Celebrating Women: Talking With my old Friend Ms. SexyTime (2/3)


(indiscriminate talking about nothing)

Intro

MrMary-ly: I’m a Christian Gentleman or have u forgotten
Ms. SexyTime: at times i cant’ remember if I wiped myself this morning so I’ll take your word for it
MrMary-ly: man, if that’s the case it’s best not to wear thongs then ?
Ms. SexyTime: I wouldn’t know lol

Ladies’ Undergarments, Boner Killing

passion killers

MrMary-ly: its safe to talk about undergarments do you like womanly undergarments esp since this is women’s month in March
Ms. SexyTime: what are womanly undergarments and why is this women’s month in March WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME !!!
MrMary-ly: No one told u because you hate most broads……. Woman undergarments fall into two categories burlap sacked used in biblical times that kill boners and lacy minimalist ones that resurrect them
Ms. SexyTime: see that’s why I hate broads they don’t tell me shit. …eeh fuck em, fuck em in the ass ….. uhm can i say I’m in between i don’t use burlap sack but i don’t walk around using pasties
either i don’t think I’m Lil Kim
MrMary-ly: So what your saying is that your a catholic as you don’t kill boners or resurrect them you just keep them flaccidly hoping ?
Ms. SexyTime: YESSSSSSSSS right on the nose literally

The Shot Towel

Oh i definitely do

MrMary-ly: thats disrespectful to a lady isn’t it?
Ms. SexyTime: what is
MrMary-ly: the whole ‘on the nose thing?’
Ms. SexyTime: How so?.. oh you mean like busting on the nose
MrMary-ly: ur filthy !!! …………and I like that
Ms. SexyTime: isn’t that why there’s a shot towel ……..I thought that’s why its there
MrMary-ly: Please define Shot towel ?
Ms. SexyTime: when a guy is about to bust a nut and he has a towel to clean it up but its small towel then you BAM DROP ON DAT BITCHES FACE TOMA
MrMary-ly: taking notes one sec…ok I’m caught up uhm to you talk like that to all the guys ? I’m kind of hoping you are this nasty for me

Ms. SexyTime: sorry about the delay my comp froze and i had to slap it around
MrMary-ly: uhm wow that’s a new way to describe it

Ms. SexyTime: plus some crazy homeless guy thinks its cool to suck the snot out of this throat
MrMary-ly: wow
Ms. SexyTime: yea not very sexy
MrMary-ly: I wont even ask where u are as we are chatting
Ms. SexyTime: I’m at a library  oddly enough
MrMary-ly: ah learning is fundamental
Ms. SexyTime: It seems to be

In Influence of Older Brothers

MrMary-ly: so why are you so foul in your style of talk
Ms. SexyTime: me? foul no way I never thought I was honestly
MrMary-ly: it’s too late to play coy after the shot towel explanation
Ms. SexyTime: whose playing coy lol I’m serious granted maybe I am bit rough around the edges but I really don’t think I’m foul
MrMary-ly: How did your edges get roughed
Ms. SexyTime: HAHAHAHAHAH uhm hearing stories from men in my life family, friends, especially my older brother

Breakfast

MrMary-ly: aww that’s cute….. I could have you for breakfast……..I make a good scrambled eggs
Ms. SexyTime: please do so
MrMary-ly: and other accoutrement
Ms. SexyTime: great then by all means breakfast it is
MrMary-ly: I always love how you playfully indulge me
Ms. SexyTime: thanks it’s a gift
MrMary-ly: you’re messing with forces you cannot possibly control

Elephant level Diarrhea

Ms. SexyTime: that’s what makes it fun until you’re up late at night and sitting on the toilet because of that terrible burrito you bought from a taco truck and you knew you shouldn’t have gotten it because the lady who made it kept coughing all over it and when she smiled at you she only had one tooth yet somehow she was able to chew
MrMary-ly: wow the chat turns autobiographical
Ms. SexyTime: but that wasn’t me

Family Structure, Prostate Exam and Making the Joke

beer swilling horse

MrMary-ly: I’m guessing your the youngest and only girl
Ms. SexyTime: I was just saying yes i am
MrMary-ly: ah it all makes sense the foul talk, the beer swilling and room full of seamen.
Ms. SexyTime: who said anything about beer swilling !!! are you implying that I SWILL BEER??
MrMary-ly: I’ve never met a women who talked like that you didn’t swill beer
Ms. SexyTime: WELL!!!! I do..it’s good
MrMary-ly: yeah I’d imagine it so
Ms. SexyTime: i’m sure you do Mr. dirty head
MrMary-ly: dirty head ?
Ms. SexyTime: yeah
MrMary-ly:are you questioning the cleanliness of my thoughts
Ms. SexyTime: it’s dirty
MrMary-ly or genitals
Ms. SexyTime: NO
MrMary-ly: one is ok, the other is uncalled for 😉
Ms. SexyTime: I’m addressing the fact that they are both dirty
MrMary-ly: cmon now, sour grapes don’t go well with pretty faces
Ms. SexyTime: ok, ok I take it back
MrMary-ly: so I rest them on a willing chin ………
Ms. SexyTime: What ?!?!
MrMary-ly: uhm…. nothing…..There is nothing dirty about me or my blog I have managed to capture the voice of a generation and made Tom Brokaw my bitch
Ms. SexyTime: but I will say you have odd ball pictures that sometimes I can’t see the connection
MrMary-ly: really ?
Ms. SexyTime: PM yet however all i remember are the pictures lol I’m a big fan of your blog
MrMary-ly: I’m a big fan of what you do
Ms. SexyTime: and i’m not just saying that to blow smoke up your ass ….uhm what do I do
MrMary-ly: I get you on the smoke blowing I’m to young for prostate exam .. What you do …  making time for and  being a fan of seamen …….. sorry had to make the joke

Side Note:

We Ms. SexyTime and I aren’t the first to talk of the shot towel check out this poem by the literary great Charles Bukowski

the place didn’t look bad

she had huge thighs
and a very good laugh
she laughed at everything
and the curtains were yellow
and I finished
rolled off
and before she went to the bathroom
she reached under the bed and
threw me a rag.
it was hard
it was stiff with other men’s
sperm.
I wiped off on the sheet.

when she came out
she bent over
and I saw all that behind
as she put Mozart
on.

Enhanced by Zemanta

2 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s