Now that Nasty Elmo is Gone I’m doing Press for My Good Friend Elmo

Ola Ninos,

The other day I took a picture with my homey Elmo. We hadn’t really chilled since my younger days but it was nice to see him standing around whoring himself to families with little kids in Time Square to have their pictures taken. Yes there is a dark underbelly to Sesame Street and I wont discuss it now. I want to do some damage control to restore Elmo’s Credibility. You see there was a crazy man who was running around  saying nasty things inside a suit. We all know my friend Elmo is actually a furry ginger from  Northern Ireland who came here in his youth but because of a neurological disease has the continued mental capacity of a 5 year old in the slow class.

Nasty Elmo Is Gone, and the Other Ones Are Just Tickled

Turn out there were more people trying to impersonate my simple friend. There are a Gang of them. Here are the facts

On Monday, the day after the police ejected a man wearing the furry, red costume from Central Park for exploding into an obscenity-laced rant, other Elmos around New York said they recognized the man from previous clashes and expressed hope that his brush with the law would help their trade’s reputation.

In between posing for photos and harassing tourists for tips, the offending Elmo would often treat tourists and fellow Sesame Street impersonators alike to xenophobic and anti-Semitic tirades. The man in the costume, whose name was not released because he was not arrested, was taken to Metropolitan Hospital Center for a psychological evaluation, the police said on Monday.

What did Nasty Elmo Say:

According to Luis a Peruvian immigrant who has been pretending to be my friend for 6 months said: “He would stop and say that we were all illegal immigrants and that people shouldn’t have their photos taken with us,” said Luis, who would not give his last name. Whenever he saw the shouting Elmo, Luis said, he would move to another part of Times Square.

“If you start your own business in this city, Jews will harass you!” he shouts in a video shot in Central Park, prompting a woman to gasp and say, “That is the scariest Elmo I’ve ever seen in my life!”

My Friend Elmo Ask me to read this to you

Elmo: Look Mr.Mary! Look Everybody! Elmo is a firefighter!

You’ve heard it from the horse’s mouth. Elmo is a firefighter and not capable of being so nasty. My question to you all is if Elmo is out fighting fires where does he have the time to go around the city and be nasty to people. As he has said before: “Elmo love Every body”.

Let us focus our attention on more important things like the cookie Monster and why he continues to take advantage of Elmo’s simple intellect to post various offensive pictures? The Cookie Monster is a bitch !!!!

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