When Politics Mirrors Real Life: Solving Race Relations In the US

This is probably the least sarcastic ans satirical post of mine. If you would like skip to the end for a reality TV show inspired by Former NBA stars Shaq and Dikembe Mutumbo.

Black America’s most prosperous community, Black Wall Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma, went up in flames June 1, 1921, in the KKK-led Tulsa Race Riot. According to Wikipedia, “During the 16 hours of the assault, over 800 people were admitted to local hospitals with injuries, an estimated 10,000 were left homeless, and 35 city blocks composed of 1,256 residences were destroyed by fire caused by bombing.”

We all know about Black Wall Street, as a white man who became black  in the last few years suffering from revitaligo the imaginary disease where all of a sudden each year your credit score drops lower and lower as you skin gets darker I had to learn about it because I got tired of booty, ho’s and basketball at the local barbershop

Black Wallstreet, the name fittingly given to one of the most affluent all-black communities in America. One June 1st 1921 it was was bombed from the air and burned to the ground by mobs of envious whites. In a period spanning fewer than 12 hours, a once thriving 36-black business district in northern Tulsa lay smoldering. The night’s carnage left some 3,000 African Americans dead, and over 600 successful businesses lost.

Now the same thing is happening, a black family in many ways like the Jefferson has moved on up to a good neighborhood, and now finally up in the big leagues, they are preparing for the aerial assault from some angry white people hell bent on taking their community. I’m talking about Obama and the GOP Candidates. Obviously I’m being a little facetious as black and white get along swimmingly look at the LA Lakers or The White Police officer who was caught planting drugs in a black mans car. In the officers defense he was going to smoke that crack later on after shift.

The Simpler Days

As fires set by white rioters raged, claiming all they held dear, Black men who fought back to protect their families, homes and businesses were arrested and killed. There were outnumbered 10 to one. Here, a white man with a shotgun guards the body of a Black man and several prisoners outside Tulsa’s Convention Hall.

I agree with the GOP America needs to return back to the simpler days when it could but decent law abiding Japanese citizens in Enternment Camps, or bomb successful Black neighborhood, lynch a few people who rubbed you the wrong way. Now we do that to foreigners which make less noise in English at least, if its not in English it doesn’t count, case in point Abu Grahib

Unlike in Tulsa the only bombs the Obamas have to worry about is the one that comes through the media airways, simply just statements, harmless words that can never hurt anyone in the long run:

Funny Harmless Statements

Rick Santorum “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money, I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.”

Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich said Thursday he is willing to go before the NAACP and urge blacks to demand paychecks, not food stamps. If the NAACP invites him to its annual convention this year, he’d go there and talk about “why the African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps.”

 “Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works,” Gingrich said recently during a campaign stop in Iowa. “So they literally have no habit of showing up on Monday. They have no habit of staying all day. They have no habit of ‘I do this and you give me cash,’ unless it’s illegal.”

How to Solve the Race Problem

Obviously open debate about some unsavory parts of american history is not really going to happen. We are not really country that is open to debate, education or appreciation of disagreement. The Russians on Dec 29th have said the following:

Russia’s Foreign Ministry has attacked America’s human rights record in its first report on injustice elsewhere in the world, offering examples such as the Guantanamo Bay prison and wrongful death row convictions to paint the U.S. as hypocritical for lecturing other nations on the subject of rights. ‘The situation in the United States is a far cry from the ideals that Washington proclaims,’ says the newly-released report. The Russian as everyone knows are nihilistic , fatalistic, hypocritical, bigoted and probably right.

But we do like explosions, scantily clad women, suggestive sexual innuendo so my First idea:

Solution 1: Government funded Interracial Orgies.

The next generation being part mixed will find it hard to hate on the their parentage. Also they will be forced to find other ways to discriminate against each other like money, clothing, age, religion, sexual orientation. It turns. This might be a nice way to encourage investment in healthcare, BET, UPN programming, and soul food, better happy meals. Sort of what colonialization is and was.

Solution 2: Return to Former Sterilization Practices

America already has historical the means to practice sterilizing large groups of people. If we sterile a 15-20%  of each population here, along with the pollution rates, cancer rates, drunk driving rates, diabetes and heart disease, there wont be many of us left and we will have to resort to working together or eating each other to survive. Then there will be true equality, meat is meat.

African American have always been staggerinly overrepresented in the ranks of the sterilized. When the North Carolina Eugenics Commission sterilized 8,000  mentally retarded persons throughout the 1930’s 5000 were black. By 1983 when blacks constituted only 12%  of the population, 43% of the women sterilized in federal funding family planning were African Americans.

This has been achieved under the ausopices of a governemnt fed by the myth of the lazy hyperfertile welfare mother. Say welfare mother and most people think of an unemploted black women, yet most woment on welfare are not black. A 1990 survery revelated that 78% of whites think black prefer welfare to emplotyment. But most black women aer employed full time and hold at least one job, and women on welfare are likely to be emplyed part-time at low wage-wage jobs with few if any benefits.

Solution 3: Rich Black, Hispanic, Asian Middle Eastern Celebrities should adopt a lot of white Babies

Who wouldn’t want to see the following:

1. Shaquille O’Neal Presents: My White Babies and their Crunch Bar? 
2. Dikembe Mutumbo teaches Suburban Kids how to dunk and talk incoherently

Great for reality Television Programming!!!

Conclusion

Ultimately I would prefer the orgiastic bacchanalian excess choice of Government Funded Orgies. I would never shake anyone’s hand but  people may be a bit calmer and more fashion forward.

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