The Dude Known as DayTime Porn & My Experience at the job


Fort Negril Beaches

I have noticed something in NYC, a trend if you will that I have seen in about 70 – 80% of office and commercial buildings namely security detailed is populated by black dudes of which there is always a Haitian/ Jamaican/ Trini. One of these dudes got  these shiny waves on his dome like spent all day at Fort Negril on the beach, there is another dude with the Scottie Pipen Afro-PUff that is quite anachronistic but he manages some how to pull it off. Also, secondly, the maintenance people is mostly stack with hispanics of all nationalities. Again this is not a rule just an observation.

At this one job like many I had the distinction of being the only minority to work in research. I was a laboratory technician and I fucking hated it because my boss was a dick luckily I met up with my brother from another mother, this other dude named Puerto Rican BrotherMary.  We used to watch out for each other  and just get each other backs in a way that other people people couldnt understand. He was a research student at a famed NY City University who was doing an internship, we are homies for life to say the least.

The Custodial Staff

When I quit this job I was talking to my home girl Ms. Hernandez in HR, she was  gorgeous in that mid 30’s sorta way and unmarried with a kid. She had a great personality, she could cook that old school food Caribbean  food you would run home too and then after eating work up an appetite for some food. (see what I did there I love double entendre), Anyways I don’t discriminate but Ms Hernandez did my exit interview. She asked me whats one thing I’d like to see happen to improve things and I said:

I really don’t like how people look down on the custodial or security staff and then talk about how we are a family a team of people that works together for one. We had a nice conversation about it, off the records that some of these mutha-fuckers with PhD and such seem to think everyone else without that degree is a schmuck or not worthy of being talked to as a human being.  We really bonded over that and some other shared experiences, all sexual joking aside.

Enter DayTime Porn Guy

One dude my homey on the job was a janitor. He was cool man me and PrBrotherMary  ate lunch with him,  he chilled with us in our office when the bosses were away. His wife recently left him and his daughter and ran off with some other dude taking a bunch of money from his savings. It was tough times for him, and we chitchatted whenever we could.

I guess we got on more familiar terms than I would have liked, because whenever he would see us he would make a bee-lien for us and tell us about his latest sexual exploits, I will quote from some conversations verbatim, suffice it to say we spoke in slang.

(I want to tell all of you, that speaking in slang doesn’t mean one is uncouth and uneducated.  I have a pretty good vocab and work speaking voice however when I am around my homies or my peoples the talk is different. )

  1. Yeah my Niggaz (the word Niggaz echos through the lab)  so this chick was going down on me in my van
  2. My nigga (The word Nigga echos again through the lab) she went at that shit like she was a mermaid, almost thought she was gonna pass out from not breathing
  3. Son, she fucking blew me while I was eating a Big mac in my van
I won’t continue because its 2am and I laughing and getting complaints. (I have an excessively loud laugh). People have told me the weirdest most disgusting stories. But pretty soon, not having a wife to take care of , and working excessive overtime to compensate for the filched money, he buys some top of the line phone and one day while I am designing a PCR experiment and getting ready to cast my DNA gel (for electrophoresis) he comes over to me and PrBrotherMary and shows us porn on his phone. The one thing I remember from that episode was saying in my head:
  1. I will never shake this dudes hand again,  Just the wassup eyebrow and head raise, at most imma give this fool a pound aka the fistbump
  2. Yes my friend, Its amazing what she can do with the corona bottle, its like that Geyser at Yellowstone….
I felt violated, and dirty just confused too – would the alcohol in the Corona burn ? How do you discover you have that vagina geyser talent?…actually I don’t wanna know.
At the end of the day, daytime Porn dude was our homey and we accepted him for him.  Eventually for our sake he settled down with someone new and that calmed it down

CHEERS TO DAYTIME PORN DUDE – YOU WERE A GOOD FRIEND – DONT LET THEM GET YA DOWN

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3 comments

  1. “I will never shake this dude’s hand again” – a good choice!

    I never understand why some people feel the need to talk down to others. If someone has wronged me, that’s the only time I’ll do it (or I’ll kill them with kindness, because they don’t know what to do with themselves and it’s VERY funny to watch)…it’s deserved.

    In a work enviro, though, it makes absolutely no sense…I’m friendly with everyone – no matter what they do here.

    Like

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