Jocular Look @Todays’ News: Olivia Wilde is bummed everyone’s talking about her vagina

Olivia Wilde told a packed room at Glamour‘s “These Girls” event on Tuesday that, toward the end of her marriage, she felt like her “vagina died … [and] you cannot lie to your vagina.” Of course, just because she said it didn’t mean she expected to be QUOTED about it. Or about the part where she said her lesbian fantasies were scuttled by new boyfriend Jason Sudeikis, with whom she has sex “like Kenyan marathon runners.” Wilde’s words were taken out of context and “not meant for publication,” Wilde tweeted. “Sneaky recorders are everywhere these days.” Including major media-sponsored events — who’d have predicted THAT? [Source]

MrMary Weighs In

I’m not famous and I’m not in any way celebrated. The closest I have come to celebrity has been the waiter recognizing me at my favorite place to eat. But you know what my favorite waiter knows nothing about my vagina, well of course because I dont have one but if I did my lips would be sealed. (See what I did there BOOM). I will tell you a rule I was taught by another man infinitely wiser than me in the affairs of the loins. He said

When you hear about her before her vagina
It’s cuz its been used all ova from here ta China – Bada BING!

(BOOM – one more for late night beer induced creativity) –

Is it such a  foreign concept that loose lips sink ships? ( and savings accounts too if there a divorce lawyer nearby). It’s the age of the internet everyone wants to fill their heads with empty facts about the most useless things. Everyday we hear more and more details about the life of people that are not contributing anything to society.  Baudrillard was right “We live in a world where there is more and more information, and less and less meaning.”

Yes cars actually looked like that and all cars where made of metal I had to get a running start to close the fucking door

And nothing has less meaning than Ms Wilde’s Vagina which for all intents and purpose reminds me of the AMC (American Motor Company) station wagons that were popular in my youth – yeah it can fit a bunch of people in it comfortably but after enough wear and tear it will die on you any time for extended periods of time, then when that happens they get refurbished, sold to a taxi company and grinded out till they were put away in  yard to rust and be a faded beckon of a time no one remembered.

Moral of the story if you don’t want people talking about your vagina STFU. I will end my tirade hear before I say something mean. BTW I’m sure Ms Wilde is a lovely chic though – I’m just being belligerent and honest

One thought on “Jocular Look @Todays’ News: Olivia Wilde is bummed everyone’s talking about her vagina

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