Jk… I don’t like foreigners much  …..  ;)

Ola You’ze Guyz,

I’m so fucking tired, I feel like the girl with the abortion scar at the prom – just bushed -uhm yeah seriously, stiff neck, red eyes, and wiped cleaner than a blackboard. I was at a conference for work that ended yesterday. I’m also prepping new lectures for the new semester, and putting myself out there to get a new job. Yes MrMary is moving on up slowly and steadily like the girls working the stripper pole tonight, but don’t worry my crotch doesn’t smell like ass and desperation, it smells more like Channel No. 5.

Go low now, baby work that pole!
Baby I’ma be your motivation
Take you to school ~ give you a sex education
End it all real quick without hesitation

I’m back in regular form. So here is a conversation I had with a french touriste (the ‘e’ makes it feminine, sort of like a lack of accountability) I leave you with  during my conference which took place at a hotel I could never afford.

Chit Chat

   …….. (Save you from the bullshit chit chat before)………..

MrMary: How do you like your stay in NYC so far
Josette: It’s great, everyone is so nice and there are so many things to do….
MrMary: I’m glad to hear that, NY‘er are really nice underneath it all… I must ask you about the food so far, your accent and name give you away you must be French…. I would say from The North-West of France
Josette: You are very perceptive,  how did you guess North West France…?
MrMary: I heard the music of Pierre Bachelet a lot as a child….. You know Les corons , Emmanuelle, Ecris Moi and all that .
Josette: The food was ok, I did not try many places yet, I am here for few more days ….
MrMary: What did you have today for lunch, any suggestions ?
Josette: I went to that place that tosses your salad for you
MrMary: uhm… what … ? say that again
Josette:  There is this place around the corner that tosses your salad.
MrMary: uhm …  when they toss it,  is it with jelly or Syrup ?
Josette: I don’t understand… it  is salad …  ehh  you mean like dressing ? …. there are many things they put into it … the dressing was not sweet
MrMary: The dressing they put after they toss your salad is never sweet…. my fault …
(Brief Silence)
MrMary: Josette,   I have to get back to the conference on enjoy the rest of ur stay. It’s been a pleasure …
Josette: A bien toi

This Conversation overheard near Time Square,  it was crowded of course and I am walking in the same direction as these chicks from OZ  (the country not the prison show – actually girls people not prison bitches)

That smells great
What ?
That guy there,
Where, …..
Right there on the corner
Oh yeah… he’s selling warm nuts ?
The nuts aren’t just warm they are honey roasted
(walks over to the Honey roasted cart)
How much for your nuts
I got three kinds, which kind…?
Those … (points to the honey roasted cashews)
Ah ok these nutz….
Yea those nuts, are they still warm?
Here , these nuts are still warm,
Great do you have change I only have a $20……

 

 

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