Birthday Card Money, Ancient Greece, A True Story & my new 2 Week Crush


Disclaimer: is a someone’s personal story that i have distorted to protect their identity. All the events are real but the name and places have been changed
 
Blogger of the HowToDateBoys Blog & my new secret crush for the next two weeks

I was inspired by a post called “Sexy Videos”  on the blog of my new secret crush the elegant, callipygian, late 20’s something, lady who authors the blog the HowtoDateBoys  blog. I will wait for you to google callipygian (tangentmy parents who were immigrants to this great nation used to make me study the dictionary. To make it fun I learned many obscure words to describe things. My parents never got the jokes about Lady Godiva on the horse and why they named  chocolate after her but-their loss)

Anyways I was sitting down with my lady at a table being silly and trying to make her laugh and have whatever she is drinking go through her nose. When nothing was working I decided to hit her with my latest  rant about how I was going to send in some gratuitous nude pictures of myself for a job to work in a nursing home – that way I figured I would be helping out grandchildren everywhere – their birthday cards would have bigger bills as Grandma would spend all her loose change and ones on me.

Not a laugh!  She in fact was ignoring me for some secret offense I had committed at some time long lost to the annals of history. She had saved her anger and resentment to assault me on my one day off, when I shaved, and put on my best Im with stupid T-shirt to go out on the twon with her.

I decided to have the last laugh and send her  some gratuitously nude  5 sec video. Vengence is a dish to be served cold so I waited 2 week till she was online at McDonald’s, and texted me to ask what I wanted. I added the video to the  my answer “a double digit number meal” for the sake of irony I guess.

Needless to say the prank worked and while laughing at the top of the line a cashier or the person waiting to the left might have been inadvertantly flashed but not in a way I could be arrested for public nudity or lewdness.

The Bad part of this story

Weeks later I was standing on the corner and got a message my phone was out of memory having forgotten what was on my phone I was going through the phone deleting pictures until I came to the video. The lighting was awful, and in retrospect I didn’t think I put my best foot forward, this was before the days when manscaping & hello Kitty Shaped merkin became the rage as they are today.

Staying on the corner looking at phallus hasn’t been popular since the days of ancient Greece. I didn’t notice until a man standing next to me sad: “Nice!” with a lisp I at first thought he was  talking to someone else, but alas we were the only two on the corner , so i ran

“The Horror , the horror” – Kurtz

I guess in the end the joke was on me. The video was promptly deleted and I passed by a church for some saving grace.

#True Story!!! #WINNING

 

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2 comments

  1. BAHAHAHA! Amazing!!!

    And this is what happens when you put yourself on film…no matter how careful you are, someone (other than the intended) ends up seeing it.

    Also, I like that the guy had a lisp…so, in fact, he said “nithe!”

    Love always,
    Your secret crush for the next two weeks

    Like

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