Thinking out loud for a lil bit


I got this nice comment the other day from Big Sexy, the author of TheSandyTongue. It became the  inspiration for this rambling post. Thanks to all of you who read my non-sense and leave comments. Special shout out to Big Sexy – next time I’m in Florida we’re getting plastered, drinks on me

Although we are from different worlds, I feel we are somewhat kindred spirits. In one post, you spin a hilarious story filled with debauchery laced “fuck yous” to society and in the next post you present the absolute human aspect of your personal experience. I feel I do the same, I enjoy it and I always enjoy your posts. You bring an incredibly profound perspective of real life to these pages and for that I thank you. I’m a sheltered white boy from Florida who grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth and didn’t experience real life until recently. You are my exact opposite and I think that’s why I like you so much.

__________

Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person.
Tennessee Williams

Despite being baptized Catholic, getting all those sacrament thingies, and 14 years of a Catholic education I never bought into the whole idea of hell or heaven. To me, perhaps because of the harshness of some experiences in my life, I found meaning in the fact that the ‘now’ is all we have, and what counts is intention with which we approach things.

The only thing that really stirs me in a deeper sense, aside from the annual prostate exam is of course interacting with people beyond the superficial banter and back and forth. My friends and family used to joke and call me the friend of the friendless due to the stray animals I have fed, the homeless people who  I sit with or bring food too, the weird people who always find me on the bus and train, and other’s like this one older middle aged woman who just sat down next to me on a bench in Central Park (it’s right behind my workplace) and was telling me about her divorce and how unhappy she was. Sometimes the greatest thing to do for a person is to sit in silence and let them unburden themselves.

I find that after all those experiences we are all sheltered, we are all encapsulated in the story, or rather what we have perceived of it, of our own life. I have seen that although we communicate more and more through the internet we are ironically enough so very cut off from each other, I see this the most in how men and women get along or interact. We get so wrapped up in trying to be safe and control things more to our liking that we miss out really.

I remember once I was living in a place that is sorta hood but not and I was rushing to get some groceries to cook something for me and my lady at the time and I while in the express lane I offer a tattoo’d crazed looking thug with only a bottle of ketchup to go in front of me. He smile and told me its cool baby, I got out of prison a bit ago and its so amazing just to buy ketchup. He said he has all the time in the world.  I gave him a pound told [fist bump plus pat on the back] and told him I’m glad he came through and wished him the best. It was freeing for both of us in the moment.

I always feel that if we accept the reality of how life is we find that we can really come together  in meaningful ways when necessary, I don’t want to come together when I’m just sweaty out the gym, or using the showers that would be uncomfortable, unless it’s a co-ed shower, ladies  a little stiffness in your muscles wont be so bad  after all the work out warmed you up ( and I am back… I can only be serious for so long.)

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