PigeonHearts, Christian Gentleman Bullshit, Answering more Questions, I dunno what else to write here


I quote the following from my old Student Handbook of the Catholic All Boys Prep School I went too.

An essential part of [our] mission is to develop the spiritual and moral aspects of our young men. Thus, the Campus Ministry Team plays an integral part of our student’s growth as young Christian gentlemen.

Yeah the View from the Back of that Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can tell from my postings, I haven’t as of yet ascertained the high ranking of a Christian Gentleman, most probably for two reasons. Firstly because, I don’t advocate genuflection. To me when either partner is on their knees, they aren’t in a position to clearly articulate the words Jesus, God or Christ and my ego needs stroking too. Ego stroking is like one’s sense of smell, if compromised nothing has any taste (free tip for the ladies). Secondly I am not a fan of missionary work. If after hours of seeing the face of the person who’s hinterland I am going to be invading I should be able to opt to watch The View (wait for it), yeah..The View from the Back of That Azzz!!!

So I am going to make amends and do something Christian-y and gentlemanly. I am going to first apologize to the blogger of The PigeonHeart  for taking an innocuous comment she made and for the sake of derision turning it into something  potentially dirty, and then like a good Christian I am going to self flagellate to extirpate my guilt  – eh not really I live with too many people and I already wear the defective bikini underwear round the house. The comment

Ms. Charmingly: wait- you’re not a smiley face both day and night?! Whaaaat are youuuu? human!? ew.

MrMary-ly: Though I am known for my head (because a nice smiley face sits on it – giggles*) I am much more than that. I have a wayward mind that for some reason finds sexual undertones in unusual things like the P’zone from Pizza Hut…yeah you know P’zones….

” multi-meat mayhem in there. Stuffed with all your favorite” – Pizza hut website

My Apology and Penance

I am sorry for my headlong dive into the morally tepid waters of profanity. I did not mean to ruin the 20-2500 cal P’Zone for everyone- P’Zone fans I’m sure your angioplasty will be a success.There is something about the perfidiousness of my brand of plebeian parlance that gets me going like a heady wine. But I will eventually make my headmasters proud by answering the follow questions, sent to me by Ms Charmingly herself. Luckily for me the Questions are classy and stave far away from all the naughty bits of information you really want to know.

1. What’s the best thing that happened to you in the last 36 hours?

I saw on this funny blogger’s blog roll a link to my other blog where I display other kinds of things. It was nice as I haven’t done anything to promote that site. It’s more of my personal writings. It seems I’m not always a giggling meat-piece all the time. I was contemplating letting them know it was me but I didn’t.

2. What are your pet peeves?

Being Ignored, Meanness, people with unrealistic expectations, people who tease or abuse animals, talking about work at lunch or outside of work (there is more but that’s all I can think of now), micro managing

3. Did you have an imaginary friend growing up or did you want one? Tell us all! When did you part ways? Was it gradual? Im so jealous! I always wanted one but never got one!… Oh yeah, next question…

I didn’t have an imaginary friend, I wanted a hot baby sitter to sit on my babies Although I had a habit of when focused speaking out-loud my thoughts which let to some  interesting event and beating. Turns out  saying cocksucker in your head becomes an offense when it comes out in the living room during final Jeopardy.

4. If you had the power to declare a national holiday what would you declare and why? Details please.

There are many things I would like to address with this question , but I don’t think having a day would help. People have to unburden themselves of themselves and a single day or 2 wouldnt neither help couldn’t do that.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? (You have the capital for this one, don’ worry)

I have never been to a place that felt like home. NYC is my home by circumstances of my birth. I have spent a lot of time wandering through the city like a drunkard (See the answer to question 12) and so the following is applicable in a comical way:

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I’ll be completely sober. Meanwhile,
I’m like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off

6. What do you think of celebrity gossip?

In a way, the world we live in has been replaced by a copy world, where we seek simulated stimuli and nothing more. Essentially, fulfillment or happiness is found through simulation and imitation of a transient simulacrum of reality, rather than any interaction with any “real” reality. I look at celebrity news and gossip as an secondary messenger that gives me a window into our collective psyche, consciousness globally and culturally. In an of itself it is meaningless like rind in dry grass or rats feet over broken grass in our dry cellars as T.S Eliot says.

7. What’s the theme song of your day, week, year, or life?

I spoke French before English and the first songs I heard were all my parents french language records. If the walls of our one bedroom flat could talk it would be pause and sing this. See how giving I am I gave you a childhood memory, incomprehensible because it is written in an inaccesible language of promise and hope. Also its in french.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mO-6JQulfY

8. If you came with a warning label what would it be about?

Hmmm after much deliberation I have decided that the rules from the Movie Gremlins apply slightly tweaked:

1. Never expose to bullshit
2. Never get him wet (uhm I won’t further elaborate)
3. Most importantly: never feed after midnight (yeah Papi’s special night-time comida/medicina)

9. Favorite quote or joke that you made up?
This whole post is a joke as is life 🙂 , the apology is sincere though P’Zones are tasty despite the bout of flatulence post consumption

and you invented me
and I invented you
and that’s why we don’t
get along
on this bed
any longer.
-Charles Bukowski

As for quotes:”I never know what I’m going to say. I don’t plan it. When I’m outside the saying of it, I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.” (This is me using a piquant quote to deconstruct the ideas of quotes and me saying anything)

10. OCD?

no, not really

11. Best pick up line anyones’ ever fed ya?

Usually concerning ladies I do the feeding [pick up lines I guess] No one feeds MrMary pick up lines. Any ladies 18 or older are invited to do so. Hell I can make it a monthly recurring post for shits and giggles.

12. Tell us something embarrassing about your brain.

One day I was walking day-dreaming and then next second I remember coming to a few blocks down with a car honking and the driver cursing at me. I didnt remember walking there, I didn’t know where or who I was. I was groggy, the sounds of the city were amplified and deafening. It took a while for me to come to and remember I am (Real Name), I am from Brooklyn and that I have likes (Plinko on the Price is Right) and dislikes (taking medication of any sort). This happens often enough without drugs I have experimented unwillingly with altered states of conscious.

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