Bitterly Pressed Fall Edition: Here’s a Hot Cup of Hate for WordPress’s Freshly Pressed

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From My Blog

Editors Pick for Fall 2012

Fall has been here only a few days and already our WordPress users have hit us with the best of their drivel and unintelligible mental refuse. The following 12 blog chosen represent truly what  Wordpresses Freshly Pressed is all about. Please say hi to your fellow bloggers. Part of the Draconian oversight of the Freshly Pressed selection Process involves having you believe that because you right different cool stuff you may get Freshly Pressed (evil laugh)

The American Dream or Self Reliance

This blogger tell us how he has freed himself from the tyranny of pornography and every having a significant other by growing breasts. His carpel tunnel has all but vanish and he goes on his computer twice a day once in the morning to check email and once at night to look for Mayonaise coupons, he likes the slapping sounds it makes

I Feel Creatively Blocked

Who knew something as simple as riding a bike could unblock creativity, bring on the cobblestone streets !!!!!

I went to Paris, and contributed nothing to humanity. I’m a waste of life

Your average American tourist cannot find their nations capital on a map. We journey along with Fucktard #35.87 as he continues to contribute nothing to humanity all over the globe.

50 Shades of Grey: Maybe that’s why it’s called Porking, the smell seems to linger everywhere

Even in my illicit pleasure I’m conservative

Aww he’s so cute and the picture is shiny, and it kills brain cell. This is what Freshly Pressed is all about

I was lobotomized because I couldn’t stop ferociously masturbating in public I post shiny pictures of things

Shiny pictures Yeah!!!!, Shiny pictures Yeah!!!!, Shiny pictures Yeah!!!!,
Shiny pictures Yeah!!!! WordPress likes Shiny pictures Yeah!!!! 

My Coke Habit Makes Bullshit Fashion Bearable and Chic

I used to feel bad about letting dudes in the industry use me as a sperm sponge ( you have to like the alliteration) but mild discomfort at first lead to more coke, better parties, cool clothes . Since I lost my soul a lot more in life is bearable

I like Drinking Coffee, it keeps me awake to see how much happier everyone else is [Tears roll down my cheek]

From the Poet apt named: OffMyFuckinMEds we have this gem:

Im off my meds
I dream about blood stained beds
But I’m happy about my life
All its change and strife
But for now, Ill cry tears 
In my coffee
I like it
bitter

I like useless DIY projects, the More Yarn I use the less ends up at sea killing Whales

I took all the trouble I was having getting my GED  as a sign that god wanted me to save the whales by knitting. Here is a big slice of a cake I made called reality, I’m going to use to make money for the Church at the Bake-sale

THIS IS A PARODY, I’VE DONE A FEW BEFORE

This one however was inspired by a comment from my Homegirl Alice from the Wonderful AliceAtWonderland Blog

You’ve just been  Bitterly Pressed… do you like my new format ?

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