The Consequences of Improper Pronunciation, Method Acting, and Elephant Seals


If there is one thing I don’t want to be is type casted. It is one of the reasons why I  started this blog because on my other one I got type casted as someone who is serious, really intellectual etc (kind of sounds like an uptight cocksucker to me – which of course I am not). I dropped a couple of jokes there and some readers never recovered. It seems like Life too at the same time agrees with me on this and recently I had another opportunity to flesh out, literally in this case, a new role haphazardly as I returned to my shallow but dispersive method acting roots.

The Back Story

There was an odler gentleman who at some point in my life when I was a bit lost, brushed the dirt off me, offered me some advise and his friendship and sent me on my way. I have always been lucky to bump into the right people at the right time who really had an impact on me. He unfortunately is retiring and will be returning back to his native Norway and I would be able to visit him and his wife anymore. It’s kind of sad when someone who has helped you so much is still there for you but not really as we can go get some food together without my flying to Scandinavia.

A few people including myself who took the trip from NYC to Washington DC for  his retirement party. We’d be staying over one night and back on the road the next morning. This time I was well packed, I remembered everything I normally would bring. Of course I did not bring pajamas. Why would I remember to bring something that was meaningless to me. I never had a pair and always slept in calzoncillo or less. Because of my immigrant roots pajamas were not inclusive in our vocabulary/ ideology so the word of course had no meaning, not bit of reality behind it to back it up. – I mentioned this before here when I was a rhinoceros

Plot Twist

On a  prior trip to DC for work I realized I forgot to pack underwear. It was winter and I didnt want to freeball it, and also it was a solitary trip/conferences and I wanted to feel held and supported. I quickly stopped at the Neighborhood discount store, and got cheap generic “slighly defective underwear”. For some reason these underwear must have been designed by an eccentric European because they looked like bikini. As fate would have it, it was those sou-vetement(underwear)  I brought with me.

To make a long story short, party went well, many laughs and we ate joked it was wonderful up until the time when we had to sleep. Even some lone tearrs. A small group of men and women  of various ages slept in sleeping bags in the living room – men on one side with a divider and women on the other. After washing up I came into my side of the room and say that everyone really loves those Old Navy Seasonal/Holiday pajama bottoms. I came up with a simple solution to just take my pants off while in the sleeping bag and in the morning put them on and then go about my business.

Unfortunately I got stuck with a  sleeping bag that was too small for me. it was designed for someone built like a rail. So I said fuck it took my pants off and wore my sleeping bag like a cape.

Method Acting Wins again

I woke up before everyone and when I heard all the snores I thought I was safe. Little did I know that one older gentlemen  had gotten up already for his morning meditation.  He was situated behind me sitting on his sleeping bag and of course I didn’t see him. Unfortunately due to some weird stuff I sleep incredible deeply it takes a good 15 minutes for me to come to, yet I have had a few conversation while being asleep.

I got up was looking around trying to wake up and see where I was. As I was slowly coming too I turned around and was face to bikini face with my meditating older friend who for some reason meditates with his eyes open. I kind of blurted out OH SHIT like it was a Friday movie-  you see I was in defective bikini underwear and tube socks and there was a guys face near my crotch and I wasn’t fully cogniscent of where I was.

My expletive  startled him back into being present. I  smiled and said I didnt know he was there and got Startled. I  got dressed quickly and took off, it was the only way to preserve whatever dignity I had.

The car ride back

There was some silence between us as can be expected. Somehow a few days later upon seeing each other, we laughed about it and I was asked “why dont I wear pajamas?” I explained that I was part of an experimental theatre, and I was playing a male elephant seal which recently got influenza, and the the tightness and cut of the underwear was just to enhance that look

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