Public Service Announcement to my Fellow Americans

While I was writing for the second part of my Stop and Frisk series I happened upon this article Census: Minorities now surpass whites in US births. I can already see  the mayhem this article is going to cause  tomorrow when many more people read this on their tablet as their stepping over hungry homeless people on their way to work. First I will present you with the facts


  1.  For the first time, racial and ethnic minorities make up more than half the children born in the U.S., capping decades of heady immigration growth that is now slowing.
  2. Minorities made up roughly 2.02 million, or 50.4 percent of U.S. births in the 12-month period ending July 2011. That compares with 37 percent in 1990.
  3. In all, 348 of the nation’s 3,143 counties, or 1 in 9, have minority populations across all age groups that total more than 50 percent. In a sign of future U.S. race and ethnic change, the number of counties reaching the tipping point increases to more than 690, or nearly 1 in 4, when looking only at the under age 5 population.

My Fellow Americans

Through the auspices of Irony, I a voiceless faceless politically apathetic American have come to address the collective fears that grip the country. With the rapid untamed proliferation of minorities in this country many of you are wonder will the American way of life,  that we have surpressed millions over the years to maintain, be finally eroded. Is the Tanning of America a sign of the end?  I am here to tell you that it will not.

If there is one thing about America that makes me proud to be an American, is that she endures. I am reminded of that every time when I am trapesing around lower Manhattan and I see the Statute of Liberty Right there in front of me. I remember those epic words :

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

For centuries this pristine land had enduring like it kind of does now, the wretched refuse from the recent Japanese Earthquakes, the egregious slaps of wave after wave of an even more evil refuse: that of immigrants, the uncouth rejectamenta of the world.  We let our guard down we let in some Europeans, and now everyone thinks they can come here , especially the people our foreign policy has disadvantaged over the centuries. And now there is a hidden spectre a shadowy presence haunting America. This subversive entity  threatens to replace Sunday Evening celebrations of illiteracy incestuous relationships popular in the South with rap music irreverent clapping, and chitlins all to the cacophonous subtext of a bombastic bass track.

Chitlins or no chitlins, we will have bigger fish to fry, especially with more  minorities in the picture. But like a famous possibly homosexual American President gas said before, there is nothing to fear but Fear itself. We have let the popularity of Yoga, Bollywood Movies, and Charles Bronson Death Wish Movie franchise  instill the idea that there is such a thing as karma, or retribution or justice. While clearly there is no such thing, this fear of having to deal with bad karma has even scared the oddly named Kansas Governor Sam Brownback into apologizing on Thursday to the 5 blacks in his state, on their way a waffle House in St Louis, for segregation. I could smell the fear in his heart that with more minorities around his daughter will suddenly be into doing squats and lunge so she can fill out a nice pair of AppleBottom Jeans. Or may he is afraid that after some shots of tequila his lil baby will be going down on the help hanging outside home depot or maybe that he will be force to call his future son in Law by his street name: El Torro Fuerte.

But here is why things wont change

  1. In having made poverty, and the lack of a good education, healthcare, nutrition solely the responsibility of the people who are uneducated and poor and living on the margins of a society which has over the last few hundred years disenfranchised them legally culturally and socially minorities I believe will continue to kill each other in prohects and spiritual vapid public housing complexes where they live.
  2. We already know “Its hard out there for  a Pimp” – with the increases in obesity, depression, autisim – pimps and most men will never get hard again. Our generation will be too fat to find our sexual organs. Men will have to roll their female partners in flour first to find their wet spots, when they try to have sex which will be very rare as the after effective of the depression drugs  kill libidos
  3. We will continue to poison ourselves with fast food we eat, the TV we watch, our ever-increasing fixation with social media to the point that we won’t notice the slow steady disappearances of freedoms, legal rights etc
  4. We will continue to let people like Joe the Plumber, Manny ‘The Prison Bitch’ Pacquiao, Kanye West Kim Kardashian influence our opinions on the events of the day.
  5. We will give more attention to who wore what dress,  instead of issues like education, and unequal distribution of wealth

All in all we have seriously fist fucked our civilisation to the point that things will get no better or worse, they will just stagnate granted having more minorities might make Americans on a whole less susceptible to skin cancer with all that melanin, it might make us want to rethink our take on history, and maybe when we have reached a critical mass, a unique saturation of coloureds/minorities we might consider the reality that the time has come for American to be more than just and idea, a fictionalised history, where we are really a melting pot, where we are all welcome here and not actually just tolerated.

You see for me America is an idea I feel in love with long ago. I’m waiting for it to be real, to be fleshed out till that happened so I find something to feel patriotic about, other than Basketball, easy girls from New Jersey, and being able to get whatever I want once it’s night time in New York City. So No worries things wont get worse they will just stagnate a whole lot more

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