Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Katie Holmes’ Leggings Come Out In The Rain


We don’t have much in common with Katie Holmes (but what we would do for those cheekbones…). But we and Katie all had the same idea on Wednesday when we awoke to a very cold, very rainy New York City morning: comfort is key.

We at HuffPost Style chose to combat the chill with oversized sweaters, but Katie went bold with the ever controversial leggings-as-pants. The working mom was seen dropping lil’ Suri off at her fancy new school, Avenues (read all about it here) this morning, with Suri looking cute as a button in her preppy uniform.

MrMary Weighs IN

Yeah ladies of the world you don’t have much in common with Katie Holmes. Let’s see:

  1. She is divorced married a man who some say is a closeted homosexual ,
  2. She won custody of the kid, dude like other kids with some other lady
  3. You live in the city prolly because your ex is still giving you some money and no matter how much it is it is never enough,
  4. You’re wondering when did life fucking pass you by and why you’re at the same level of success professionally as James Van der Beek even though you were in a the first part of a Trilogy with Christian Bale, Christopher Nolan, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine
  5. You’re probably looking to get bagged but not have anyone know about it.
  6. When you get excited you get moist in the middle like a hostess cup cake that’s fallen into a chum bucket at a bait and tackle store out in the sun
  7. You like playing Beyonce’s  All the Singles Ladies song because you want to try and recapture what it felt like to be relevant

Ladies and Gentleman – this describes  with the exception of the batman movie 85-90% of the women I know. Like for everyone else comfort is key but she can go to greater lengths to get it. Let me give u an example: it cold in my house I put on some pants BOOM done. I want more from live and feel horribly trapped by the system  and kind of feel disenfranchised in the society I find myself if –  I get a six-pack of  beer and hope for a quiet death that ends with a “whimper and not a bang”. She gets cold she can fly right now with no luggage or reservation of any sort to a warmer country

Concluding

Leggings as pants isn’t bold and isn’t controversial any more than me drawing a happy face with a fro-hawk neck tatoo on me penis with my lady‘s plum red lipstick before I went to work. Btw how many shades of red are there when it comes to lipstick for fucks sake one time I was in a pharmacy for 10 minute helping my lady chose between reds,  they have every red imaginable except dog dick red 🙂

Ok snark aside I get it. It’s an election year and there are all these other serious articles surfacing and its nice to just relax into  a mild catatonic state of diminished mental activity. I’m just a bit of a curmudgeon and seem to think that news like this is given to us on purpose to atrophy our sense of self and socio-cultural awareness

 

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