Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Pub owner hides deceased regular and keeps selling beer

Not only did Mark Howells suffer the indignity of dying in the toilet of a bar, he had the misfortune to pass away in a U.K. pub with an unsympathetic owner. When Jason Chidgey, 29, found the deceased Howells, 48, in his premises, he had the cleaner help him hide the body in a bedroom above the Boot Hotel in South Wales. Chidgey was concerned police would close down the pub to investigate the death and he’d lose the weekend booze bucks, so he organized for the body to be found the following Tuesday. The cleaner, however, was later overcome with guilt and confessed all. For hiding the body of Howells, who had died of natural causes related to alcohol poisoning, Chidgey was sentenced to 15 months imprisonment. [Source]

Mrmary Weighs IN

To die on the toilet is tough. I dont really wanna go on a toilet seat. When i die I want to die nude and laughing on top of a stripper dressed in a nuns outfit with a sign that says “forgive me Father” Sorry, Ive gotten freakier in my old age I suppose.

It’s a scumbag thing to do to hide this guy so you can keep selling beer. For more pubs and beer places the weekend is when you pull in a significant volume of your income so logically what he did in a strange way makes sense: hey he is dead anyway. But that’s the problem with logic it can be used to justify atrocities. But what I want to know is:

Will the 15 months in prison having your anus forcibly worn like a glove on a dry wintery day make it worth it.

I figure his bar is gonna loose a lot more money thna if he jsut called the cops in the first place.

What would Mrmary Do?

MrMary would do the following:

  1. If the patron was not black or hispanic I’d call my lawyer make a statement put down on paper my alibi
  2. Call the cops and stand outside against the wall spread out with my lawyer there with a camcorder recording the whole thing.
  3. Call up the family and offer my condolences
  4. Have a weekend of remembrance for the dude that died in the shitter. I would give discounted drinks and invite the officer/officers who came to the scene for free drink . Half off to anyone who was there that day 3-4 drink minimum 2 day
  5. I would turn that weekend of remembrance into a year drunken orgiastic feast for the senses – laced with scatological jokes and innuendo where we dress up and get drunk to honor plumbing market it to local colleges.
  6. I would have another day to celebrate  not getting prison raped.

See how that works out everyone happy 🙂


Jocular Look @ Todays News || Ocotomom checks herself into rehab

Baby-popping celebrity Octomom, aka Nadya Suleman, has crashed into a drug rehab center in California. A rep says she has been abusing Xanax pills she takes for stress—a condition we’re going to guess came along somewhere between birthing 14 in vitro babies and makingmasturbation porn to pay for their care. She plans to be away from the kids for a month and, even though a source says her bourgeoning porn career could pay for treatment, she has taken the center up on its offer to foot the bill. [Source]

MrMary Weighs In

If I could ever boast of having 80 fingers inside me at the same time I wouldn’t be checking into rehab I would be checking into pep boys to have my fucking chassis repairs.  It is amazing you can be a celebrity for popping out babies, I want to be a celebrity but I am handicapped in that department because I can read and write and didn’t lease out a variety of my orifices to pay my way to college.

[Not that doing that is wrong, I feel if it makes you happy to have your anus or vagina a mini meat storage then by all mean use the free market to get you the best prices and whole sale napkin prices, you know the trickle down effect thing a lot of Republican keep talking about.]

Ok and masturbation porn, I would imagine it would take an odd number of  vaginoplasties greater than five to  turn that close range shot gun  wound back into a vagina. I think the real cause of her addiction and rehab is that all the Burger kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t sew her vagina back together again. It’s kind of what got her famous. She should have taken an insurance on it like J-LO did her ass. Maybe they can take some cartilage from her face and fat from her head to reconstruct it


I was just being silly and fooling around. I hope the Octomom gets better and I hope her kids are faring well. Illness and addiction is a terrible thing and I think no one should have to deal with that alone. So here is to the OctoMom getting better quickly. I hope she also stops doing any kind of porn as well.