A Jocular Look @Today’s News: Castration ‘can increase lifespan’


 

Ballsy study reveals cutting off testicles helps men live longer

There’s an easy way for men to add years to their lives: Castration. A study, published in the medical journal Current Biology, examined historical records of Korean eunuchs who had their testicles removed during boyhood and discovered that they lived 14 years longer on average than their ballsy counterparts. While the results aren’t conclusive, lead researcher Kyung-Jin Min said they support “the idea that male sex hormones decrease the lifespan of men.” It’s thought testosterone can weaken immune systems, and might encourage males to engage in more high-risk activities. Despite the potential benefits of castrations, we suspect most guys will choose the “early death” option instead.

MrMary Weighs in

In other shocking news it turns out that decapitated people dont ever suffer from brain cancers or puzzling questions like who to vote for on American Idol and people who have lost a hand never suffer from carpel tunnel. If you were to ask any guys would you like to add 20 years onto your life but you had to cut your balls off, I don’t know how many man will say yes. Why you may ask, let me tell you why by sharing this brief description on what happens to males dogs who get castrated. While they dont suffer from testicular cancer they:

The dog may become overweight or obese:Studies have shown that neutered animals probably require around 25% fewer calories to maintain a healthy bodyweight than entire male animals do. What tends to happen is that most owners, unaware of this fact, continue to feed their neutered male dogs the same amount of food after the surgery that they did prior to the surgery, with the result that their pets become fat.

Reality: You don’t get that big piece of chicken any more, and that was the one thing that validated your existence

Loss of testosterone as a result of desexing may result in immature development of masculine characteristics and a reduced body musculature:
The testicles are responsible for producing testosterone: the hormone that makes male animals look and act like male animals. It is the testicles that make male animals develop the kinds of masculine, testosterone-dependent body characteristics normally attributed to an entire animal.

Slang: You Look Like a Bitch

Neutering reduces the male animal’s drive to herd, hunt, guard and work:
Although this phenomenon has yet to be proven, many farmers, hunters and owners of guarding, sporting and working dogs will refuse to desex them because of the fear that their neutered animals will no longer have any drive to perform the work required of them.

The Horror: You sit around and watch the View and arent immediately repulsed. You don’t do a lot of your drive and competitiveness evaporate as did you waist line that is not a a circle with an ever expanding circumference.

In effect you stop being a man,

What will you scratch first thing in the morning ?

How will we drink to excess ? [Men produce more of the protective enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down alcohol.]

Who else can rock a bald head aside from Melissa Ehtridge who is a bit masculine?

How you you be able to function normally when you cant stand up to pee?

What about all the women who like older dudes ?  You wont get sexier with time with no balls?  My facial knife scar is really doing well for me along with the grey in the goatee.

Who will over work their traps ? ( see pic above with tattoo’d bald guy)

I will have to become a Gordon’s Fosherman to get my hands on wet musty box, in the shipping warehouse that’s not a life!

 

 

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