Getting Techniqued, Jean Baudrillard and Strip Clubs

At the heart of pornography is sexuality haunted by its own disappearance.
Jean Baudrillard


I never had an interest in strip clubs, mostly because the variegated terrain of my own mind is the premier den of iniquity, to me at least. Also it is a hustle that plays on many of the common ills of our times. When I went into the strip club, I found myself recalling some things from Jean Baudrillard I had read a bit ago and cataloged them in my mind so as to share with you later. All businesses which work and continue in time have a handle on marketing, on saying just the right things in tandem with a few acts to coax you into wanting something though you may not need it. The methods of coaxing used tells you a lot  and are fucking funny.

Strippers Love Asian Guys

Within a few minutes of entering my Asian friends were immediately accosted. I saw the technique, and it is an easy way to get your wallet stolen. If I was a pick pocket I would target strip clubs, first not many people will have the gumption to report the wallet being stolen at a strip club. Everyone is otherwise occupied and people are constantly brushing against you, but anyways..


The Technique:
The place is shaped like an oval with the drinks, and the dancing girls behind the bar. While you focus on the strippers, other women come from outside the periphery of vision, and immediately after a quick assessment will do an act and say some words. This works on getting suddenly close, a quick invasion of space. Normally any person with manners will move away and allow the person to pass esp in NYC where we all take crowded subways. But the part of the trick is not to let you increase the distance. For my friend a hand was put through his hair and something was whispered in his ear. That’s the trick, it works on the lack of security many guys have about their masculinity and the lack of attention at times from the females they secretly pine after.

Results: Each of my Asian friends got “techniqued” 3-4 times. My self and my Puerto Rican friend twice; when later on he asked me why was this so I said simply: They know niggaz ain’t got shit. Niggaz is broke – you know this man. Also we were nice at coat check, I took off my hat not to insult the ladies and we all said thank you, we didnt come with ones already. We were better dressed and fit, collar shirts etc. Not proper strip club attire of baggy pants with cut out pockets.

The Business of Low Esteem

There is no profound biological marker that indicated to a boy when he becomes a man in the same way as for a women on her special day in 5-6 grade where she has to take that solitary journey to the nurse which if you went to catholic school in the 80’s was an old women who has probably been alive since the inquisition, and who’s very words speak of chthonic decrepitude. Nowadays I kind of feel a lot of dudes suffer from low-self esteem especially in terms of their masculinity. I think this is why the women at the strip club start with a compliment or a question followed by seemingly innocent physical contact. The greater the dream, and need to escape into the fictitious  the more dollars are spent.

Seduction is always more singular and sublime than sex and it commands the higher price.
Jean Baudrillard


Judging by how painfully we got frisked, and the metal detectors things can get crazy in a strip club. I dont like dudes touching around my inner thigh, it was way to close. If was was wearing boxers I would have been violated.

It’s better to have your back against a wall with a direct view of a window, let likely to get jumped from behind or be forced into a fight, you can pick your spots if you must.

Unless your down for getting techniqued then initiate eye contact, a decent amount of sarcasm works wonders if you want to be left alone, there is money to be made and no one will waste time in witty banter with you,

Use hand sanitizer, seriously it’s disgusting and real. However If you like making it rain on those ho’s to help their college fund by all means do so don’t let my nonsense stop ya.

How I avoided getting ‘Techniqued’

Episode 1:
(Flanked from the left hand put on chest tip of the nose on the ear and the conversation:
look straight ahead bent my head to left side

Do you work out a lot where you’re from
MrMary: Enough..
Seems like a lot…did you come here for a good time
MrMary:…I heard this was the place [set the bait]
What are you looking for, exactly [she took the bait]
MrMary: A lime with my Corona, excuse me Miss  – 

Episode 2:

(flanked from the right, her left arm across my shoulders

MrMary: Hey you, what brings you to these parts
MrMary: Is that so?
MrMary: That’s too bad, my friend over there is getting married
But what about you, you’re allowed to have a good time too
MrMary: You couldn’t handle my good time … friend is right there…

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