea I heard that but there already tons of dikes here
Really I haven’t seen them

MM: You need to site see more check out the lower Manhattan like near the village
Which part ?

MM: I will email you the information I got to get back to my office
Thanks  MrMary’s real Name Cya