10 Things I learned from the Olympics

1. In the realm of international politics and the media, photo ops are everything.

When this picture came out it was supposed to offer hope. but that hope was short lived. There was an earthquake in Iran and because of sanctions imposed on the country there are people  who need some assistance who arent getting it. SO much for Olympic cheer  and togetherness. For the Americans who can find Iran on the map most of then do not hate Iranians. Then again the government doesnt really represent the American people, more so the shadowy American interests that  tangentially worry about our safety and defense.


2. If you are from American, and because of circumstance that are beyond your control you were born black – meaning this country sodomized your personal and familial history at some point, and you still decide to put your life, and sexual development on hold to run across a pole, do fancy jumps and twirls, roll on the floor, flip,  took part in an American qualifying event, was carrying the flag in the opening ceremony of  the Olympics, won gold for your country but did so without wearing something that was red white and blue, you are an unpatriotic.

Well I designed some red white and blue condoms, that way when you are fucking someone at least the parties involved, unless you are fucking Stacy the blind girl in 4B, will know they are being fucked for America. On a side note  she wore pink with sparklies- last i fucking checked that wasn’t the flag of any nation that exists, unless the open shower stalls where many members of the cast of Glee go to grab their ankles is a country.


3. The biggest winners really are the corporations who win more and more people who buy into their ideology, its not about the sports at all and friendly competition

Athletes captured the spotlight at the 2012 Summer Games but a social marketing web app helped companies score gold with consumers during what has been dubbed as the first social media Olympics. Wildfire, the social media management web software recently bought by Google and used by 16,000 companies worldwide, enabled firms to create Olympics promotions and campaigns on social platforms and track fan growth and engagement. Some of the official sponsors of the Games, which included Proctor and Gamble, Coca Cola and Visa, saw their fanbases grow by millions of followers, and a doubling of their engagement levels throughout the games,

The  Coca Cola fan base grew during the Games about 126%. And who can forget that in many of the article talking about the next Olympics in Brazil there was some advise given to Brazil:

There is money to be made in everything from hats to shoes and the outfits and inflatable hands in between. The red white and blue brought color to the Games here and may have boosted the economy in hard times.


4. I really don’t give a fuck

To be honest I have a lot to do and only one life to do it all in. That’s pretty tough. While I don’t fear death itself I fear suffering, physical pain to be specific, a lot more and not really doing what I feel drawn to do with my life.  To add to it

Among children and adults with sickle cell anemia  the median age at death was 42 years for males and 48 years for females. Among those with sickle cell-hemoglobin C disease, the median age at death was 60 years for males and 68 years for females. Among adults with sickle cell disease, 18 percent of the deaths occurred in patients with overt organ failure, predominantly renal. Fifty percent of patients with sickle cell anemia survived beyond the fifth decade. A large proportion of those who died had no overt chronic organ failure but died during an acute episode of pain, chest syndrome, or stroke. Early mortality was highest among patients whose disease was symptomatic.

Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7993409

I don’t know when i will be leaving and I really want to fucking live before I do. Maybe I will live long maybe I wont, but sometimes it helps to remind myself that I am 31 and  42 isn’t that far off. This is why I am not impressed or  think my day should stop when one asshole uses a stick to jump over another stick or some beastly girl with a large penis decide to through a 16lbs shot put for distance. No offense to her or her penis, I wish her luck in getting as many miles out of it that she can.


5. Morgan freeman despite his success has not learned to say no to job.

I had to hear stupid visa commercial congrats the winningest retard Michael Phelps.  Michael Phelps is to intelligence as Kim Kardashian is to Virginity. Morgan Freeman, I love you, yopur the penultimate narrator. You’re a black man who has played God in a movie that was seen by more than 5 negros in a basement. Your were the narrator in the Assassins’ Creed Revelation trailer – i loved it. You have made it, you don’t need to do everything that comes your way liek Visa commercials for Michael Phelps


6 . Jamaicans and West Indians can run fast wow when u consider that its common knowledge that they work 12-15 jobs when they move to the states or in particularly NYC its kind of redundant


7. The Olympics help us forget harder whats going on in our world, its the best tonic to sleep with a guilty conscious


8. The Olympics was only the beginning, now these gold medal winning jerk offs are touring the city, my fucking city

Members of the gold medal-winning U.S. Women’s Olympics gymnastics team that are known as the “Fierce 5” visited New York City on Tuesday. Aly Raisman, Gabby Douglas, McKayla Maroney, Jordyn Wieber, and Kyla Ross — who won team gold in London — visited the Empire State Building, the New York Stock Exchange, and elsewhere. They also were scheduled to tape an appearance on the “Late Show with David Letterman.”

Read more: http://www.myfoxny.com/story/19276780/olympic-gymnasts-visit-new-york#ixzz23gLtfB9v

So a group of underage gymnast are touring cities ? don’t let them visit churches its summer time and while the playgrounds have been full around the city, the school and churches have been a little empty and there be priests roaming. Personally as long as they don’t fuck up traffic and make it harder for me to go home, and run my fucking errands around the city I don’t care.  But didn’t we see enough of this circle jerking gym-tards enough ? I didn’t even watch the fucking Olympics and I can pick their lame underdeveloped, perpetually stuck in prepubescence selves a mile away. In America we love personal achievement when it suits us, and until someone can figure out a way to help me with their personal achievement … well I won’t say it but you can get it


9. There are more flat chested and mannish looking women in the Olympics than in PT Barnum’s Traveling Circus

I don’t need to say more do I. This is not about making fun of women or putting them down. This is  a subtle jab at how the Olympic have become a circus in many ways. Unfortunately this subtle point was made at the expense of the bearded lady who wouldn’t mind.


10. We all talk about how great it was to see people compete, and the spirit of together.

I have a task for all of you who believe in all that shit, what to see if as many people tune into the Paralympics and if companies and news media will go all out as much as  they did for the Olympics.

DISCLAIMER: In case this goes viral I love our American Athletes and how they represented this great nation.  I was constipated when I wrote this and do not bear any ill will towards the Olympians.  The anger, vitriol and bitterness in fact came from the sensation that I was sitting on a dumbbell and the widest part  was lodged in my colon. I love Morgan Freeman and he is amazing and actually could not find a 10th reason so i decided to poke fun at him.  It only shows his star power, that other people can make fun of him and become sorta famous.
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