The Meat Handler, The Joke only Men Get, and Giving you insight into Relationships free (1) of Charge.


The Picture that started it all

There was a recent debate on relationships on a friends Facebook page. I only participated to be a nuisance and interject foul obnoxious comment. I imagine that everyone knows what they are signing up for when they accept me on Facebook.  So I am going to present some of my observations along with a plethora of inappropriate comments and jokes  in my usual random salacious, rapscallion approach.

Key Point Between Men and Women

I often like to start on an immutable fact and begin my slow descent down into moral somnolence. I guess in that case in a way Im like a priest and fortunately so I am about to exercise some social demons, without impinging on your privacy literally and figuratively.

When a girl becomes a women  there is a physiological event that takes place. Men on the other hand have no real event that  necessarily distinguishes that they have made that journey into manhood. This is why in some societies, when a man came of age there was a test of manhood he would have  to accomplish, if anyone is academically inclined I would recommend look at Aboriginal Male initial rites , fascinating. Nowadays there is no such thing, and if you life in a city, you see bunches and gangs of boys acting stupid and juvenile. Today’s youth in particular the male don’t have an easy transition into adulthood, and many ladies reading I am sure can attest to this. We tend to form posses and groups. Its kind of life a pack of wolves in many ways

Subway Sammiches

To give you an example I will post a conversation I had with some male friends/acquaintances of mine over lunch I removed as many profanities as possible without fucking up the mutha-fucking flow of the conversation

Me: Yo… Wassup playboy, what’s happening ?
Homey1: Same shit fucker
Homey2: What’s the matter you don’t look right?
Homey1: Check this, I was on line at Subway
Homey2: Yo Why didn’t ya tell me, had to get this cafeteria shit
Me: MuthaFucker‘s too good to call people
Homey1: Fuck the both a yooze (I love that over the top NY accent)
(laughter…)… Yeah man I was at subway and the line was long, and so that girl
Me: The one you were telling me about, yeah
Homey2: What special about this one,
Homey1: She works at Subway?!?!
Homey 2: You mean for food on the side
Homey1: Nah stupid, lemme finish
She take my order and then turns around and says “Grande” and makes a hand gesture
Homey2: Shit man What did you do, I said back in Spanish, “Depends when you catch me”
Me: You fucking stupid man …… What she say ?
Homey1: She was actually talking to an older Hispanic lady who comes in with her grandson
(deafening laughter) she was right behind me but I didn’t see her
Homey 2: Why do you like this chick so much ? aside from the fact that as a sandwich professional she has meet handling experience
Me: yeah muthafucka You’re like drooling every time she puts the meat in ya sammich, I see that shit,
Homey1: Am not fucker
Me: Bullshit you never know what to say when she say “toasted?”
Homey1: Man Fuck you
Homey2: But even if she were to go out with you? Where would you take her she already works at subway
Homey1: Man fuck you,
Me: Maybe Quiznos it’s like the other side of sammiches, a more salacious side of meat stuff, Like Cirque Du Soleil‘s Zumanity
Homey1: Shut the fuck up, salacious who the fuck says that
Me: Im guessing you’re going to go to Red Lobster she is a special lady, huhn hit her with the chedda biscuits…
Homey1: <awful hand gesture> Anyways… She laughed tho
Homey2: Yeah?!?!?! – that’s good man
Homey1: Yeah man but abuelita wasn’t too happy but her grandson was cracking up

What can we learn from the Conversation

Many of the guys I knew, and rolled with at various parts of my life either didnt have a steady father or the topics of sex were never broached. According to Joseph Campbell one of the fucntions of myth “the validation and maintenance of an established order.” but not so much in the Orwellian or other weird methods we are familiar with of maintaining social order. I’ll give you a personal example

I found myself in India, and I was a precocious lad of 15 and I asked one of the people I  had befriend there why the statues sometimes had   figures of lovers  in all sorts of embraces. (Non penetrating first date embraces) He told me that everything in life can be sacred, even sex. He said the images are a study of how we find fruition in each other. A women needs a man to recognize her for what she really is beyond her body and physical assets – a woman is always pure and holy she is sacred because of her ability to carry life, a man becomes distinguished in his acts in how he carries himself, in his experiences in loss.

This conversation continued for a bit. It really helped me later on in life. No dirty joke here. When I came back from that trip Iw as centered. I didn’t see things to be as pointless as before. It made me want to go to church. I never went much and was never religious, but I wanted to see what images we project in our social institution of religion.  The first image I saw when I went inside  was of this beaten man tortured on a cross. There was no focus on the sanctity of life, because in many ways it was only through death that life hand any meaning. Anyways sorry for my tangential armchair anthropology.

Continuing onward

Unfortunately from a young age many many children as I reported in an earlier post are exposed to pornography especially of course young men, because FOX News doesn’t give  you everything you need to know. You imagine from the age of onwards one’s mind is assailed with pornographic images. There has to be an outlet for it  aside from the imagination, and socially there isn’t. So all of it comes out in comfortable places  for guys: barber shop, local bar, etc sporting events. So much of the human experience is playing 0

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This is a good place to stop, if i gave it all up now, you wouldn’t respect me in the morning:-) stayed tuned for part 2

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