David Foster Wallace on Ambition


Saw This on Huffington post and had to share. These digital videos are pretty amazing

David Foster Wallace gave many interviews, but none have looked as beautiful as Blank on Blank’s animation based on the interview he gave to Leonard Lopate in 1996 on New York’s NPR station WNYC. Blank on Blank is a nonprofit whose mission is to “curate and transform journalists’ unheard interviews with icons, bringing them to life on radio, mobile apps, YouTube, and beyond.” The video was produced in collaboration with PBS Digital Studios.

 

 

Jocular Look @ Today’s New Video Edition || A beaver and a boy make a friendly connection at the zoo


imagesThere are so many good things going on in 20 seconds in this video. A chubby, bubbly beaver, an adorable little kid waving at him and the non-stop laughter of the woman behind the camera. Listen to this video with your eyes closed — it’s almost as cute! Anyone who’s gone to the zoo with a kid knows they try to create a little personal relationship with any species they can. How cute that this kid got his wave returned by a friendly little critter who took time out from his busy day to play. Beavers: Sometimes they do give a dam.

MrMary Weigh In Video-Style

shout out to my girl Alice for giving me the idea to do this

Exclusive - Katie Holmes And Suri Cruise Get Home From School

Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Katie Holmes’ Leggings Come Out In The Rain


We don’t have much in common with Katie Holmes (but what we would do for those cheekbones…). But we and Katie all had the same idea on Wednesday when we awoke to a very cold, very rainy New York City morning: comfort is key.

We at HuffPost Style chose to combat the chill with oversized sweaters, but Katie went bold with the ever controversial leggings-as-pants. The working mom was seen dropping lil’ Suri off at her fancy new school, Avenues (read all about it here) this morning, with Suri looking cute as a button in her preppy uniform.

MrMary Weighs IN

Yeah ladies of the world you don’t have much in common with Katie Holmes. Let’s see:

  1. She is divorced married a man who some say is a closeted homosexual ,
  2. She won custody of the kid, dude like other kids with some other lady
  3. You live in the city prolly because your ex is still giving you some money and no matter how much it is it is never enough,
  4. You’re wondering when did life fucking pass you by and why you’re at the same level of success professionally as James Van der Beek even though you were in a the first part of a Trilogy with Christian Bale, Christopher Nolan, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine
  5. You’re probably looking to get bagged but not have anyone know about it.
  6. When you get excited you get moist in the middle like a hostess cup cake that’s fallen into a chum bucket at a bait and tackle store out in the sun
  7. You like playing Beyonce’s  All the Singles Ladies song because you want to try and recapture what it felt like to be relevant

Ladies and Gentleman – this describes  with the exception of the batman movie 85-90% of the women I know. Like for everyone else comfort is key but she can go to greater lengths to get it. Let me give u an example: it cold in my house I put on some pants BOOM done. I want more from live and feel horribly trapped by the system  and kind of feel disenfranchised in the society I find myself if –  I get a six-pack of  beer and hope for a quiet death that ends with a “whimper and not a bang”. She gets cold she can fly right now with no luggage or reservation of any sort to a warmer country

Concluding

Leggings as pants isn’t bold and isn’t controversial any more than me drawing a happy face with a fro-hawk neck tatoo on me penis with my lady‘s plum red lipstick before I went to work. Btw how many shades of red are there when it comes to lipstick for fucks sake one time I was in a pharmacy for 10 minute helping my lady chose between reds,  they have every red imaginable except dog dick red :-)

Ok snark aside I get it. It’s an election year and there are all these other serious articles surfacing and its nice to just relax into  a mild catatonic state of diminished mental activity. I’m just a bit of a curmudgeon and seem to think that news like this is given to us on purpose to atrophy our sense of self and socio-cultural awareness

 

Promised Land Year 2005 Director Amos Gitai

Jocular Look @ Today’s News: German Teen Sells Mom’s Jewels For Brothel Visit


BERLIN (Reuters) – A 14-year-old German teenager took his mother’s jewellery worth between 2,000 and 3,000 euros ($2,500-$3,800) and pawned it for 300 euros ($380) to finance two trips to a brothel for himself and a friend, German police said on Wednesday. Karlsruhe police spokesman Ralf Minet said the teenager’s mother is pressing charges of theft against her son, who admitted he pawned the jewellery to pay for the prostitutes.

MrMary Weighs In

Nice Idea bad execution. The kid at 14 has the where with-all to know that he has to “pay” in some way shape or form for pleasure. His execution is totally off in part because of his bad business savy

He should have accepted no less than $1000. That way if all went bad he could pay friends to make it look like the mom’s apartment  was a robbed or got burgled (unlike the prostitutes he visited). But the point that everyone is missing here is that he paid for a friend to get some too. Thats real altruism, everyone knows that a guy that would burgle his mom for brothel pussy is a true wingman and a true friend, until he steal some of my shit to get his shit tossed, then I will  kick that fool in the throat like we was never cool.

Yeah

MrMary

 

 

Jocular Look @ Todays News || Nefarious Dude Puts Dealing Pot on his Resume


A résumé is all about showcasing your skills and abilities … however, it does help to stick to skills and abilities that are legal. Redditor claaps posted a résumé his cousin had received that outlined one hopeful candidate’s experience as a “Marijuana Dealer and Nefarious Dude.” Apparently, he (we’re guessing it’s a he and not a Lebowksi fan girl) was good enough to hold this position for five years — from 1999 to 2004. It’s a nice bookend to an otherwise legit résumé full of telecom and graphic design work. But we’re guessing this prospective employer will be a little hung up on that last part and try to keep their place a business that’s proudly nefarious dude free.

Taken from here

MrMary Weighs In

Honesty is definitely not the best policy. I knew a lot of dude who sold drugs on the side low level stuff like marijuana. One of my friends is from came here young and owes no college loans and is a big time CEO. Should I remind you of Mr Jeff Henderson ?

Jeff Henderson wasn’t just a crack cocaine dealer, he was the best crack cocaine dealer of his era. In 1980s San Diego, Henderson was known for his Mercedes convertible, his Rolex and his straight-from-Rodeo-Drive fashion, as well as for having the best product, the best connections and a money-back guarantee. He was making up to $35,000 a week. Henderson transformed the local drug industry by bringing in elements of entrepreneurship. In turn, after a 5-year run selling crack, a 1988 arrest and a 9-year stint in prison, his drug dealing experience prepared him to become a successful entrepreneur. “The same traits that a successful drug dealer has are the same traits any legitimate entrepreneur has,” Henderson said. “You have a product, you have a marketing plan, you have a vision, you build relationships. You outsmart, out-strategize the competition.”

You can read the rest of the article on Jeff here .  But my Favorite part of the  interview:

I was in federal prison with Wall Street business moguls, hedge fund guys. As I got exposure to these people, I started to think big. There was a Wall Street guy in prison who I became cool with, and he said, “Jeff you’re a smart guy.” No one ever told me I was smart. He said, “When you were on the street, you had all the traits of success and all the principles of a legitimate businessman. You just had a bad product.”

Do you see anything wrong with that ?

Conclusion

At the top of the resume, the applicant wrote “I cannot compete with college degrees and fancy credentials, on paper at least. I’ve decided to highlight the best of what I do have to offer…” That just happens to include “a deep understanding of supply and demand economics,” the resume notes. That’s the American dream at work. I’d interview the guy at least !

Would you interview him ?

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Natural, un-enhanced womens breasts in a red satin bra with black lace edging and diamond detail

Jocular Look @ Today’s News: I’m angered by Susan G. Komen rejecting money raised by a porn site


 

It doesn’t matter if you’re into itty-bitty-titties, the perfect handful, jumbo fun-bags or low-swinging flapjacks, what matters most is that your kind and selfless gesture will go a long way towards helping our sisters to find a cure.

___________________

Help Pornhub ‘Save the Boobs’ by watching tons of porn

It’s no pink handgun, but the latest breast cancer research fundraising venture to show up in our inboxes is almost as bizarre. Pornhub.com, a free online adult entertainment website, has announced that it will be donating a portion of its October revenue to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. The Cut reported that Pornhub.com will be giving the foundation one cent for every 30 views of it’s breast-related videos (specifically its “Big Tits” and “Small Tits” clips) through October 31st in support of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. According to a press release:

It doesn’t matter if you’re into itty-bitty-titties, the perfect handful, jumbo fun-bags or low-swinging flapjacks, what matters most is that your kind and selfless gesture will go a long way towards helping our sisters to find a cure. 

Simply visit the landing page on Pornhub’s site (link available upon request) and follow the prompts, or head to the ‘categories’ tab on Pornhub.com’s home page and choose either “Small Tits” or “Big Tits” videos, then sit back and let the good times bounce.

UPDATE: 10/4 2:29 p.m.Pornhub.com released a statement Thursday afternoon indicating that they will no longer be donating a portion of their October revenue to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

UPDATE: 10/4 3:16 p.m.A Komen spokesperson responded via email to The Huffington Post‘s request for comment, stating: “Susan G. Komen for the Cure is not a partner of pornhub.com. We will not accept donations from this organization and have asked them to stop using our name.”

MrMary Goes In Deep, on the issues

Race for the Cure Logo

I guess its not that much of a Race

The Susan G. Komen foundation has rejected donation from popular porn site PornHub which is just an indication that they do not think breast cancer is a serious issue. I remember one period in my life where all I had to eat for a week was 5 slices of bread, i was so hungry at the end of that week that I would have gladly eaten all he food I hated to eat. Actually at that moment of my life, I didn’t have a winter coat and my shoes had many holes. I think I died a few times when I had to walk 60 blocks in the snow and wind to pick up my lady. If pornhub had given me a sammich or just actually a kind word I would have taken it without hesitation.

A friend of mine lost his mom to breast cancer. I knew her well. She would  laugh at my jokes she was a beautiful lady. If I lost my mom to breast cancer or my sister, or even if I heard that an ex-gf had succumbed to that I would be devastated. I find not accepting this money to be hypocritical. I mean non of us are saints and everyone has seen porn at one point or another.  No one is a moral authority or example. We have all done some shitty things in life. This is money that can be used to help others, to give some kid in the future maybe a month or two more with his dying mom. It might even in the future allow s child an opportunity to grow up with his mother/ That is something meaningful.

The Silver Lining

There are two journalistic rules I always abide by though I am effectively not a journalist. They are :
  1. A journalist is only as good as his sources 
  2. Verification before dissemination.  

So I went to porn hub myself and found they are still raising Money for Breast Cancer. They are just not giving it to the Susan Komen foundation.So please do your part, literally to support the effort like some readers have already vowed to do:

  • as long as i’m helping fight breast cancer…..
  • well, if it’ll help further cancer research…i guess i can watch a little…
  • This is a revolution I can get behind!
  • Well, you all know that I really dont ‘want’ to watch naked breasts all day.  But I suppose I will if it helps, uhm. whatever it was it’s supposed to help.  I’ll figure that out later.   I’m off to save the boobies by staring at them all day.Sigh.  The things I do to help the world.

 

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Sesame Street Gets Ready to Lay the Smack down on Mit Romney


Romney had one of his most memorable moments of the first presidential debate  when he vowed to cut the federal subsidy to public broadcasting. “I’m sorry Jim, I’m gonna stop the subsidy to PBS,” he told moderator Jim Lehrer, who has worked for PBS since the 1970s. “I like PBS, I love Big Bird, I actually like you too, but I’m going to stop borrowing money from China to pay for things we don’t need.”

The One thing You Don’t  Do

I don’t mind the arrogance the hubris and the flip flopping, but you threatened Big Bird?  He is an American treasure, he has done more for the children than anyone except that creepy Fred Rogers Dude, I had nightmares where he would make the various characters on the show enter his BDSM closet and take it deep like that little trolley did when it went into the tunell and uhm .. well… back to what I was sayingI can overlook all that  and forget about the fact that from the mid-1800s until 1978, Mormons had a policy against ordaining black men to the church’s lay priesthood resulting in black members being unable to participate in some temple ordinances considered necessary for salvation or how black people have the mark of Cain and all that.

But you did something that no one should ever do…. You made LeVar Burton Angry, yeah the Reading Rainbow Guy

LeVar Burton furious over Romney’s attack on PBS

LeVar Burton (Helga Esteb _ Shutterstock.com)

Don’t Make me Angry Mr Romney, you wouldn’t like me when I’m Angry …. but you don’t have to take my word for it…..(cue soundbyte)

 See What you done Started

I finally figured out how to get to Sesame Street (some bum told me) and those cats have already made two beef records to let Mitt and his Stepford Wife Ann know whats up. I am in frequent contact with Elmo and will be sharing up to the minute news with you.

Beef Records

” We knew that that Bitch ass Mitt didn’t want 15 bars from us, especially when the Letter of the Day is F but He about to learn what’s up, Snuffy’s gonna wear his ass like a mitt literally: SESAME STREET GETS DAT PAPER!!!!

We got something for Ms Romney too, tricks get it too ! HOLLA HOLLA!!!!

Proof That I be on Sesame Street for all the haters out there:

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Jocular Look @ Today’s News: Japan opens first masturbation bar for women


 

This just in !………..

Love Joule, a colorful new bar in the Shibuya district of Tokyo, is the first “love and sex bar dedicated to women.” According to the Tokyo Reporter, the wall behind the counter is adorned with dozens of colorful sex toys. Megumi Nakagawa, the bar’s proprietor, explains that typically a bar will have bottles of alcohol lining the wall. The appearance of vibrators, however, provides women with more confidence in speaking about spanking.

“Once they take a seat, customers are able to experience a pleasant place in which they can openly discuss masturbation,” Nakagawa said. “Since most people view female masturbation as something of a mystery or taboo, it is not a usual topic at typical bars,” she added.Nakagawa describes the atmosphere at Bar Joule as “fashionable and sexy in a different kind of space — perfect for girls-only discussions or a date.”Customers include women from the commercial sex (fuzoku) industry and adult video (AV) actresses.

MrMaryWeighs In

I am sorry to say it but I saw this coming long ago. I think this is a ramification of the women’s rights movie. Wait! Before you descend upon me like the dreaded harpies of myth check this out:

ladies’ night is a promotional event, often at a bar or nightclub, where female patrons pay less than male patrons for the cover charge or drinks. State courts in California,MarylandPennsylvania and Wisconsin have ruled that ladies’ night discounts are unlawful gender discrimination under state or local statutes. 

Every women I know loves a sale. Generally when the sales and discounts stop the women stop shopping there. Once some states started ruling against lady’s night it was only a matter of time before the Japanese club scene would suffer negatively. So following a clear line of logic, they made a safe place for women to talk about female masturbation . Yeah I know it syllogistically follows, and everyone loves a good syllogism :-)

According to Ikuko Ikeshita a doctor with the Ikeshita Ladies’ Clinic over the past few years, “there has been a movement to do away with the stigma surrounding female masturbation in Japan, pointing to the increase in websites discussing female sexuality and stores selling female sex goods.”

Big Pulls and Stiff Drinks

A customer going by the name of Sayama has said “I go because it is a safe place and I don’t have to worry about trying to brush off men all the time. Add in that it is also a great place to drink and talk about what we women love to talk about, sex and guys, that’s also a big pull.“ Nothing says big pull to me like female adult file stars  ( it’s the labial reduction/ vaginoplasty ) who love this place and rightly so Japan has successfully set a new world record. They had 250 men and 250 women who commenced to have sex in the same place at the same time, completing the world biggest orgy ever!  After the shoot I am sure most guys wanted to go to sleep while the ladies could go another round. I’m guessing; the world’s biggest orgy screams of quantity being prized over quality. see for yourself

See no guys in the hi-five yeah we did it pics. They are all all cleaning themselves off with a squeegee and going the fuck to sleep

Who ever came up with this idea was a real forward thinker. You see “the sanctity of the space is preserved by a policy prohibiting single men from entering.” No one knows more about masturbation than men in long-term relationship because they watch so much of it online in lieu of actually having sex with their significant other. That’s why I so look forward to married life, I’ll be married to some lady on paper but also to my right hand in real life. I also love the word sanctity used in that sentence. Men by their very nature destroy all holiness and goodness whenever they enter a place look at Troy, better yet if anyone in the future can read this go back in time and shine the black light on the inside of the Trojan horse (they were Greek !!!) or how the Barbarians sacked Rome, or how Japanese adult star Tsunehiro “Wangzilla” Ochonobe sacks the lady’s whenever he films ultimate sending them to clinic for a vaginoplasty.

Conclusions

Personally I would love to have a first date at the female masturbation bar. I think I would be able to tell a lot about my date depending on what she orders with her stiff drinks on the rocks [ deez rocks lol had to make that joke] . If she order after her second mai tai a JackHammer dildo then she is definitely the kind of girl I would take home to meet my mother.

Steam powered just like the old days

Uhm  do your brign your own gear or do you have to use the one they have there ? LAdies if you wanted into this bar and you got a warm sex toy that looked clean would u still use it? Does it come with the wax paper that are in the bathroom stall to put over the toilet seat. Since this is a bar dedicated to masturbation would you eat the nuts put out by the bar keep. I personally never eat the nuts offered at a strip club. Do you have to juice yourself in front of others. Like, are you juicing while you talk to your friend or long term man plumber?

UPDATE:

I saw these comments and they cracked me up pure comedy genius, again i didnt write this, adn while i reposted this here I do not necessary endorse the views expressed by these comments. MrMary Cares;

  1. How do you know if a woman used a vibrator while she was pregnant?The kid stutters.
  2. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
  3. I hear the place doesn’t have a cover charge but has a two orgasm minimum.
  4. I heard there’s no backdoor.
  5. Would you get an awkward look if you ordered a double?

Love Joule, a colorful new bar in the Shibuya district of Tokyo, is the first “love and sex bar dedicated to women.”

According to the Tokyo Reporter, the wall behind the counter is adorned with dozens of colorful sex toys. Megumi Nakagawa, the bar’s proprietor, explains that typically a

bar will have bottles of alcohol lining the wall. The appearance of vibrators, however, provides women with more confidence in speaking about spanking.

“Once they take a seat, customers are able to experience a pleasant place in which they can openly discuss masturbation,” Nakagawa said. “Since most people view female masturbation as something of a mystery or taboo, it is not a usual topic at typical bars,” she added.

Nakagawa describes the atmosphere at Bar Joule as “fashionable and sexy in a different kind of space — perfect for girls-only discussions or a date.”

Customers include women from the commercial sex (fuzoku) industry and adult video (AV) actresses.

 

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Mitt-Apple-Pie

I might’ve soiled myself laughing @ Blacks For Romney on Funny or Die


Blacks For Romney

Mitt Romney is tired of polling at 0% among Blacks.
Mitt Romney has had his problems with minorities in particular with black folk but there is still as this video illustrates a small minority of black people that support Mitt. Check it out Click the link above.
MrMary

Yes, Mitt Romney, You Built That!

by Lawrence D. Elliott

A recent NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll showed President Obama had the support of 94%, of African Americans, while Mitt Romney had the backing of 0%. When I saw those results, I first asked “How the heck does Mitt Romney get no support from African Americans in a political poll?”

It appears the GOP has a serious problem with minority voters. Gee, how did that happen? Could it be the rhetoric coming from the so-called party leaders? Let’s see…

Rick Santorum, former U. S. Senator from Pennsylvania and a 2012 candidate for the GOP President nomination, was caught on video saying, “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.”

He later claimed he didn’t say “black”, but he actually said, “blah”. Really?

“I don’t want to make blah people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.”

And there’s Newt Gingrich, another 2012 GOP candidate for the nomination, who routinely insults President Barack Obama as the “best food stamp president in American history”, playing to a long-held stereotype.

He once told a town hall meeting of seniors in Plymouth, N.H., that if the NAACP invites him to speak at its annual convention, he’d go there and talk about “why the African American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps.”

And let’s not forget about Texas Governor Rick Perry’s Niggerhead Ranch.

And the hits just keep coming. Is anyone really shocked the Republican Party has such a hard time getting support from African Americans or Latinos?

Not to mention the diabolical way they’ve tried to delegitimizing and dehumanize this President. He’s not a man who’s been constitutionally elected to his office, but some unqualified Kenyan socialist who somehow defrauded his way to the highest office of the land. An affirmative action President unworthy of his position.

Whether it’s an image of a watermelon patch growing on the front lawn of the White House or a picture of the President being held as a pet chimpanzee, the base is responding. Need more proof? Just last week, two attendees of the Republican National Convention were thrown out of the convention center in Tampa on Tuesday after throwing nuts at a black CNN camerawoman and saying, “this is how we feed the animals.”

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Jocular look @ Today News: Quebec Superiour Court judge makes Fukyu Bar à Sushi Change its name


The restaurant, “Fukyu Bar à Sushi,” opened in August and, according to its owners, was named after a type of martial art practiced in Japan, the Montreal Gazette reported.However, the three owners were fully aware of the double entendre behind the name, based on comments placed on the Fukyu Sushi Facebook page.

“The name we chose signified ‘Good Fortune’ in Japanese! It also a a Karate stance in the gata form…! Also, it is obviously a play on words! We won’t deny that! LOL We didn’t mean to offend or insult anybody, in fact, we found it hilarious and thought it was reflective of our open-mindedness and creativity, just as is in the food that we offer.” The owners also claimed on Facebook that the maki rolls were originally supposed to be called the Fukyutoo Roll, The Fukme Roll, The FukyuAll Roll and The Fukyomomma Roll.

Mrmary Weighs In

Supposedly a sushi bar called Fukyu was bad taste?

The request that the judge require the Fukyu Sushi Bar owners to change the business name came from the lawyer for the building’s owner. He said the name made many people in the neighborhood uncomfortable and some tenants in the building were threatening to leave because of it.

Check the video out here

Maybe because english wasnt my first or second language really, that I find profanity in all its shape or forms really funny, and the use of prepositions  like in teh following “all up in”.

But back to the subject at hand,  according to Greek mythology, all fruits of the sea are the children of Aphrodite, goddess of love. Seafood is known aphrodisiac. Both fish and seaweed boast nutritional attributes that add to their aphrodisiac powers. Oily fish provide mood-elevating Omega-3’s and many seafoods offer zinc not to mention the protein needed for sustained energy. Seaweed, the wrapper used on sushi rolls, is an excellent source of Vitamin E, also known as the “sex vitamin.”

Cut to the chase: There is a storied relationship between seafood and for lack of a better word “Fucking” that goes back to the mythic past which I don’t think is in bad taste to use as a marketing ploy to get customers. I mean its fairly standard check it out

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Paula Deen drops F-bombs, deep throats her dessert in leaked video (actual headline)


[NOTE: I did create the headline I found it like that on MSN]

Paula Deen drops F-bombs, deep throats her dessert in leaked video

Paula Deen has made a living by filling her mouth with everything from doughnut burgers to diabetes pills, but a just-released “blooper” video focuses on what comes out of her flappin’ jaws. In the video obtained by the New York Post, Deen imitates a sex act on a chocolate éclair (we’ll assume she always eats them like that from now on) drops F-bombs and says that one dish smelled “like a stinky coochie.” The reel was supposed to air before Deen’s appearances on the Celebrity Chefs Tour, but organizers deemed it too saucy for their audience. Deen pulled out of the tour and eventually had to pay up to the promoters. After seeing Deen and that éclair, though, it’s safe to say that all of us lost.

MrMary Weighs In 

video?freewheel=90081&sitesection=nypost&VID=23819831

I don’t even know what to say about this one. In jest I would say any lady that deep throars desserts gets an A+  in my book, but Ms Deen took it to the next level seriously. Too many jokes I have to  take a break. Meanwhile enjoy this crazy video

Ms Deen Takes it Deep

 

Risotto Nero with Fried Octopus and Pesto Dressing

Seafood Can Bring You Back to that Place


and by ‘that place’ I mean behind the dumpster in the teacher parking lot during Senior free Period in Highschool because she had 5 minutes or less to kill too. Anyways here it comes  get ready for the headline:

Seafood Dinner Leaves Woman with a Mouthful of Squid Sperm

I know what your thinking, when he paid for the dinner she should have known what was coming next. While I have to agree with you on principle as someone who has paid for many dinners without having the gestured reciprocated literally or figuratively with my man-meat based steak dinner (The two veg are always on me) I must point out that this woman in Korea wasn’t on a date. Turns out she was eating a partially cooked squid.

I have done some detective work and pieced together the events of the night.The Squid got hot and bothered in that warm bath (many men can relate to this feeling). I’m sure after all that time surround by great herbal aromas, warm water, and some oily viscous lubricant in a pinch, the squid felt he was in heaven and like many dudes discover early on in puberty he died a little inside, her mouth that is. Ah la Petite Mort ! Unfortunately after being hot and bothered so long  his stamina was shot.

The Hard , Pre Flaccid Facts

The unidentified woman reportedly experienced a “pricking and foreign-body sensation” while she chewed and spat the squid out. She had to go to the hospital when she felt severe pain and several “small, squirming” creepy crawlies in her mouth. Doctors found that the squid had left “twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms” in the mucous membranes of her tongue and cheek. Indeed, the woman’s mouth had been essentially inseminated.

Well I am glad the unidentified women was able to draw on knowledge gleamed from  past dates and spit it out. I think this may be the one and only case where everyone is happy she didn’t swallow.  However I think for this reason she has chosen to keep her name out of the news, if word got around she was a habitual spitter… well we all know what would happen. Turns out thought  that it’s not the first time a squid has tried to fertilize a human mouth. There have been several incidents in Japan where people have complained of oral stings by their food. It seems that the tsunami when it washed that village out into sea it took with it someone’s maxim and porno magazine stash and the squid were all over it.

What have we learned today MrMary?

As much as we all like it raw, and we do, when consuming raw squid, diners should remove their internal organs, or boil the tasty treat long enough to kill its sperm bags. Personally this is why I wear really tight underwear and sit on my apartment radiator. That way if I am ever in the position to inseminate a Korean Woman’s mouth, while she may feel a prick and maybe some slight pain, she doesnt have to worry about becoming pregnant or buy those home pregnancy test.