Kim Kardashian, Prurient Ingurgitation and the New Face of Social Mobility

Until the time where poverty, famine, riots and new diseases are laying waste to American society and I have to move to Canada for a better life, my patriotism is second-to-none. My patriotism has been built on the indestructible bedrock of moral laissez-faire and mass ignorance. As I meander through the bleak landscape that is modern life, I have found myself almost obsessed with Kim Kardasian. If I had to quantify it, I care about her as much as the Turkish government did about the Armenians but less than Roman Polanski did for Samantha Gemier. It was from that space of meaningless concern, that I came to realize how  Kim Kardashian is living proof’s of the  USA‘s greatness.

The New Face Of Social Mobility

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

If you grew up in America, you would know that contrary popular belief, while Americans established in the country for a generation or two viewed the incoming waves of immigrants as wretched refuse, these intrepid new-comers were actually subjected to a fair, non-violent, non-racially charged society. Unfortunately though, you’d also be a victim of a massive disinformation campaign that set itself upon the fresh mind of America’s eager school children with a ferocity only equaled to that of the Catholic priests had for their various orifices. Ah bowdlerized history!

What that means then provided that you swallowed the narrative we’ve been seduced into believing is that success in this country is all about working hard. Its a level playing field and if you do not get where you wanted to be in your life you have only your self and the African Americans to blame for all your social ills. Upward mobility despite what studies say is as easy as swallowing. Therein lies the beauty of Kim Kardashian.

We can all agree that the callipygian Ms. Kardashian under certain lights, can be quite stunning. But she has more to offer us than her assets. Why figuratively  stop 2 minutes into 5 minute of pure video-taped scurrilousness ? Let me break down her message, which is the best thing from here I’ve seen so far. Swallowing is something we are born instinctively knowing how to do. Why do young girls who fall in the range of being passably to extremely attractive have to go to school or make something of themselves when they can swallow ? Bottom-line if enough male dominated industries get behind this idea not  a whole lot of money will can be saves since there wont be swallowing internship for college students or on training programs for those looking to change careers.

The New Face of American Social Mobility

What I am driving at is that this picture to the left is the new face of Social Mobility in  America. It is pixilated, sexually suggestive, pleonastically littered with bodily fluids, illegal for children under the age of 18 to see, responsible for growing hair on the palms of pubescent boys and is entirely useless in discussions of debt management, fiscal planing, education and healthcare.

A singular act of  selfless throat clogging, or prurient ingurgitation as I like to call it, recorded on video without intent to sell (though with oddly enough a matching soundtrack and commentary) has propelled  Ms Kim Kardashian into the heart of many Americans. Unfortunately due to our already high levels of obesity and collective levels of plaque deposit she is killing us faster than we’ve been trying to kill ourselves.

But there is silver lining to this horrible stain on America’s freshly ironed moral uniform(depending on the camera angle). Those of you with young daughters, don’t have much to explain.  Hard work, self-respect  is  unnecessary. Its much more profitable to be treated as a mere object. Submitting to the  immoral excesses of the right person is all one needs to succeed in life. Forget that positive healthy self-image.

Thanks to Ms Kardashian we can be sure that our children and grand children will know the exact moment when the society they inherited gained too much momentum to be stopped from sliding into complete disrepair. Luckily they can ease their pain watching Dr. Quinn Medicine woman, that what I do when things are hopeless.

So here is to Kim Kardashian! You have proved how great our country is. By debasing yourself to appeal to the lowest common denominator, you have succeeded in bringing out the bestin us without even having to swallow – your pride that is.


  1. “Submitting to the immoral excesses of the right person is all one needs to succeed in life” – submitting to the immoral excesses of another is, I suppose, submitting to one’s own inner excesses.

    Kim Kardashian is product, a cause of an effect of a cause. We should in fact thank her, as you so genuinely do, for giving us an opportunity to see our own selves, to face the refuse within our own selves, the wretcheds – and there are so many selves selling themselves to consume more, to buy more refuse which is time. It’s funny, we sell our selves to buy more time but we never use the time we have, we are never present now, we have missed now and so we feel we must buy the next moment so that we may escape from the moment we want to buy back for reasons of having missed it. hahaha But Miss Kardashian is probably as unaware of these selves as most of us are unaware of them, and her existence as a ‘happening’ which unfolds helplessly, a history of ripples causing a history rippled effects which makes it much “more profitable to be treated as a mere object”.

    Going back to the the first line of this reply, one’s de-education must begin with the meaning of ‘success’, ‘profit’, ‘value’, ‘wealth’, etc…which have nothing whatsoever to do with morality, with good or bad, or with one woman’s unconscious addition to the collective ‘stain’ which is bound by the cycle of inheritence itself.

    Yes, thank you K.K. And thank you Mary for remembering to thank Kim.


    • You are the only person who I am not paying that gets me. My therapist is such a faker. There is a line from someone famous in the past that says everything is a mirror. I often look at the stories and news we focus on as a means to see how the nation sees itself and how I am looking at things.

      The attention we give Ms Kardashian is a barometer or some sort of indicator of our own state. Though I make fun of her , it is only to point to something else. All satire and sarcasm must start with a sincere taking of oneself to task.

      A unlearning is necessary first quite often for real learning to happen or so thats why my therapist tells me.


      • Yes, as JK often said, “I am the world, the world is me”. There is no ‘other’ to blame as such. Kim is a reflection, and a tame one at that hahaha

        Therapists can be helfpul in some ways, but I have realized after many years of such therapies that bandaids (even knee-sized waterproof neosporin laden bandaids) don’t do very well with gushers. And that’s what we are, gushers, emotionally driven, mood driven, compulsive, impulsive, indulgent…we are escapists and the bandaid is supposed to do what? Keep the gusher from gushing all over the place? hahaha

        Now I am using your kind of imagery and language. You see what happens? When you speak to me you are slightly more soft spoken than the typical tone of your blog, and when I speak to you I am slightly more brazen than the typical tone of mine. I wonder, what does this say? hahahaha


      • Yes, I know. She is a sad sad commentary on the state of America today – how superficial people with absolutely no talent can become so huge.

        I’m OK. Pretty busy with work, but a little under the weather. Think I have the writing juices going now…at least for the next two posts or so. Aren’t you up a bit late, though? 😉


      • I don’t know what it is but something up with America. I think its sick there is a lot that’s wrong and everyone seems happy to be willfully ignorant

        yeah I am a nite owl, I’m writing a lot of things, business plan, a novel, blog posts for this and another blog and endless projects little projects.

        I hope you feel better it sucks to be under the weather


  2. This design is wicked! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my
    own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job.

    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!


  3. Now, see, I tend to think of celebrities such as her in the same way certain Native American tribes used their “bad” Kachinas to show children how NOT to act. For every Elliot Spitzer, Paula Deen, and yes…our dear Kardashians…there is one more child who *just might* think to themselves “Wow, I never want to be that stupid when I grow up!”

    Or at least that’s how I used to see them. Then I got smarter, and got rid of my cable service while simultaneously getting a membership card to Barnes & Noble… 🙂


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