MrMary’s & Stendhal’s Cures for Love: Men and Intimacy

Disclaimer: The views express here are not necessarily those ascribed to by me MrMaryMuthaFuckingPoppin, or the author of this blog, it’s readers and followers. Rather this is a sarcastic take on modern day relationships. We here at aspoonfulofsuga believe in equal rights for everyone regardless or race color creed gender or music choice and we are proud supporters of love in whatever form or disease it happens to take. MrMary Cares

MrMary’s & Stendhal‘s Cures for Love

Men and Intimacy

The Reality

Falling in love has nothing to do with love. We have a primal craving to be truly known by someone before we die. We need and want to build deeply committed relationship based on honesty, trust, self-disclosure, respect, appreciation, interdependence, and togetherness whatever that means. Falling in love is really about self-recognition, recognizing yourself in another. What love really is, is to me beyond self-recognition beyond the sense

Love is not condescension, never that,
nor books, nor any marking on paper,
nor what people say of each other.
Love is a tree
with branches reaching into eternity
and roots set deep in eternity,
and no trunk.
Have you seen it? The mind cannot.
Your desiring cannot.

Gender Differences

Coming down from the lofty etheric realms of the esoteric to now the current moment; nowadays the idea is that genitals don’t define gender.  Gender is today considered to be a complex aspect of self identity influenced by both by one’s biology as well as  socio-cultural influences. There are many differences gender wise in this moment of self-recognition that we call “falling in love” just like there are many difference gender-wise with urination (well unless I have been drinking heavily and have to sit down to compensate for bad aim).
Stendhal never went to the car dealership to buy a car, or spent all day at a mall with some girl he liked but not that much, but I have done both and I can explain this behavior Stendhal talks about quite easily. I’m with this chic at the mall. She is cute and nice and its really nice  to spend some time together. She walks by a store sees an pair of shoes and says, actually let me recreate the scene
Cute Chic Id Stuff if she ever Stopped talking: I’ve got to have them, they look so cute… I have the perfect dress for this… know the one with the white belt ?
MrMary: Which one ? … the Skinny white Belt, The Wide White Belt, the medium white belt ?
Cute CHic: No the one I wore the other day with that grey top and the skinny jeans
MrMary: Oh yeah…. sorta
CuteChic: Sorta why ?
MrMary: I remember all the dirty stuff I was thinking about when you were wearing that, but don’t worry walking around the mall in circles, and seeing the same gang of fucktards has killed all libido.

                               Cut to the Chase

She bought the shoes and never wore them. They decorate the floor of her vast walk in closet.

My boy wanted to buy a car. We sa a car we both liked, it passed all the criteria we had on our check list. We grilled the dealer, is this very fuel efficient, how many miles to the gallon in the city, on the highway? what about the suspension?  handling? What kind of maintenance is optimal for this car? The defects that were found in the model 2 years earlier have they been rectified ? While my friend asked him questions I just looked the car dealer in the eye with a blank expressionless face and from time to time I said ‘hmmm’ and looked at my friend and he would raise an eyebrow. Total Intimidation. Anyways we test drove it.

See the Difference

As a man I cannot see a girl I like and say are you fucking crazy? will you every stop talking, when you talk how many words per minute in the city, how many words per minute on the highway ?  Are you over that mutha-fucka you dated 2 years ago? Do you fuck slow and ugly an old person ? The emotional defects that made u take a break from dating are u over dat shit ? How does the back of your throat feel like, do you sound sexy when you talk with your mouth full ? Can you go with the flow,  I gonna have to make all the fucking decisions as to where to eat what to fucking do on my one day off? Since I cannot just outright say that, the best bet is to is to reserve judgement and accessment until aft

Supplementary Facts to Keep in Mind

Also it is important to realize that:

  1. If you are not a movie star or someone famous the odds for  women are asking you out, offering to open doors for you, or help you with groceries, or tell you you have a nice ass as you run your errands are very slim.
  2. It is also important to realize that as far as I can remember no one takes it seriously when a man charges a women for rape.
  3. Before you get intimate with a women you will always have to jump through some hoops, you will have to listen to her, might have to meet her bullshit friends, might even have to meet some of those degenerates she calls family. It is an investment of both time and money you don’t have, especially in a recession.
  4. Although  times are different, and women can vote and they have rights and the feminist movement have made some gains I have not seen many women who will go dutch and or don’t like when a man pays for stuff

How you can use this in your Relationship ….

In every relationship there is one  who takes it and one who gives it. There is a cost one has to pay for the recipient for the aforementioned giving.  In my case I have noticed that most women I have met except for a few skanks, are really invested emotionally when it comes to intimacy/physicality. There is an act of submission  on both parts physically in the act of rod-ramming, emotionally to submit to the moment to the passions, for the dude if he isn’t a scumbag to the wants and needs of the lady, to feel wanted, desired and cared for, to be accepted flaws and all and  can go on and on but here is how to use this in your relationship.


I think it is important to accept that dudes aren’t as emotionally invested as you when it comes to sex. They are more invested in terms of time and money first. The time and money investiture seed the ground for later emotional investiture. Its that simple.  It like farming you got to put the work in first then, after you have rally plowed the fields real well, and you reap a harvest then you can get emotionally invested and celebrate. Don’t try to understand why things are the way they are  just accept it and if you want to play the fucking game.


Uhm no need to be a dick about stuff. Generally being straight up and honest at first means less clean up, changing phone numbers and alerting security  guards about your ex-gf. Remember a test-drive is just that, there are some cars that wont do well being test-driven and do everyone a fucking favor and move on to another car or dealership.

And there it is my friends

I know your impressed, stick around for more pearls of wisdom and like this series, to ensure more exclusive content for  MrMary’s and Stendhal’s Cures for Love Series

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