How 2 of my Fav bloggers ruined my Campaign against WordPress


As I close in on 400 posts I am reminded of the early days of spewing vitriol here on the blog.  I started in those early days a movement called the Occupy WordPress Movement. Basically I would expose how WordPress’ Freshly Pressed was a sham, a big ole nutty brown pile of bullshit.

Here is the featured post which has gotten more comments and likes than any other post I’ve written. I found freshly pressed to be as ridiculous as this comb-over.

Why WordPress’s Freshly Pressed Is a Sham – Exposing the dreamworld we believe to be real.

other posts of the same nature:

SAT Word Charged 2012 Resolution List, Kvetching about Freshly Pressed, & the Occupy WordPress Movement (OWP)

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Kindly Freshly Press These: 2011 My Year of Bullshit Photography

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Nominate Bloggers You know and Love for My New Award for Relevant Blogging

(That says: The Go Fuck Yourself Award for Relevant Blogging – The banana is there for encouragement)

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I don’t know where’s the line

until i cross it.

So I continued on with a  parody of the Freshly pressed called Bitterly Pressed:

Bitterly Pressed: Notes on the Toilet After a day as a Vegan

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Bitterly Pressed: The Market’s Loose Women Selection Has Improved Lately (Humor)

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Bitterly Pressed: The War on Terror, Religion, and A Woman called Dick-sitter

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Bitterly Pressed: 10 Things I Wont Do in 2012 Part 1
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Unfortunately I continued onward

I used to take a post that was freshly pressed and make a mockery out of it case and point

Freshly Pressed Post: “Dear Me: A Letter to my 16 Year Old Self
MrMary’s Freshly Squeezed Post: Dear Me: A Sarcastic Letter to my 16 year old Self – see if you can pick out autobiographical moments

How the original Starts:

On a recent flight on Southwest Airlines, I came across a feature in their Spirit magazine.   A book was just published called ‘Dear Me: A Letter to my Sixteen Year Old Self’, edited by Joseph Galliano, which is a collection of 75 different letters by a variety of different celebrities (actors, comedians, writers, etc) writing their own version of a letter to their sixteen year old selves.  I have to admit, it caught my attention and made me remember all of those times I was young and told myself, ‘when I have kids, I will never do …..’.  To this day, I have no idea what any of those things were, I just know that my eight, ten, twelve, sixteen year old self made a mental note.

How MrMary’s Starts:

Seeing how real you kept it back in the 90′s I would be lying if I said all your dreams came true. There was no nuclear winter, and the world didn’t revert back to an age of savagery. There are no small Canadian villages to attack, no reason to have long permed hair and raid small Canadian hamlets on your quest to answer the riddle of Steel. You are going to have to find other ways to prove yourself.

Why I can’t do it anymore

Two of my favorite bloggers got Freshly Pressed, now I cannot call wordpress freshly pressed a sack of shit or an inflamed carbuncle on the anus of  social consciousness. I really like these bloggers writings, and their sense of humor, and they are even nice enough to talk to me. I like them enough they even know my first real name. To tell you how important that is many girls I date don’t find out my name till the court case  or the paternity test.

The Two Culprits:

Suzanita author of the LostNChina Blog

(Follow her or incur my wrath)-

Heather From the B(itch) Log

(Follow her or else)

So to the both of you I have compose the following:

Thanks to your fine writing, and friendship, I find it hard to be as big of a dick as I was when I started the blog, now it takes effort  and I have to watch Girlfriends on syndication to get to the colossally epic dickness you know love, and dream about.

I don’t know what to do with all this niceness and cheer that I feel welling up from my interstitial cell of Leydig. I will have to find someone else who wont fight back to bully now, which is ok but I had such a good gig here. 

– MrMary

Seriously these bloggers are excellent and if you arent following them you need to. In all actually their posts give me a lot of ideas for the posts that you read, and while I am the coolest person you’ll ever meet, I wouldnt be as cool if  they werent around.

On second thought I just realized that this just goes to show how good my taste is though I must say, chances are if you are my friend you will get Freshly Pressed because I am that damn good.

Peace

MrMary

 

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