Ladies, I need your help and advice ! Help a Brotha Out

Hello Ladies,

I need your help. I need advice on how to deal with a following situation:

Scenario 1:

I approach a lady to tell her book-bag is open and her books are about to fall out. I say, “excuse me Miss, and before I can say anything more she tells me right away: “I’m not interested.” I say “your bag is about to open and your stuff will fall out.” I am a gentleman I left it at that, I wanted to tell her:

I would rather be prison raped completely unlubed on a windy winter day where everyone suffers egregiously from dry skin until my soul submitted to whatever higher power is responsible for the created fucking universe, rather than engage on any level with romantic aspirations with her.

The Reality

I am a nice and polite guy, I’m very old school in my upbringing. I don’t want to preface anything I say to a lady with some variation: I’m not trying to get into your disease and from the looks of the wrinkles around your mouth, well-worn vagina. I’m just talking to you or extending you a common courtesy because you’re a fucking human being.

Granted, to say that I am a paragon of masculinity and all that would be an understatement, but just because I say hello or smile when I look up from what I am reading doesn’t imply anything. I don’t want to say what is in my head to say when this happens.

So then ladies any advice?

Help a Brotha out

DISCLAIMER: NO WOMEN, REAL OR IMAGINED WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF THIS POST, HOWEVER IF YOU DO SHIT LIKE WHAT I POSTED HERE YOUR AN ASSHOLE