Jocular Look @Today’s News || Romney locks up Lindsay Lohan’s coveted endorsement

Mitt Romney has locked up the troubled Hollywood-starlet vote. Or, at the very least, he’s captured Lindsay Lohan‘s highly coveted endorsement. LiLo has taken time away from her busy schedule of denouncing her dad and insisting she didn’t mean it when she said her mother was high on cocaine to announce that the GOP ticket had her vote because “I think unemployment is very important for now.” Wait, didn’t Lohan call President Barack Obama’s election in 2008 “amazing”? Why, yes, she did. So what’s prompted the change? “It’s a long story, but you’re going to have to wait for that,” she says. We love long stories, Lindsay. Spill it. [Source]

MrMary Weighs In

The Cunt  the Cock

Just as I predicted when Lindsay Lohan came out of prison, the price of sexual favors decreased all over America.  She was doing to fellate (and also infect) any and everything that she could to get back in the star-light. There is a reason why i said fellate and not the penultimate act of getting meat stabbed with real or artificial strapped on meat (I advocate for all sexes) Why is that ?Well look at these lines from Homer’s Odyssey:

and there
at her cavern’s mouth she bolted them down raw—
screaming out, flinging their arms toward me,
lost in that mortal struggle.”

Yes that’s right I believe that Lindsay Lohan has a meat grinder for a vagina, I think that was the secret clause when she signed the deal with the devil to get her that part on Mean Girls. She can snort cocaine,  crash a car and blame the black guy sitting in the back, skip out on probation, she can do semi nude pics that couldn’t give a 8th grade boy in a co’ed catholic school a hard on. What I am saying is that she has for lack of a better word The Gremlins pussy.

Side note:

The film is about a young man who receives a strange creature called a Mogwai as a pet its cute and furry but when you get it wet it make multiple copies of itself and if you feed it after midnight, they transform into evil reptilian creatures who transform into small, destructive, evil monsters with sharp teeth and scales.


One thing I respect about Mitt Romney is that he has been himself in the election which is the very reason why he sucks. He flip flops more than a flaccid penis. Can’t hold on position for too long, he doesn’t walk on the straight and narrow with his policies. We all know or can tell with common sense that floppy cock and man eating cunts do not go well together.  I can imagine people so repulse by Ms HerpesCreme that they wont vote Romney he is a Mormon with one wife I wouldn’t plus that damn for all the good credit in the world or the Colonels secret recipe.

Just my Two cents




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