Replacing the Bible with 50 Shades of Grey …….


Breaking News, Sorta

The controversy surrounding a U.K. hotel that has replaced copies of the Bible with copies of the erotic bestseller “50 Shades of Grey” in nightstands has hit international headlines.  Many local church leaders and Americans, and even celebrities have responded.

Many people have responded but until i respond, it was all meaningless. Here is my public service announcement.

Getting on With it

When I think of the Bible I think of the usual most stolen book from library and I also remember God striking Onan down with a thunderbolt for masturbating and  having his manly-juice land on the ground, it understandable they didn’t have sinks back then  and everyone wore open sandals.

I have been in a decent number of hotels, sometimes for work and sometimes for the esteemed visceral honor of bedding a pretty lady. The last thing I have never done in a hotel is read the bible. I figure there are atheists, non-Christians, drug addicts, suicidal writers, drunks, incestual Southerners, polygamous Mormons, stand up comics …etc so its only write that the bible was replaced. But Why with 50 Shades of Grey. Initially I would think it would be replaced by books such as:

But ….

Picking a Better Book than 50 Shades

The bible is an epic book, wars, saviors, evil, wars, prophets, death and resurrection;  sounds like the Lord of the Ring Trilogy.  The Bible is known the world over, in some places not in the best light, in other place its the book of books. Many people have claimed that the Bible is the reason why there is war, suppression of women, slavery, and some other horrible things, like the flow-y robe and open sandals style. 50 Shades of Grey isn’t as epic as the bible and there haven’t been as many copies sold.

Criteria for Epic Books to replace the Bible

  1. Has to be recognized everywhere
  2. Has to have a history of inciting people to violence according to people and the media
  3. There has to be many movies based on it
  4. Has to be responsible for the oppression and abuse of scores of people.
  5. Must be translated into many languages
  6. It must be non-factual
  7. Should have been integral to the oppressive and exploitative political landscape of Europe
  8. No one would really read it in a hotel until they are weird
  9. Cannot be any other culture’s religious book or they may issue a fatwa/black Mass/ Send some goons against or after me.

Possible Books

Just like American Idol , You the people get to pick and decide

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
The King James, version of the Bible
The Wealth of Nations By Adam Smith
The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin

My rationale

I used a combination of the sayings of the American News media and Wikipedia to come up with these books

The Wealth of Nations really changed the economic scene of the world, gave us capitalism and its abuses , highly influential.

The Origin of Species  great book by Charles Darwin really changed the way we view life and the human species. ever hear of social Darwinism ? Darwinism affected not only biology but economics as well in many interesting ways

Mein Kampf  – Adolf Hitler was a sick human being. His book became a rallying point for the Nazis at some point  sold over 10 million copies many of which were giving to newly weds and soldiers.

King James version of the Bible – there are many versions of the bible and this one happens to be written by the American basketball player and Olympic gold winning hopeful Lebron James.

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2 comments

  1. Holy shit, people are in an uproar over this? All of this false hysteria over nothing. Just like when people were all up in arms over Team USA gear being made in China. As if most of the clothes that we wear is made in countries other than the USA.

    Like

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