Tag Archives: The Ugly

hunter-s-thompson
Sep 26 2012

Jocular Look @ Today’s News: Onions on hamburger send Oregon man into ‘McFury’


 

Jayme John Leon, 50, reportedly

threw a soda in

a McDonald’s manager’s face and

smashed a cash

register over the dispute.

__________

The unexpected inclusion of onions on a hamburger sent one Oregon man into what police called a McFury, which could not be alleviated even after he was offered a free replacement burger. The Oregonian reports that Jayme John Leon, 50, reportedly threw a soda in a McDonald’s manager’s face and smashed a cash register over the dispute. Leon walked into a local McDonald’s on September 23 and ordered a quarter pounder burger without onions. But when he returned home, Leon discovered the burger was in fact topped with onions. When he called the restaurant to complain, Leon was told he was entitled not only to a refund but also to a free replacement burger. Leon reportedly ate the offending burger anyway but still showed up at the McDonald’s demanding a refund and fresh burger.

MrMary Weighs In

You cannot demand a refund or anything after you eat the burger in question. But I wonder about people flipping out over trivial stuff. For a while post office workers were in the new for going crazy. Ambulance  driver have among the highest rate of suicide the same goes for returning vets. There is something wrong socially  and I cant place my finger on it that causes people to flip out or be consumed with rage. Any ideas?

If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.
Hunter S. Thompson

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Literally road hard and hung up wet, i typed that into Google and She came up and since then I havent been able too
Jul 26 2012

Debunking a Popular Myth: Amateur Porn


There are many deceiving phrases in English like: “Fuck Ms Buttersworth!!” While You may ask what has she done to anyone other than pretend to be a character from, a movie called: “The Help”, and a future character Eddie Murphy may impersonate in another film I won’t see …, I would answer: “Nothing, she is a fictitious character, but so were the girls/guys in your wet dreams as a child”.

I would like today to deconstruct the phrase and today: Amateur porn. Technically I have always felt that amateur  should be a video of two virgin trying to figure out  what’s the most obnoxious way to eat either an open faced beef-sammich au jus, or a quick breakfast of over-boiled sausage with weird swampy funk atop boiled eggs, i.e. it should be something no one wants to see.

First the Definitions

NJ Governor Chris Christie amateur weight loser

Amateur:

:o ne who engages in a pursuit, study, science, or sport as a pastime rather than as a profession

: one lacking in experience and competence in an art or science

ANALysis

First off let stay with this word because it brings up a few interesting points, namely:

  1. For the people who act in porn is it a profession or a past-time?
  2. What is it that they are lacking experience in ?
  3. Concerning the question before by in do we mean “in” literally or figuratively ?

It is neither a profession or a past-time, like brown-bagging it (a non-sexual term that should be) at the market, it’s a way of life.  We have all eaten stuff we didn’t like that left you picking your teeth for a while afterwards, and we have all choked in something in the past, and we have all been in front of a camera, we have all ordered pizza, or momentarily, when it suited us, forgotten the difference between right and wrong.

To me this clearly means that the ‘actors’ in porn, aren’t going hard into method. They are not real actors though like many real actors they need money to support a boyfriend, 3 kids and a coke habit while living in Southern California, and all the furniture on their set is covered to protect from those everyday spills.

Granted maybe it’s not every day that they use all those common plebeian talents all at once, but if you ask me to hold a pose in front of camera, while eating a free box lunch, it wouldn’t be a daunting challenge and that wouldn’t make me an amateur porn star, even if the box was really big and sloppy.

The Real Reason
why it’s called Amateur

Literally road hard and hung up wet. I typed that into Google and she came up and since then I havent been able too (j/k)

Every guy know you can only use the excuse, this is my first time, for a couple for years before you have to start being accountable. In this case it’s a lack of accountability adult film producers are trying to account for.  Why you ask, well because the actors and actresses aren’t what you would call beautiful/handsome in the classic sense – stretch marks,  surgery scars, maybe some bullet/knife wounds sagging parts, … etc. These people are so not classically beautiful they aren’t worth using good film on or even editing crappy film.

Bottom Line: No such thing as amateur porn, there are only less than beautiful people  trying hard to make fucking  not appealing

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3456
Jul 24 2012

Just say it already ………………..


I generally feel that whenever something  awful happens in American the immediate reaction is to find a scape goat to pin it on and then neatly wrap the case up in time for dinner and our favorite TV shows.

Case and Point

let’s look at this a little more first:

James Holmes Cops Investigating Sex Site Profile

A man claiming to be James Holmes created a profile on a popular sex website just days before “The Dark Knight Rises” massacre … in which he described his penis as “short/average” … and law enforcement sources tell TMZ investigators are now looking at the site to determine its authenticity.

James Holmes Reportedly Took Drugs Before Shooting Spree

James Holmes took Vicodin 2-and-a-half hours before yesterday’s shooting rampage … this according to a new report.

2nd Grade English

I remember from grammar school being told that the first line of every paragraph is the most important. Further more the first line of the first paragraph of anything is the most important. With the exception of a few things this rule has pretty much held true over the years.

So if were were to read these two articles taking a Vicodin and having an average sized schlong is grounds for committing atrocities. We should regular Vicodin sales  and whoever isn’t buying Magnum condom. Wonderful idea to keep people safe.

Can’t we just say that there are people who like inflicting pain on others for no reason? Can’t we all admit that there are people walking around that are fucking nuts? I guess we cant because that would force us to ask on what side of the line do we sit and we are afraid  of what the answer may be and rightly so.

In the meantime here are some more headlines to distract you from the real questions:

Colorado Shooting Suspect James Holmes — The Match.Com Profile
Colorado Shooter James Holmes — Rejected By 3 Women Before Massacre
James Holmes — Obsessed with NON-VIOLENT Video Game Guitar Hero

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97737338wu3
Jun 25 2012

You Know It’s Bad When


Fox News Reporter Hired as Vatican Media Adviser

ROME — In an effort to shore up its communications strategy amid a widening leaks scandal in a troubled papacy, the Vatican has hired the Fox News correspondent in Rome as a senior communications adviser.The correspondent, Greg Burke, 52, who has covered the Vatican for Fox since 2001, will leave the network to help improve and coordinate the Vatican’s various communications operations, Mr. Burke and the Vatican spokesman said. Some Vatican watchers called the move a power play by media-savvy Americans inside a Vatican hierarchy run by Italians whose most frequent communications strategy is to accuse their critics of defamation. Mr. Burke is a member of the conservative Opus Dei movement, and his hiring underscores the group’s role in the Vatican.

What That means In Plain English

Frankly speaking you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. The vatican hasn’t updated it sperm laced manuals on hwo to deal with issues. Killing loads of people to silence them and then blaming it on Satan wouldnt seem to fitting, especially since the the whole inquisition, ousting of the Jews from Europe and the whole Slavery is good for the negro soul thing. new times call for new methods and it seems no one is more adept at  covering up the truth and spouting disinformation better than the american news media. They have had much training in justify wars, police brutality, criminalizing the poor, so sack tickling priest and global cover-up should be nothing.

What does he have to cover up/make seem better/Communicate Effectively

  1. That is a tall order. Vatican experts say that the institution is suffering from a deep crisis of leadership more than of communications. Pope Benedict XVI is seen as an intellectual with little interest or skill in governing, and his deputies have been mired in infighting.
  2. The Vatican must deal with a growing investigation that has led to the arrest of the pope’s butler in connection with the leaking of private documents, a case that could reach into higher levels of the hierarchy.
  3. The Vatican’s secretive bank remains embroiled in controversy over whether it can meet international transparency standards.
  4. And on Friday in Philadelphia, a former aide to a cardinal became the first senior official of the Roman Catholic Church in the United States to be convicted of covering up sexual abuse by priests under his supervision in a vast scandal that has cost the church untold credibility and more than $1 billion in legal settlements.

What does this Say about America?

We all know that something was up with the church. I mean the pope dresses like Liberace and yet the church has an anti-gay stance, I won’t even mention the castrated boys choir.  I mean it clear to me that the world knows we are full of shit. All men are created equal except, women, Native Americans and Negros. We are a nation of immigrants who are so divided on immigration. We work for Peace through War, we are for religious tolerance yet well I mean I dont have to get into it do I ?  Like America Oceania in Orwell’s classic 1984 is depicted as a nation of perpetual war, pervasive government, public mind control and the voiding of civil rights.

I wonder if violent regimes around the world will start really hiring republican Lawyers and Bill O’ Reilly to do some good ole fashion PR for them. President Assad in Syria can be fighting domestic home grown terrorists, some of which like  in an American drone strike due to their proximity to some assumed terrorists must be terrorists too. Our number one export seems to be disinformation….

“America’s leading industry, is still the manufacturing, packaging and selling of bullshit. High quality, grade A, prime cut, pure American bullshit. Bullshit is everywhere. This entire country is completely full of shit and always has been. From the declaration of independance, to the constiution, to the star spangled banner, it’s still nothing a big steaming pile of red, white and blue bullshit. Think of how we started, this country has founded by a group of slave owners who said that all men were created equal…except for blacks, indians and women right!? Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. What are these fucking cretins talking about. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. No one would know what to do! Honesty would fuck this country up”

Jun 20 2012

Reblogged: A friend of mine gets booted out of Downtown Sports Bar (Raleigh, NC) for being black, because this is 1960*, apparently


This was reblogged from here . The story really moved me and made me angry.  Please check out the original blog post. But I have reprinted the course of events  below. Enjoy

MrMary

My name is Jonathan Wall, and I am a 21 year old black male from Raleigh, NC. I was born and raised here, and just a few weeks ago I graduated from Morehouse College in Atlanta, GA. This fall I’ll be headed to grad school at Harvard to get a Master’s degree in Education Policy and Management. I’m in Raleigh for the summer before heading off to grad school.

As the story begins, on last Saturday night around 12:30am, I and 2 other friends went to Downtown Sports Bar and Grill off of Glennwood Avenue. The night got interesting as soon as we got to the door, and the bouncer told us “you need a membership to come in tonight, I’ve never seen you here before.” My friend Chris and I looked at each other in curiosity, knowing that the establishment was a bar and not a club, and that people in line before us walked right in after showing their ID. The only difference between those people and my friends and I was our race. Still, we stood at the door in bewilderment asking “What?” as he further tried to explain that we weren’t going to be able to come in because of our “non-member” status. However, as he was explaining this, a police officer walked up to where he was standing to tell him something unrelated. As soon as he caught sight of the officer beside him, he said “Never mind, y’all go ahead.” This was the first interesting ordeal of the night, but not the last.

We were downstairs for all of ten minutes, when my two friends dispersed. My friend Chris went to the bathroom, and my friend Kristin went upstairs to get some fresh air. Only a few seconds after they left, what appeared to be a bartender came from behind the bar to clean drinks off of one of the tall bar tables that was near me. After he cleaned the table, it looked as if he was headed back behind the bar when he came up to me and said “Either buy a drink or leave right now.” Again shocked, I replied “I’m just waiting for my friend to come back from the bathroom.” He responded, “I don’t care, get a drink or leave right now.” I said “Okay” and began texting. He walked away from me, then went and sat with his back to the bar as he stared me down. Being non-confrontational, I looked towards the bathroom, waiting to see my friend come out so that we could leave. I also took notice of how many of the people surrounding the bar and the club area didn’t have drinks in their hands. I felt as if I was singled out. The common denominator, again, was that I was the only black person around. After staring me down for about 30 seconds, he walked back over and said “Are you going to buy a drink, or are you going to leave?” I replied, “As soon as my friend comes from the bathroom.” Before I cold utter another word, he grabbed my right wrist and my left arm and threw them behind my head in an effort to constrain me, although I was speaking to him a calm and non-aggressive tone and didn’t once even gesture. He then used excessive force to push me through the crown and out of the club while I was still in this “headlock” of sorts, before pushing me out of the front door. As soon as he grabbed me, I let my body go limp because with the degree of force he was already using, I didn’t want him to think I was trying to fight back. I accepted that he was on an ego-trip, and let him guide me through the club in this position before pushing me out. I was completely shocked and more saddened that this was happening than angry.

As he was walking me out, my friend Chris came out of the bathroom and ran up to where he we were, asking him what I did wrong. He didn’t reply. I had done nothing but suggest that I would wait for my friend to come from the bathroom and leave instead of purchasing a drink. After making sure I was all right, my friend and I went to the bouncer at the front door to try to tell him what had just happened and get an explanation. He waved us off and told us to just get away.

I walked up and down Glennwood Avenue looking for a police officer to talk to—again, not angry, but sad and shocked that what I believed to have been blunt and undeniable segregation was taking place in an establishment in Raleigh, the city I was born, raised in, and love.

After about ten minutes and two redirections I was able to talk to the police sergeant, who was also on Glennwood. I explained to her everything in the previous paragraphs. She told me that this was a very unfortunate occurrence, but not an isolated instance. She explained that this happens all the time, and that if she approached the bartender about it, he’d have witnesses that would corroborate whatever story he made up as to why he kicked me out in such an aggressive manner. She then explained that my options were limited because if she proceeded with getting statements from both of us and conducted an investigation, the end result could be worse for me: either it would get dismissed in court, or we would both be charged with what is the equivalent of “fighting” and both have a misdemeanor. She said “He probably has a few charges already, but you’re young with a bright future ahead of you, and you don’t want that on your record.” I understood what she was saying, but wasn’t exactly sure whether I should trust a police officer within the network of bouncers/officers who worked the many clubs/bars of Glennwood. Just then, the man who threw me out came to the front door. I pointed him out to the officer, and she approached him to talk about the incident. They talked for about 3 minutes before she came back to me and said, “I knew this was going to happen. Now, I don’t believe him one bit, but he says that he has three people who witnessed you throw an elbow at him before he restrained you.” Shocked is an understatement. As I said earlier, I talked in a non-confrontational, clam and respectful tone, and didn’t even gesture when talking. There is no way that he could have perceived me as having thrown an elbow and I didn’t understand how three people would lie and say that I did. I asked the officer about video camera footage. If the club used cameras, they would show the conversation, and his aggressiveness in constraining me despite me posing no threat and remaining calm throughout the conversation and his constraining me. She said that it would require a search warrant and that there was “No telling” how the video could be edited, tampered with, or even done away with before it would be required to be handed over to the investigators. What troubled me about my conversation with the officer was that she seemed to assume the worst case scenario in every possible solution to my encounter. She kept talking about how much paper work would be involved, as if that were going to deter me from seeking justice. Still, it was 2am, and after speaking to both of my parents and my friends, I realized that justice couldn’t be served that night. Because of the lack of witnesses, it would simply be my word versus his (and that of his three “witnesses”), which could potentially yield extremely negative consequences for me, even though I had done nothing wrong throughout the entirety of the ordeal.

The next day, Sunday, my mother told my aunts and uncles about what happened and I found out something even more interesting. After my aunt told my 21-year-old cousin about what happened to me, my cousin called me immediately, requesting the name of the bar where this had happened. I told her the name, and she gasped before telling me that earlier that night, she and group of 4 of her friends had tried to go to the same bar (Downtown Sports Grill and Bar) but were told by the bouncer at the front door “I’ve never seen y’all here before. You can’t come in.” Confused, she asked “What?” and he replied “You’re not allowed in here because I’ve never seen you before.” My cousin didn’t feel like arguing or being somewhere she didn’t feel welcome so she and her friends simply walked away. Still, the only common denominator in her and my own dealings with the bar was one single factor: race. We were both African-Americans trying to enter and enjoy a bar that seemed to only welcome those not like us.

It is absolutely ridiculous that this still happens in America. It is even more ridiculous that it’s happening in Raleigh, North Carolina, one of the fastest growing and, increasingly, most diverse cities in America.

I talked to my attorney who said, simply, that although what happened was undoubtedly wrong and unjust, the fact of the matter was what I had assumed before: it would be an uphill battle to reach any kind of legal resolution. She then suggested that I contact the I-Team Troubleshooter to see if there was any possible solution when the media asked for answers as to why and how this was allowed to occur. She also suggested that I check whether my and my cousin’s stories were not isolated instances, and whether media coverage would expose more stories of racism and exclusion at this establishment.  

I thank you in advance for reading this, and for any help or assistance that you may be able to offer.

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Jun 3 2012

People Who Make My People Look Bad on a Whole: Lil Wayne


Everyone identifies themselves with some group politically, socially, culturally etc. There are always cases of people in one of the groups you particularly identify yourself as that do some things to make everyone else in that group look bad. I thought I would after an incident on the Manhattan bound E-train start a series to address people who make things look bad for not only humanity but also distinct portions of the population. I am honored to start this series with someone I still cannot understand why is popular: Lil Wayne.

Lil Wayne Incident w/ the Thunder

Breaking News

The rapper created a stir Thursday night by posting on Twitter that he was “going to go to the Thunder game tonight but was denied by the team to be in their arena.” Thunder spokesman Dan Mahoney says Lil Wayne’s representatives did contact the team requesting tickets but insisted that he sit on the front row, and none of those seats was available. Oklahoma City sold out every home game during the regular season and playoffs this season. Mahoney says: “We’d love to have him at a game, but like anyone else, he needs a ticket.”

Recent Developments

The fact that he still has a career is amazing, but to be called by the associated press an icon is beyond me. According to the iconoclastic rapper two Thunder players — Kevin Durant and James Harden— had reached out to offer him tickets to Saturday’s fourth game of the Western Conference Finals. But that’s not the point you see:

“It’s the players stepping up but of course the players aren’t white. I don’t want to be sitting there on behalf of you and I’m sitting next to a (person) that’s like ‘I don’t want this (guy) sitting next to me.’ (Forget) you … I’m in Forbes,” he said, laughing.

I think that Lil Wayne’s attempt to make this into something about race ? A team spokesman has said Lil Wayne’s representatives insisted that he sit in the front row, and none of those seats were available. Oklahoma City sold out every home game during the regular season and playoffs. You see you may not know this but dimunitive Wayne coming to the basketball game is an act of infinite mercy. He said he felt welcome at other arenas including Miami, and likes being able to energize players — many of whom are fans of his music — on their home court.” That’s like me [Lil Wayne] going on stage and … seeing LeBron (James) in the crowd with his hand up. I’m going to perform a little bit harder,” he said.

According to really tall negro and 3 time scoring champ Kevin Durant: “It was just a misunderstanding. We were sold out of tickets, I heard, and we didn’t come through,” Durant said. “He knows a few of us on the team and he knows it’s nothing like that. We offered him tickets to tonight but he had to do something. He’s a superstar in his own right, so he can’t just pick up and go to a game.”

Thoughts

I was shocked when I went on a epic road trip from NYC to Las Vegas. Most Americans from the mid-West look like they grew grown in the Aisle of Dr. Moreau, hillbilly low-life, sweating-gravy, sibling-fucking motherfuckers. Most Americans think that what they see on TV is true, looking at the Jersey Shore I can see why people don’t believe in evolution. However I feel if you make enough movies showing for instance Mexicans worshiping Picante Doritos (the son of Corn born from a  virgin plant) many people wills tart to believe  that Doritos are evidence of the second coming of Christ and Mexicans will comprise his new and improved apostles)

I think our idiot celebrities really make it worse for us. Their actions don’t just reflect on themselves it reflects really on everyone in the group they are most easily identified with. If I get looks next time I am in the good seat on the bus, I will show everyone my metro card receipt taped too my ballsack, and rectify any incorrect image that people who tape things to their genitals as means of communication, actually pay regular fare like everyone else!

dlsp
May 25 2012

Could Slap this person to get 5-10 years back, and the speech every man gives his son


Thursday Brian Bank’s rape conviction was dismissed. His accuser, who last year sent Banks a message on Facebook suggesting that they “let bygones be bygones,” had been videotaped saying she lied about being raped. Wanetta Gibson’s previous statements to police about the alleged 2002 incident had been the only evidence against Banks — there was no physical evidence that Banks had raped her. With the change in her story, prosecutors and a judge agreed, there was no case.

This Dude was a former high school football star until he was accused of and convicted of rape. He was a labeled a registered sex offender, spent five years in prison, five years of probation and wearing an electronic monitoring device. he wasn’t able to get a job. His dream of playing in the NFL destroyed, possibly forever.  Basically he was robbed of a lot.

I personally would be a bit bitter, or would want to slap this lady. Not only for that but for the fact that: her family had been granted a $1.5 million legal judgment from the Long Beach, Calif., public school system because she had claimed the rape happened on school property. She doesn’t want to repeat what she said  on the video for the authorities because she doesn’t wanna loose that money.

The Speech I got When I hit Puberty

My pops and basically every older dude I knew told me the equivalent of what Snoop said in ’94 can’t love these ho’s. Basically I was told to watch out because some girls will try to trip you up, in court it’s your words against hers and your word is meaningless. The same was said of divorce too, a lady will try to take all your shit that you worked hard for. I don’t know much about the generation of men before me but there seemed to be a lot of bitterness.

I didn’t really believe that people could be so malicious until I went out into the real world. This case I was really naive until  I went out into the real world. People can be that malicious.

Judging Others

I was talking to a friend about this, and I said something like and excuse my language: “Dat bitch needs to be locked up and thrown under the jail“. I was immediately reproached and ask: “You cant judge her or anyone else because I don’t know and I haven’t been in the girls shoes.” Unfortunately I had to shut ym female friend down and let her know this is not a knock against independent women or any of those Destiny’s Child or Beyonce song. This is someone lying and  an innocent man losing his dreams  and 10 years of his life.

What do you think ? lemme know

(I am totally against violence in all shapes and form, I was angry when I read this and said that she should be slapped)

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nakedorange_flv1
May 23 2012

There is a New Japanese Hot Dog Eating CHampion in NYC


Takeru Kobayashi is a Japanese competitive eater. He held the world record for hot dog eating for nearly six years, and holds several other eating records, including four Guinness Records for hot dogs, meatballs, Twinkies, hamburgers, and pasta.

Well though he hasnt competed in the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating Contest for 3 year fellow Japanese artist,(yes to get that much sausage down you have to be a artist, or a hooker on dire straights) Takeshi Miyakawa has taken up the slack.

Miyakawa is a street artist who lives in hipster infested Williamburg, Brooklyn. The artist intended it to be a display of his love for the city: white plastic bags stamped with the “I ♥ NY” logo lighted from within and glowing moonlike from lampposts and trees in Brooklyn and beyond.

The Police bomb squad was called In and Miyakawa was accused of planting fake bombs. Mr. Miyakawa was charged with reckless endangerment and placing “a false bomb or hazardous substance,” among other charges. He was arraigned in court in Brooklyn on Sunday morning, his lawyer, Deborah J. Blum, said. She added that Judge Martin Murphy ordered him held pending the psychological exam.

Do You see where I am going With this?

Miyakawa spent 3 night at the notorious Riker’s Island Prison where like his fellow Japanese national Takeru Kobayashi ate a lot of sausage. I don’t if like his japanese compatriot he pulled the meat out of the two buns to down it, or did he just go deep without the jail-house mustard or ketchup.

Louis Lim, a designer and artist who calls Miyakawa a “mentor and second father,” says “New York is still a police state, “But the support people have shown means that there’s still hope—that people understand that we’re all still part of a community.”

I disagree statistically since Asian commit so little serious crime in the city they have to occasionally expected to be locked up, and dogged out occasionally. Unfortunately this happened all to literally for Mr Miyakawa

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Mar 22 2012

James Joyce, Samuel Beckett, & an Offensive Convo with an Old Classmate


“The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil or another, and no matter what you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. At the age of 25 most people were finished. A whole god-damned nation of assholes driving automobiles, eating, having babies, doing everything in the worst way possible, like voting for the presidential candidates who reminded them most of themselves. I had no interests. I had no interest in anything. I had no idea how I was going to escape. At least the others had some taste for life. They seemed to understand something that I didn’t understand. Maybe I was lacking. It was possible. I often felt inferior. I just wanted to get away from them. But there was no place to go.”
—Ham on Rye, 1982

_______________________________________________

I love the education I received from my all Boys Catholic Prep, I had some great teachers that recognized my abilities and helped me with advice through some salient moments during that time. I didn’t really fit in with a lot of my fellow students, our words, economic status, methods of linguistic expression, values, colloquial accents were too different. I made three really good friends. I didnt know why I didnt feel comfortable around them.

Now years later I feel it was the stank of mediocrity and security. I felt everyone had their life planned out for them, college marriage good job, or job in the family business. I studied and read because I was curious about the world, and I loved learning. A lot of them even in the honors and advanced classes I was in  they did well but just to make that piece of reality, that trust fund, that promised car more real.  There is no greater love than a love with no purpose. I loved someone like that once and it was a like a category 5 hurricane in life, just loved them not for what they did or looked liked, for no reason.

I did  well in the classes, but it was a handicapped race as I felt, nothing to come home to aside from sadness, hunger and some other stuff. I thought I would share a convo I had with a former classmate i bumped into recently at Penn Station. It’s pretty foul at times, you’ve been warned

_______________________________________________

MrFacelessIncurious: Oh Hey MrMary’s RealName, Holy Shit, haven’t seen ya in like a fucking decade
MrMary: What’s good baby, how are ya ?
MrFacelessIncurious: I’m good man and you
MrMary: Well my prostate isn’t as big a grapefruit, it’s regular sized
MrFacelessIncurious: Wtf ?
MrMary: I just came from my girl-friend house,…..
MrMary: She has this cute slender fingers and no rings
MrFacelessIncurious: You’re fucking crazy still, so you finally got laid fucker?
MrMary: Yeah your moms was great, very motherly she wet-napped me, and made me something to eat
MrFacelessIncurious: STFU Your moms dude banged guys 10 ata time for a dime (old joke)
MrMary: Dude you know I’m black, in between prison and eating fried chicken my gerontic overweight grandma raised me, I never knew my moms

<joint laughter>…… <……here it comes….>
MrFacelessIncurious: You should come hang out a lot of the guys from our class hang
MrMary: <suppressing the need to vomit> Yeah…we should do that
MrFacelessIncurious: Yeah man YOU SHOULD… we play poker, we drink some, watch the game
MrMary: Ah the Game…. yeah the <Random NYC baseballs, basketball, footbal, hockey team>
MrFacelessIncurious: they are not doing so bad …huhn? <prepare to tune out>
Yeah not so bad …blah blahblah….

MrFacelessIncurious: So let’s sit down here and eat something, or have a coffee
MrMary:  Uhm sure, I could use a a drink, I left my flask at work This Moca choca limp-wristed bullshit will have to do

MrFacelessIncurious: Man Obama he is fucking this place up
MrMary: Really? – Yeah I thought it was the stench from the homeless and the current fractured global social structure precipitated by the Cold War.
MrFacelessIncurious: lol ..yeah that too I guess,…. Uhm yeah… Im glad I didn’t vote for him
MrMary: Yeah I dont, vote
MrFacelessIncurious: You don’t vote?
MrMary: Yeah, I don’t, it’s like blowing air into a womans vagina
MrFacelessIncurious: uhm…wtf are you on dude
MrMary: No good can come from blowing air in a womans vagaina
MrFacelessIncurious: uhm explain that  ?
MrMary: Well when air is blown or forced directly into a vagina without lettign it back out into the world an air embolism can form, but you know it rare, and well its proves my theory that blowjobs can kill… esp at Vegas prices
MrFacelessIncurious: I meant the voting ….
MrMary: Oh that’s easier Ahem Incompetent syphilitic leaders are the final product of an incompetent syphilitic society. To vote is really an exisential question wrappped up in a mental and spiritual propholactic latex. It forces you to ask who you are, but you can only answer that according to social/cultural convention which paints a picture of man as beign extremely egregiously limited. You can applaud me now
MrFacelessIncurious: People Died so you can vote
MrMary: I doubt during the civil war the northerns actually liked black people, they felt slavery was wrong but they still dont like us. Also in heavy fire I dont imagine someone saying: “I reckon their will be some coon/negro/darkee/monkey/eggplant boy born August 5 in NYC 200 years from now named MrMary’s real name. I am going have my mortality fatallysodomized by some bullets for him. Plus people died for the right for me to vote.
MrFacelessIncurious: That sounds a bit unpatriotic, and loud man all Dunkin Donuts is listening … chuckles…I don’t know what to tell ya
MrMary: It is as patriotic as older gay men dying from AIDS when Magic Johnson is still opening up Starbucks and Movie theatres. As for our fellow patrons they all can go on Dunkin Deez Nutz…. and no one know what to tell me – that’s why I choose women to date by their finger size, and eat farina in the morning. it’s a lot less talking more and more grimacing

MrFacelessIncurious: yo, take my # down, so we can hang
MrMary: Sure… Here a napkin
MrFacelessIncurious:  Want me to kiss it for you and leave my lip outline on it with my number
MrMary: Your mom taught you well, When I come over I’ll show you the napkin she left me, Her cell starts with 1-646-251 doesn’t it
MrFacelessIncurious:  Go fuck ya self
MrMary: I’m saving it all up for the election day,….. <laughter> you know … that night we will both be at the poles  but I wont be fooling myself, at least not to much at first….gotta ease into it, you’re married must spend a lot of time prodding your inner Protestant
MrFacelessIncurious: Nah I get mines
MrMary: yeah obviously but not from your wife, im guessing yourself and a random moisturizing bar
MrFacelessIncurious: Lol nah …where do you come up with this shit man, your worse than in HS
MrMary: I was married once
MrFacelessIncurious: Oh yeah what happened?
MrMary: I stopped abusing Oxycodon, and realized it wass a dream
MrFacelessIncurious: Seriously ?
MrMary: Nah playboy… I only abuse myself on election day to make a statement before the ‘inspiration’ dries up
MrFacelessIncurious: lol funny bastard…if you don’t care about politics what do you care about
MrMary: it’s not about caring I feel, it’s about doing what I am called to do and taking care of my responsibilities
MrFacelessIncurious: You gonna get all philosophical intellectual on me
MrMary: Im neither, philosophers and Intellectuals dont like fucking, and are quite effete in that realm. Although I would say being able to make your mom recite Joyce (Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow ) that gave me more street cred with the older ladies…shit might go crash a bingo game right now
MrFacelessIncurious: whats up with the mom jokes…
MrMary: I never grew up, still wear tighty whiteys see

MrFacelessIncurious: Dude we’re in public
MrMary: its ok I didnt show the shit streak part.

MrMary: Aight man I got to go, its been real sucka, stay magically delicious laughter, say hi to momma
MrFacelessIncurious: Enjoy that crack pipe and foodstamps
MrMary: gov-ment cheese homey peace
MrFacelessIncurious: peace

Conclusion

I was really happy for MrFacelessIncurious. He is successful, has two girls and is very very fat. I don’t think he can fit into the HS we used to go to. But I feel there will never be nothing new I cannot predict already: diet soon, trying to work out again to fit into one-seater on the train, stop eating red meat, to reduce the high blood pressure, excessive talking and drinking at either Yankee Stadium or the Meadowlands, wife will cut her hair short after their third kid or  in a year and complete her transformation into an amorphous sedentary  protoplasmic dullard. Not that there is anything wrong with that, then again I might just be an asshole today.

On a side note, I didn’t call but we are on facebook now. And I would rather spend that time interacting with you guys, the reader of this blog. If I will continue being honest, I must admit that I tend to use humor, non sequitor, and bad manners to keep certain people at bay lol.  I’m all about being sincerely friendly and sharing laughs/limp-wristed coffee drinks, and have fun.

Side note: I call my fellow classmate MrFacelessIncurious from a  line in a poem by Samuel Beckett a fellow Irishman. Here are the lines

what would I do without this world faceless incurious
where to be lasts but an instant
where every instant spills in the void
the ignorance of having been without
this wave where in the end
body and shadow together are engulfed

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Feb 7 2012

Bitterly Pressed: The War on Terror, Religion, and A Woman called Dick-sitter


The Beginning to My War On Rosa

Who is Rosa? She was the friend of an ex-lady of mine. Basically Rosa is a single mom with a son.  It was beautiful to see them together Rosa y su hijo. Beautiful, redeeming. I decided as the kid was getting on in age to get him a gift. I got him a series of great children’s books that were fun , entertaining, colorful and also like the bullshit illustrated Kama Sutra booklets we give as gifts to each other around Valentines                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                it was designed to help him learn key concepts about life without forsaking his sense of wonder. The books have been used at Montessori schools and as a educator felt it would be a good time for him to benefit from them. He loved it so much he wouldnt let his mama touch them and would sit and gaze at them for a while though he couldn’t read, sort like I do at the inverted-Cow girl pose in the afore mentioned valentine day booklet.

The War on Terror

During the war on terror I came across the works of Columbia Prof Edward Said  and thought that I shouldnt be as ignorant as I was. I thought that I should  further my knowledge on the middle east. Here is a quote from Said that started it for me

So far as the United States seems to be concerned, it is only a slight overstatement to say that Moslems and Arabs are essentially seen as either oil suppliers or potential terrorists. Very little of the detail, the human density, the passion of Arab-Moslem life has entered the awareness of even those people whose profession it is to report the Arab world. What we have instead is a series of crude, essentialized caricatures of the Islamic world presented in such a way as to make that world vulnerable to military aggression.

Heavy stuff. I thought I should educated myself best  as I could. It’s only right. So like everything, I immersed myself into the subject, Middle Easter History, religious expression , mystical traditions, Sufism. One day Rosa comes over sees these books all over the table, and kufi a friend gave me. I guess I must not have shaved for a week or more, because she imagined that I had converted to Islam. Obviously it made sense. I’m black, I work near Harlem, and the few black people she met were muslims so I must have converted.

She then stopped talking to me. I was one of the bad guys like Muhammad Ali, or Ice Cube or Dave Chappelle, Shaquille O’ Neal and ABC favorite doctor, Mehmet Oz – all evil Muslims hell bent on  destroying the fabric of American life. It was partly my fault too, I didn’t call french fries ‘Freedom Fries’, I didn’t have the flag hovering above my bed reminding me that I was fucking for the future greatness of America. She proceeded to talk to my then lady’s other friends. They all had an intervention and told my lady it wasn’t good for her to stay around me, I would beat her and make her were shawls and things around her head, and muslim kill babies!

Revenge a Dish to be Served Cold

It was eventually explained to this person that in fact I was just reading for personal edification, and also working with local groups and causes on facebook to promote dialogue between groups.  Rosa was told that I am just a black guy with a beard. At the time I wasn’t as mature as I am today, so every time I saw this person or heard that they were on the phone I let my acid tongue loose (Please keep in mind that my then lady was Mexican as was her friend Rosa:

________________

1. It’s getting Cold, Will you be burning a cross in your backyard?
2. You know if You bomb that black Church you could build up a few bodegas?
3. Chayanne is a terrible dancer?
4. Sabado Gigante is shit
5. Mark Anthony isn’t gonna stay with JLo
6. Stop Fucking calling, Government Cheese wont melt no matter how high you put the fire?
7. Kool-Aid really doesn’t have 100% Vitamin C?
8. How was the date, I didn’t know your legs stayed that widely open for so long?
9. If we run out of oil, can I just press the shit in your hair into the tank I have a funnel?
10. Univision is shit and so was Shakira‘s last Album – Her hips dont lie because she is a whore
[BTW As someone who like Shakira's music it hurt me to say that, but I felt it was imperative to assail every last bastion of her identity as a Latin American women]
11. Payless isn’t your friend, not even the blind would mistaken those for Tom’s
12. Your reading comprehension skills are as questionable as the paternity of your next child
13. I just did a hat dance and fucked up a perfectly good Sombrero
14. Ya Tu Sabe wasn’t a choice on the SAT’s
15. Press on nails make you look more like a bloated harpie not so much a seductive gap-toothed siren 
16. Don’t worry, They won’t ask you for your papers at the gym
17. If You turn over during you wont be constipated in the morning
18. If you’re gonna continue sticking your chin out like a boxer wear a bib

How She came to be called Dick Sitter

After being passed around like a joint at a basement party, she landed a bf 8 years younger than she was and about just as smart. I felt that I should stop being mean and let it go and I did. I heard through the grapevine that her new boytoy was the 1st cousin of her ex husband and I couldn’t resist. I said, “who are we to judge, at least when it comes to sitting on Dick she keeps it in the family” And low and behold a new name for Rosa was born, and it spread like wild fire.

In conclusion. I am a little sad that at the time I didn’t have the maturity to know that hurling insults at her every chance I could get for some time wouldn’t do anything. I should have known that just coming up with a seedy name that other people call her was a much better move.

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Jan 14 2012

Should I take off my shoe and Slap this person?


Hey My Peoples,

I am a bit indignant about something which may or may not have happened to me. I have a female co-worker from Argentina – the South American quagmire of racial identity. She sometimes sits in my office to have lunch and we talk about Buenos Aires, my favorite writer Borges, Diego Maradona, cocaine abuse and other soccer  related things. We have had some cool conversations over the last year.

Revitaligo has made me into a Lindt Valentine's Truffle

I ran and make it just in time  onto the train before the doors close and I see my co-worker and being an idiot go over to say hello. When she catches this mass of milk chocolate goodness (with a white chocolate center) coming towards her she pulls her  purse/pocketbook closer to her and stares ahead to avoid eye contact.  The train aside from 3 other people is empty all at the other end of the cart. I sort of stop in my tracks, a little hurt as this is someone who I have broken bread with, not literally as I eat soup a lot for lunch during the winter and she likes salads. Old school rules  of being a gentleman  stipulate that someone who you willingly eat with and is good company should be treated a certain way.

I'm not a crook, a boorish reprobate but not a CROOK

I have no interest in this woman sexually, I don’t want to put any stabs on her with the meat knife – that kind of fish looks like it will flake easily after its done. She is super skinny and barely 100lbs wet, it would be pendicular, vehicular, homicide.  I just found it kind of cold the pulling of the purse closer to the body I figure that my work ID, book bag  and copy of Orhan Pamuk‘s Istanbul Memories and the City  send the message that I am not a thief or a lowly miscreant.

So Question of the day :

Please let me know, in the mean time

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Dec 25 2011

The Genocide Game – France Turkey Revisionist History and the Many Flavors of the same Shit


I knew the deck of cards was tampered with when I realized that the 5 permanent member nation of the United Nations Security Council each in recent history have been responsible in many cases of Genocide, or inhuman treatment of either their own people or some other people. France and England  after years of assaulting each other took both their battle and vitriol to an international stage and out of the anguish that was colonialization America the was born. I don’t think I need to mention much about Mother Russia, the Bolshevik Revolutions, 1908 revolution, Stalin and the Cold War.  When I think of China I think of their efforts to help civilize the Tibetans, and their selling death-causing toothpaste.

What exactly is Genocide

I personally don’t like the how genocide is defined:

Article 2 of the the 1948 United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide defines genocide as “any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such: killing members of the group; causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life, calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; [and] forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.”

This definition is too narrow it doesn’t take into account races or groups of people not considered to be people which in America’s Case would be Blacks, Natives, and depending on the fashion trends at the time Japanese.

Also, more importantly there are many acts of hatred and international crimes against humanity that arent targeted at one group like slavery. Look at all the area in read on the map. That’s not one particular group or people. Children weren’t taken, only adults leaving I would imagine a wealth of children completely destitute.

New studies have found that Africa has the greatest genetic diversity amongst human beings. So there isn’t one over arching black race except at the Summer Olympics. Plus like the Olympics many countries took part in this: Portugal, Spain , England Spain, Belgium, Italy. Without their being a black Race there is no such thing as Racism. Same applies for Native American, they aren’t a race, and there is not many left to say otherwise.

History is Written by Victors for a Reason

As all the permanent members on the security counsel  have a pretty large nuclear arsenal I would be more than willing to guess that might rules, Turkey has earned it place in history to next to France England America Russia and China but one step below. Why you ask ? Probably because They aren’t an economic power that holds economic and political sway over foreign countries and former colonial economies. Other than that Turkey has made some serious contributed a lot:

Armenian Genocide The Armenian Genocide also called a host of other names refers to the deliberate and systematic destruction of the Armenian population of the Ottoman Empire during and just after World War I. It was implemented through wholesale massacres and deportations, with the deportations consisting of forced marches under conditions designed to lead to the death of the deportees. The total number of resulting Armenian deaths is generally held to have been between one and one and a half million

Assyrian Genocide The Assyrian Genocide was committed against the Assyrian population of theOttoman Empire during the First World War by the Young Turks. The Assyrian population of northern Mesopotamia was forcibly relocated and massacred by Ottoman forces between 1914 and 1920 under the regime of the Young Turks. This genocide is considered to be a part of the same policy of extermination as the Armenian Genocide and Greek genocide.

Greek Genocide The Greek Genocide refers to the fate of the Greek population of the Ottoman Empire during and in the aftermath of World War I (1914–1923). Like Armenians and Assyrians, the Greeks were subjected to various forms of persecution including massacres, expulsions, and death marches by Young Turks.

Dersim Kurds The Dersim massacre refers to the depopulation of Dersim in Turkish Kurdistan, in 1937-1938, in which approximately 65,000-70,000 Alevi Kurds were killed and thousands were driven into exile. A key component of the Turkification process was the policy of massive population resettlement.

I am not counting other acts and the general air of schadenfreude that pervaded the atmosphere of The Ottoman Empires existence. Fortunately for us The victors write history, they have the best infrastructure that allows them to write and decide what is true and what isnt. Victors also have the manpower and capacity to arrest, imprison and kill anyone who says contrary to the bowdlerized versions of history put out by

What’s Genocide Between Two Mass Murderers

I would think  having  both been responsible for the death and murders of Million  France and Turkey would have much common grounds to build a great friendship upon. They both formerly had empires, they killed millions of people. Yet it seems despite all of that France is too busy enjoying its moral somnolence while Turkey is too busy trying to create an image of itself that is palpable enough to allow it into the European Union. Here are two recent headlines that documented the slight riff between the playground bullies.

Turkey accuses France of genocide in Algeria

Turkey’s prime minister has accused France of having committed genocide during its colonial occupation of Algeria in the latest round of the worst diplomatic row between the two Nato allies in more than a century.

Erdogan said that about 15% of the Algerian population was massacred during the French occupation from 1945 to 1962. “They were mercilessly martyred. If Mr Sarkozy doesn’t know there was a genocide, he can ask his father, Pal Sarkozy … who was a legionnaire in Algeria in the 1940s.

French Assembly Approves Armenian Genocide Law as Turkey Lobbies
The law would punish denial of any genocide recognized by French law with as long as a year in prison and a 45,000-euro ($59,000) fine. The measure, presented by a member of President Nicolas Sarkozy’s party, has been rewritten to remove direct references to Turkey and Armenians. The French parliament voted in 2001 to recognize the World War I massacres of Armenians as genocide. In 2006, the lower house voted to criminalize its denial, though the bill later failed in the Senate.

As of today Turkey has suspended all  political and military relations with France in retaliation for the approval by the French parliament’s lower chamber of a measure that makes it a crime to deny genocide against Armenians a century ago.

Lesson We can all Learn from This

Firstly it sucks to be a victim of Genocide, has anyone seen a Native American ? It’s great to be a mass murder and part of the World’s Security Council and also to wield an morally irresponsible amount of power in the European Union. This allows you to call other people out for their crimes while continuing to  be forgetful about your own like killing 10-15% of a country population in about 17 years.

While a few weeks ago Turkey broke the a taboo on its official rhetoric about the Dersim killings and admitted genocide, the country still rejects Armenian claims of genocide at the hands of the Ottoman Empire during the World War I period. Armenians say that up to 1.5 million of their kin fell victim to genocide in 1915, when the Armenian community across the country was driven from their homes. Turkey refuses to categorise the 1915 killings as genocide, and counters that only 300,000 to 500,000 Armenians were killed.

I am confidant that one day though The Armenian Genocide will be recognized especially when there are impactfully engaged celebrities engaged in promoting Armenian culture like the Kardashians.

I would like to take a pause and congratulate the French who have made fashion and couture, fine living so popular while making us forget that there  is cost someone (usually someone else) has to bear.  At the end of the day does it matter, France or turkey or America ? Its the same story that’s been playing out for centuries, same flavor of horse shit different vendors

 

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