(Reported today from the Gothamist)
High pressure over the Southeast will bring us really close to that record this afternoon. Not only will this heat be miserably humid, but the air quality is going to take a nose dive as ozone concentrations build during the day. To top it all off the summer solstice occurs at 7:09 this evening. A repeat of the heat, humidity and gunky air is expected for the first full day of summer tomorrow. There’s a good chance the record high of 97 degrees last set in 1988 will be broken. Although Friday’s high will again reach the 90s, that should be the last of the heat wave.
I said to myself, MrMary why not list some things you should do in a NYC heatwave. It would be my public service announcement and a way of giving back So here it is.
Things You Should do in a NYC HeatWave
As this is NYC – a city known for its attitude and prolific use of expletives – Go Fuck Yourself.
It’s legal for woman to be topless anywhere a guy can be without a shirt since 1992 here in New York State. So everyone go topless. International Go Topless Day is August 26. It’s still not legal thought thank god to go completely nude in public. although I have done so drunk. Check out last August 26 here.
Ride the Mutha Fucking Hot Sweaty Subways, which reminds me of the Inferno, raining putrefaction and other things
Listen to this and say “Azucar” at random times during the day
Contact me and if your cool I will make you a refreshing drink or crack open some of the good stuff I have stashed
Wear thongs to go sunbathing in inappropriate places like parks, family beaches, everywhere but a nudist beach or more provocative places like your best friend’s moms house because she is easy according to the writing on this bathroom stall
This public Service announcement was brought to you in part by the letter D for DoucheBaggery.