Skinny Women, Evolution, and Lane Bryant


Conversation

(Eating Lunch)
Female Friend: Man this sucks
MrMary: What happened ?
Female Friend: I spilled something on my self ….
MrMary: is it really that bad ?
Female Friend: I mean yeah this is one of my favorite shirts
MrMary: Next time you’re taking down a sub, you should stick your chin out, …. Imagine its a first date where you’re at that fancy place you were never able to go, no matter how many one’s were in your purse

FemaleFriend:  You fucking jerk
MrMary: Kind of oxymoronic no? Fucking & jerk, unless that’s your first date MO
Female Friend:  no asshole, (laughter) What’s your MO?
MrMary: It changes depending on the day, the girl… if I was dating you which I wouldn’t  Id take you somewhere unusual ….
FemaleFRiend: First off….Why wouldn’t you date me mofo … ? I’m not your type ? … bitches like you who hide behind words can’t handle a real woman …. and what unusual place you’d take me a basement with books and stiff jizz filled rags

MrMary: First off Since when is keeping you in check hiding behind words, I’m not the cashier at Lane Bryant, check yo’self before I reject your receipt. Second I’m not Roman Polansky why would I take you to some basement, especially looking at all the napkins you used and how you got that sammich all over you, I’d need a place I can clean up and disinfect easy… something with tile or linoleum
Female Friend: Lane Bryant ? Mofo  what you tryna say?
MrMary:  Lemme Guess your doing the PX90 and are almost at your ideal weight, and ..

(this is where it got bad … for me  so I ex’d it out,  now to my thoughts)

Theory

I think we are to a degree programmed (genetically maybe) with certain elements of an aesthetic appreciation for the opposite sex (speaking as a heterosexual). Before life became slow, sedentary and pathetic we had to put in hard hours and labor to sustain ourselves there were certain qualities I feel men were attracted to in women. Supposedly wide hips (aka Child-bearing hips) was supposedly a sign of being able to carry a baby well through, a large chest meant supposedly that this women would be able to nurse her children etc. These qualities lay at the basis supposedly according to some to what we find attractive in a mate.

The skinny women of the runways, on the cocaine and fellatio diet would not have been a hundred or two hundred years ago I think be able to sustain the challenges of living healthily. Of course there are women who are naturally skinny and I am not knocking them. Rather I am knocking this artificial  beauty standard that says that women have to look like stick figures or whatever other nonsense is stylish or in popular.

At the Gym

I see a lot of women reading or flipping through magazines at the and each picture of the women in the magazine looks more and more airbrushed or photoshopped and unrealistic. I’ve seen a  lot of women work out till they look very dude-ish which is a shame, some even take steroids. I feel it is important for one to be healthy, and healthy for everyone is different, there is no uniform weight, BMI or anything that will work for every person.

My Feeling is that both the morbidly obese and the whole sickly skinny physique is not healthy and not attractive ( to me and a shit-ton load of dudes I know).  A little extra-weight is more cushion for the pushin I say. I think anyone of  those Lane Bryant Women are much more attractive than Olive Oil here:

I eventually explained to my friend the Lane Bryant Joke wasn’t a knock after some more insults . I thought she would shop there as she doesnt look like an anorexic cock smoking 8 Ball Hiding ho.

All is well now 🙂

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One comment

  1. I have a funny story about Lane Bryant. When I was in high school, my boyfriend and I were at the mall with my mom and she had “upgraded” to Lane Bryant in terms of size. We were in the back of the store, where they had the lingerie, and they had an ad for said lingerie and my boyfriend (16 at the time) said whilst shoveling cheese popcorn in his mouth: “Hey Heath, look at those fat fucking wanna be Victoria Secret models up there.” Two dirty looks and my mom seeing shit was going to get ugly and we were out of there.

    I agree with you – there is no weight, BMI, etc that is standard. Everybody’s body is different. Some of the skinniest people I know are the most unhealthy. Nice post homie 🙂

    Like

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