DoucheBaggery, Clean Colons and Being mean

I have come into contact lately with a new kind of douche-bag. The douchebaggery in these cases are quite insidious because of how it is articulated. I thought to share with you some observation of mine about the self proclaimed mystical douche-bag.

The Self-Proclaimed Mystical Douchebag

For some reason I have found that a lot of talk about spirituality is centered and focused on one’ colon. From the excessive lengths people go to “clean it out, make it happy, one would think that the colon was the seat of higher human aspirations. I met a few of these people recently who all fit the same mold, they have dread-locks but do not follow Rastafarianism, they have an Om Mani Padme Hum ring, but aren’t  practitioners of Tibetan Buddhism, and they call people “Brother” and or “sister”. The worst crime to these people is eating meat because it sullies one’s colon. Often times they have a borderline androgynous look to them. They are a billboard of compromise. Thousands of years of culture and spiritual aspiration all brought together in a motley collage of insanity.

Meat Is Murder

One of these freaks came up to me the other day, and told me that “Meat is Murder”. I told him I don’t agree because it depends on whose meat we are talking about and what are they doing with it. He did not like this answer of course.  I told him, to piss him off, that I may have murdered a few chicks with my meat (more like victory by decision to be honest) but I doubt that makes me any less spiritual than the next dude. I think that all that vegetarianism talk and bad hair is a polarized reaction that surreptitiously buries one in the social parameters of various traditions, not the essence.

I’m sure he felt offended by that meat comment/joke, because a few moments later he moved on and  he was more vehement in his declaration that meat is in fact murder. I hope he never ends up in a prison shower.

The reason this is a sore point for me

I have a dear friend whose significant other recently got taken into some mystical system, he has become overly fanatic about it, changes the way he looks, he talks and has slowly ostracized my friend. He is clearly using this mystical crap as an excuse to not address issues about his lack of commitment, and his overall fear at living and having things not go well.

I always find that rather than deal with problems (albeit psychological  or physical) head on some people tend to opt for systems where they can hide in and have everything neatly packaged and taken care of without doing any work on the self. It sucks to see my friend who is a really wholesome lady so sad  because of someones refusing to confront himself. The guy is a genuinely nice guy too, which is what makes this suck.

Words from my Grandfather

My Grandpere before dying told me to always stand on my own two feet and not to lean on anyone for anything be honest and always be sincere. He said its the hardest thing to do but eventually if I can do that I’ll be a man worth something.  I have always found someone engaged in the world who despite all the bullshit  who can treat people kindly is worth more than 100’s of self-righteous, sychophantic, self-proclaimed mystics. That’s not to say that real mystics don’t exist, but fools gold exist because there is the real thing.

Ok I’m done my ranting and being mean.



    • I have been to California a few times but only east los, oliveras market (I heard they closed that shit down) I spent time at union station just hanging out, and commerce too. Next trip to the west coast I am going to do it big!!!!


  1. Brilliant post.

    Meat is murder: Lettuce cries too. At least that’s what my high school chemistry teacher told me years ago.

    Great advice from your grandfather. I too have a wise grandfather and have learned a lot from him.


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