Talking Non-sense and crapping on the Olympics


ah this is the life… 

I’m sitting at the computer in my underwear in front of the AC, drinking some beer, and no people my history hasn’t been wiped clean nor is it about to be in 5 minutes, …but my keyboard and monitor screen on the other hand…

I wanted to talk about something but ehh fuck it, I will just shoot the breeze, the other breeze not the one that tore through my keyboard and monitor.

The Olympics

(I have decided to talk about the Olympics, for those of you who like it or draw inspiration from it, I am about to emphatically take a dump on it, figuratively of course.)

Many people love the Olympics. When I was younger I used to like it, well mostly because my parents would let me stay awake, but  every time I watched the Olympics, I said to myself, “I’ve seen this before in the school yard, but of people running around trying to figure out who’s the fastest, strongest, smartest, funniest.”

Collective Moral Somnolence because the Olympics!!!!

The whole world falls into the deep sleep during the the Olympics, NBC filters out anything that may make us thing about the world and our place in it, issues like the recession , debt, climate related issues are  completely put aside so we can see which of the syphilitic trained hamster can run around the track faster, or put balls in hoops, or swim. I wanna put Michael Phelps in some polluted water to swim and see how long before he grows and extra eye on his back to watch me not give a fuck… but I digress here it is you’ze guys some reason why I am not feeling the Olympics:

Most Female Athletes

When I think of female athletes I think of really short women who take excessively tall guys, like… the kind of height disparity where it looks lik impending child molestation from half a block away. I mean these women get gored like a champ and they don’t have bionic hips, or throat reconstruction surgery. Female Olympic athletes look a lot like dudes, or androgynous prepubescent children or they make boner-killing faces If you are rubbing a couple out to a under-developed female gymnast its only a matter of time before your prowling the playground in a rape van.

It’s a Pagan Fucking Celebration

When I think of ancient Greece I think of sour throat yogurt, the kind younger boys had to forcible ingest when they were training naked in the Gymnasium. Can you imagine athletes thanking Jesus for helping them win in a series of pagan  ceremonies grounded in homosexual acts. Case and Point

Pole Vaulting – started off as two Ancients Greek trying to Spruce up buggery, many announcers forget about the other side of Pole Vaulting – pole polishing

False Nationalistic Pride

let me quote this:

The 2012 London Olympics get underway today and it is all very exciting. The pomp! The circumstance! The beautiful hardbodies in barely any clothing! The Olympics are great. Who doesn’t like the Olympics? Only jerks don’t like the Olympics. Though the trouble is, these days, some jerks are watching the Olympics and they’re bound and determined to ruin them for everyone else. So here we make a brief but impassioned plea: Please don’t watch the real-time events and spoil them for the rest of us who like to watch in prime-time.

Bullshit coming in 3 ….2….1.

! Let’s all watch the Olympics together, the real American way. The Olympics are about coming together. Come be together with us. OK, that’s all. That’s all we ask. It’s up to you to decide what kind of person — nay, what kind of American — you want to be. Are you a ruiner? Or are you a team player? Choose wisely.

Let me give you examples of watching things the American way

We show up for state executions

So in a recession, with all sorts of issues going on, challenging issues and we forget about them for a few weeks to cheer our athletes. What about world issues, what about the massacres in Syria with people dying everyday, how about the Islamic militants destroying world Heritage sites in Timbuktoo,  drought, climate change ramifications, how about the state of women in the Levant and North Africa, sectarian conflict spreading in many parts of the world.

Anyways that’s all
Enjoy,

Dave

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3 comments

  1. “I wanna put Michael Phelps in some polluted water to swim and see how long before he grows and extra eye on his back to watch me not give a fuck”

    Nice.

    Like

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