Uncle Tom’s Fairy Tales – 5/12 Things About Me that May or May not be True

I am guessing that  you may want to read the first part of this series, if not that is fine, I don’t mind you being a douche. Let’s get right into it.

Prize Money Opportunity

If you can guess why I called this Uncle Tom’s Fairy Tales  I will give you $50 in monopoly money or get you some pizza on me if you are ever in NYC. Provided you want to eat with me or be seen in public with a sufferer of Revitaligo who is site specifically foul mouthed.


 5. I have a fire raging within that’s not Gonorrhea

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. Eddie Cantor

Though having an insatiable love for the ladies, I settled down early with a lovely woman. I work two to three jobs. I cook amazing dinners for her and of course  I am dying inside, slowly everyday. Its like a slow cancer that rendered to my eyes at least the both of us over the course of time unrecognizable. we each in the end become neutered amorphous shaped androgynous looking being waiting to meet our Maker to demand justice.

If I am ever single again I am going to pull a General Sherman and burn path through vag-dom leaving nothing standing in my wake.  I intend to make Georgia howl. Hopefully Georgia is her actual name

Pertinent Lyrics:

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said we are all just prisoners here, of our own device
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

4. I am a voracious Reader and some random shit

OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I read a lot of books a lot a lot of books despite being  aesthetically pleasing and athletic. Back in the day from looking at me  you would imagine that I couldn’t pass a urine test  but that wasn’t the case. I have trouble sleeping and I got into power-lifting to tire myself out so I can sleep. I used to look like a carved greek statue but now I look like this guy

3. I am not a fan of…..

I really don’t like small talk. I don’t like people who are overly positive. I don’t like wearing much of clothing while at home, I am not a fan of following rules, I am not a fan of authority, I am not a fan of being lectured, I’m not a fan of KY tingling or warming, I don’t like people who mistreat animals, I don’t like people who can dish it out but cant take it, I don’t like people with no sense of humor, I don’t like people who care so much about what others think to the extent that they are too paralyzed with fear to live a little. I can’t stand misbehaved kids, I don’t like people who are lukewarm without any passions

2. I am private but without Shame at the same time

I am very very very private about what goes on in my life.  I don’t like having bullshit acquaintances. I like having a few close friends.  If you can stand my crazy personality and are my friend you will be set for life. Around the people I am close to I don’t tone anything down and am 100% as bad as I wanna be. Life is too short !  I try to be as responsible as possible to the people who depend on me and my duties as brother, son,  friend man of the house etc, but I live in the moment, I do everything with passion and have dessert first before dinner!!!

1. I give this one to you. If you leave a question as a comment I will answer it. 





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