These are the Books I am Reading .. should I share thoughts/clips

Tinkers

Impossible Exchange

Home and Exile

Little Birds

Monelle

The Undiscovered Self

Hey Everyone,

As you can tell from my lack of manners and the number of times I’ve exposed my self to consenting adults(females) in public, I read a lot. Those things you called social skills have in a variety of odd direction without the light of social acceptability to guide it both on the and to the straight path. For the past few months I didn’t read anything. But now the insatiable lust to know and understand consumes me yet again and so here we are , or rather like a maiden at your doorstep enticing you with the ill-wrought fruit plucked only moments ago from the conceptually antediluvian but ever ubiquitous Tree of Knowledge.I am like a modern version of Claude Frollo – was a highly knowledgeable but morose young man- but only bigger blacker and a member of the balls deep all-stars.

I’m sorry I went off on a tangent.

So let me know, should I share some clips, share some thoughts, do you want to go even deeper into my mind?  Deeper is better …

 

Extemporaneous Speaking: MrMary Why Do You Do off the Wall Stuff like take picture of Yourself on the toilet

Ok everyone I have worked a long day and it’s 3:47 in the morning I have to be up soon and I am beyond, so stay with me

One consequence of spending a lot of time alone is that you become familiar with these moments of intersection I like to call them, where that inner voice in your head, that voice that speaks for your heart, and the voice that speaks for your loins, all sound the same. You cannot tell whether you want or need something, you cannot tell whether you are asleep being ever so slowly lulled by the gentle rhythms of emergent images all fantastic just beyond their plain superficial ordinary-ness, you cannot tell whether or not you are moving or stationary because everything whether it is the children playing just beyond the glass of the window or your books, figurine or whatever, passing relic you surround yourself with, right in front of your seems unfairly unreachable.

You dont have the patience to wait, but you dont have a choice, being alone with the experience of alone-ness dictates that you will be forced at some point to that moment afterwards of complete cessation. All the voices go louder and louder till there is nothing to said or a space to say it in, and from that unimaginably lofty position, you know things. You know that that 100lbs or more body that you carry around through the avenues of your life is just that, something you carry around. You also are born into the fact that the face you wear, the personality you have is just an accoutrement, it’s just a decoration, a mark of distinction for whatever it is you are. The right before you are completely taken by the singleness of the moment, you find yourself back here.

And where are you ?

Your in a place where the word on the page are more meaningful than the empty spaces. Where we have titles, were every single action is a transaction bringing us closer to a kind or arrogant solipsism. It’s quite easy to get lost in being called Prof, its even simpler to get lost at someone giving you that kind of smile you always wanted but even received when it happens on the A train heading deeper and deeper into the heart of the city.

It’s not too long before you forgotten that quiet, the singular quietude  you were forced into  however long ago it was.  You’re back to thinking the mask you were and body you drag around are all that there is to you. The Mask and Manteau

I like to remind myself, that this is all a game. I like to remind myself that in enough time, I will be old and peeing in a bag and no one except chicks with gerontic fetishes will want to fuck me. A little while longer after that there will be no trace of my having been here. One of the keenest expressions of mortality is it’s own dismissal.

Maybe there is some meaning in bringing it to the forefront in a conscious way by taking a picture blogging on a toilet in an uncomfortable state of undress.

The last words always belong to someone else, in this case Shakespeare,

Thou hast nor youth nor age,
But, as it were, an after-dinner’s sleep,
Dreaming on both: for all thy blessed youth
Becomes as aged, and doth beg the alms
Of palsied eld; and when thou art old and rich
Thou hast neither heat, affection, limb, nor beauty,
To make thy riches pleasant. What’s yet in this
That bears the name of life? Yet in this life
Lie hid more thousand deaths: yet death we fear,
That makes these odds all even.

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

 

Lecturing tonight here is something for ya till I return & Want a PostCard from MrMary

While my lady was sleeping I took out my harmonica, my actual  harmonica not a double entendre though it is hard to get out once it’s in the box. I decided to singer her a song, an obnoxious  song. I played off key, I just blew I made all sorts of noise.  She tried to hit me  because well she is a light sleeper and woke up early  to walk the dogs. In my defense, I work a lot so I didn’t want her to feel all alone, and I thought this would be a cool way to vocalize/communicate my affections. here’s the song

Postcard for my Readers from Me!

I love post cards  and I love sending them and giving them out to friendly people. It’s nice well  I think it could be a nice reminder that even though we only interact from behind a screen we are real people too. Everyone loves getting mail, sometimes from negros with overdeveloped arms, like myself. Tell me if you’d like a post card with a special personalized message on it from MrMary MF Poppins.

 

Last but not least a reminder that

you can buy almost anything nowadays

 

 

 

Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Bacon sunscreen and bacon condoms

J&D Foods, famous for products such as Baconnaise, is set to launch a line of bacon-scented sunscreen and bacon-flavored (and shaped) condoms. The condoms are designed to “make your meat look like meat.” Clever. Both products will be shipped this summer, but if you can’t wait until then, check out some of the company’s other crazy, meat-themed products.

A brief Reflection

I predict that 24-hour diners and breakfast spots will profit greatly from the Bacon Condom. Afterwards I am always hungry and devoid of essential nutrients mostly water, proteins and self respect. I cannot tell you afterwards how many times I said, if I could include or work some bacon heart clogging  into this scenario maybe I would feel better about myself, might as well reward my five minutes of hard-work and sweat. In the worse case scenario my body will be recharged enough to fuel more unsuccessful attempts at making my lady happy. Btw I think my meat already looks like meat, hence the slang euphemism tube steak, replace the delicate marbling of your favourite cut of meat with lattice like ramifications of angiogenesis (the physiological process through which new blood vessels form from pre-existing vessels)

I have no experience with sunscreen, other than being overwhelmed by it on public transportation when work forces me into contact with the economic strata so blinding as to be made invisible from my modest living. I imagine the bacon sunscreen would put the housing impaired demographics – stray dogs cats people, into a frenzy when the wearer passed by.

Finally

Ultimately nothing says we are a nation of privilege and excess more than  bacon flavored and shaped condom and bacon-scented sunscreen. While people around the world die of starvation we amuse and perhaps entertain ourselves by juxtaposing nuances of gustatory over indulgence in intimate settings.

Related articles

• Bacon Sunscreen & Bacon Condoms, Yes I Said Bacon Condoms (burgerbeast.com)
• Bacon condoms, sunscreen hit the market (wcpo.com)
• New bacon products: Sunscreen, condoms (kshb.com)
• Flavor Wizards Behind Bacon Salt And Siracha Lip Balm Announce Bacon Condoms (consumerist.com)
• Company offers bacon-flavored condoms… (foxnews.com)
• bacon condoms (brandflakesforbreakfast.com)
• Bacon-Flavored Condoms Filled With “baconlube” Exist (gawker.com)
• Would You Try Bacon Condoms? (counselheal.com)
• Bacon Craze Grows with Condoms, “Mouthwash” (nbcnewyork.com)

Continuing the Conversation about Health, Losing Weight and Fat shaming (1)

I thought I would share some more thoughts on health. I got many responses on my post:My Responce to The Fear of Fat by Laments &Lullabies Blog and thought it be nice amidst all the stuff I’m gearing up to post to explain my thoughts on a few key terms to keep the conversation going. I figure I would make this a two part thing first briefly share some thoughts and then show you how I put them into practice

Health

Health to me is a multifaceted thing.I think unfortunately in the West we equate health to a person falling into a narrow range of body shapes and sizes. Health  has many components really as I see it health has a mental psychological physical and spiritual component. When any one component is neglected the entire person’s constitution is put in jeopardy. We (society) makes a great mistake I feeling treating  each component of health separately,they are in fact related more than we care to admit. My mental attitude affects my hormonal levels which in turn can have serious ramifications for my emotional state and long term physical health. I make sure to work out not only my body but my mind as well. I read a lot and engage people in conversation. I also spend two evenings a weeks dedicated to meditation. My phone is off, my eyes are closed my mind is as clear as can be.  There  are many exercises I do that I can share that have helped me maintain a good state of health holistically.

UnHealthy

This is another gratuitous term. What makes someone one healthy ? If we are talking strictly physiological health then we have to take into account how different everyone’s body is,we have to take into context our jobs,family life, stress level. etc Looking at someone isn’t enough to justify some diagnosis of them being in poor health. I mean you have to  run a battery of tests (blood work, fecal and urine sample,blood pressure readings, a whole bunch of things.)  to ascertain where this person is physiologically and also to ascertain why you see what you see …. etc I think the language we use to talk about health is part of what entraps us in these limited mind-sets.

Fat

The word fat has no value  really when it comes  to describing someone,it is so relative a term. Fat as a nutrient is very important to your body’s proper functioning. I believe that the fat content of the human brain is about 60%, to give you an example. Consumed in moderation is not harmful. There are dangers that come with consuming to much fat, that same can be said for Flintstone Vitamins

LosingWeight

This is a topic where there is much ignorance and disinformation. In my mind I equate losing weight with reducing my percentage body fat. Some people in their quest to lose weight do serious damage to their  bodies and in turn their minds, psychology etc.  To me my main desire is to be the best version of myself, and to be self-reliant. I cannot be self-reliant without having confidence in myself. Every time I set a goal  whether it is to smile at one passer-bye or lift x amount of weight above my head I am exercising my willing and I am reinforcing my will. I have always felt that if I am sincere in my intentions and  have something worth working for then I will be successful.MY starting  and ending definition of success maybe different. If you don’t feel good about yourself, if you haven’t accepted yourself warts and all then being self-reliant,being strong, you cannot grow I feel.

It’s 4:04 Am ladies and gents  and I have to sleep, more on this tomorrow

A Friendly Prompt – Shout out to Marj and all my readers

“The crazy ones only laugh when there is no reason to laugh.”
― Charles Bukowski

I used to get in trouble a lot for laughing. I in fact still do. Many times I have no rational reason  to laugh and that itself is a source of laughter. Other times there is a reason but no one finds that reason funny. Let me give you an example:

Friend: Hey Dave, saw a teaching job you might like
Dave: Uhm… I’m guessing prep school
Friend: Yeah, coed prep school in the city
Dave: < Laughter >

Friend: What’s so funny
Dave: If i apply and get hired I will get only half the salary

Friend: Why ? I dont see it
Dave: Well a coed prep school in the city means $$$ …  and a different demographic…. Im going to have to pay brolic looking lesbian to accompany me everywhere
Friend: I don’t get it

Dave: You’re a pasty looking over weight man, prematurely balding. Why don’t you eat your lunches on the benches at the play ground and see how quick everyone thinks you’re a child molester… now imagine you have a very masculine lesbian sitting next to you eating humus and dry bread because she is that tough

Friend: You have a point I guess…. Uhm…so does that mean you wont apply…
Dave: Sure I will just, need to remember to wash my hands after I self-pollute, that way my sperm wont end up on someone’s homework and I get an unsubstantiated rape charge <raucous laughter>

Friend:  … ??? …..

I think we think we have a lot of time on this earth. 60 years seems a long time when you’re experimenting with your sexuality and gag reflexes in college, I wouldn’t know, that’s just what picked up from Cosmo while on line at the grocery. Then of course your mid 30′s hit, some of your classmates have passed on to the great beyond. Your body feel different, etc then 60 or 85 isnt that far off. A human life is not that long I dont feel, and I am not counting the hours we are awake physically and metaphorically. An average human being is awake for maybe an hour in a life time perhaps? Well there is sleeping, eating, post- coital stillness, commuting… most of our life is accounted for before we get a chance to plan to do anything significant.  Don’t forget the time and effort spent hating eat other, discriminating against each other, abuse animals, littering etc.

I was awake today for a minute

I stumbled onto a post about me not written by me or my ex-gfs (court order) but by a blogger: Marj of Bohemian Sentiments.  She said nice things about me and it  roused me from the somnambulism that people mistake for daily life. I got so used to the stares and the awkward silences and the lady’s grabbing their purses when I enter the elevator, and the whole I can’t date you openly because my family wouldn’t approve of your being black  but if you want to.. thing, that I forgot that there are some people, a select few people out there who enjoy my company, and words.

I guess growing up Roman catholic compliments and an unperturbed anus are both frowned upon by the establishment, you know what the priest say: spare the rod spoil the child. Sorry I am being petulant, I do that when I get compliments in a public manner. It takes the heat off me.

Seriously Now

I dont know what to say really, so I will recite a quote:

“They say there is a doorway from heart to heart, but what is the use of a door when there are no walls?”
― Rumi

It’s amazing to look back and see how so many people around the world are connected to so many other people. I really felt for Marj when I learned that her father had passed. I felt moved by the sadness and pain of another person I hadn’t met. Thats the power I think of sincerity of emotion and sincerity in communicating them, if you are open to it, you can be moved. When I look out at the world I see that we all build more and more barriers  to prevent the activities and words of another from moving us. I really feel that we are all connected, not in the hallmark or a limited religious definition of connection, but in something that is much deeper and more profound.

Death is a difficult topic and subject. It forces us to ascertain to what extent are we alive, it also forces us to deal with loss in a real way other than building barrier to better protect ourselves from being drawn in the depths of the human experience.   I don’t think that Marj should be thanking me, we should be thanking her  and everyone that openly shares their pain and grief. Because in doing so they invite us into a deeper experience of being alive if we choose to accept the invitation.

I’ll tell you a secret. I may spoon out the sugar, here on the blog but the secret is that the sugar is given to me from all these nice invitations I get from you guys the reader to enter into a deeper experience of being alive and a human being really.

here is the post just in case you

MrMary Reads: What’s the WORST book to read on a trip through the US?

No one reads anymore. This is what I told my sister as I reached for my book on the way to the Airport. I was determined to continue the life long process of educating myself. Well I am a teacher and an avid bibliophile. I read many books sometimes in a single week.

This time I had reached for the book I had read the least of for that week and it was the worst book one could pick as one travels through America, also know as ‘Murica !!!!!.

Let me give you some quotes:

BuzzKill # 1

“Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn’t nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.”

Buzz Kill # 2

“…most men and women will grow up to love their servitude and will never dream of revolution.”

Buzz Kill # 3

“A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.”

But here is the passage that really turned got me thinking in such a way that lead to my making a big decision about my career and why I came to work 3 hours late today because I was playing my harmonica and dancing around my living room with a glow stick.

here it is:

“And that”, put the Director sententiously, “that is the secret of happiness and virtue – liking what you’ve got to do. All conditioning aims at that: making people like their unescapable social destiny.”

That one is the one that haunted me on my trip.  It followed me on my trip to Vegas and all over Los Angeles  and back to NYC.

Seriously Now

I decided to really change my career up and do something different. I have tried for years to like what I do at first it was because well I do good at it. Then I said to myself well I am trained at this and it would be too difficult to start something new. I said to myself then I got bills student loans to pay and I need money $$$.

and so here I am at work writing blog posts, doing other work, and  a whole host of stuff. Yes of course work gets done and it gets done well to the best of my ability but at the end of the day I’ve never liked what I had to do and always questioned why i had to do it ? I challenged authority a lot etc. So it was kinda funny to see myself sorta chain to this life where I don’t feel I’m fully living. I have to wait till night time or sneak time from other things to do what I like etc.

So I am gonna change all that and will keep you posted. It should be fun and I am excited

Question of the day

Has there been anything you ever read or saw that acted as a serious catalyst for change ?

 

Related articles

• Happy 200th Anniversary, ‘Pride and Prejudice!’ (fitnessandfrozengrapes.com)

 

Funny Videos that unexplicably make me laugh (1)

I dunno why these videos  makes me laugh.  I think it’s because I have an overly developed sense of humor and spent to much time alone as a child

Pranks that aren’t Funny

This one I didn’t find funny at all. One time my lady was shampooing and conditioning her hair with some extremely oily shit ( for rejuvenation of hair or some shit)  and as I was getting into the shower I slipped because  the hair blocking the drain made the water go down slow and  co everything was coated with  a residue of conditioner. I fucking snapped all my shit up

This could have gotten wrong and gotten some dudes beat down.

Bitterly Pressed Christmas Edition: 10 Things to Do In Bed This Christmas

DISCLAIMER: Side Note: I havent done this in a bit. One of my kick ass readers asked me to do one again and I complied. This may be a little to much vitriol for most of you please read with caution

The Bitterly Pressed is an institution here on the blog. It is something I’ve been doing for  a year now. It’s a subtle joke, cause a self awareness of own’s bitterness is a means of it’s repudiation. It makes this sort of a meditation on a non-existant state of being which is to me the human condition project through the lens of absurdity and slightly distorted for comic effect. Anyways.

Basically I used make fun of the Freshly Pressed thing. Unfortunately I have come to know many of you who have been Freshly Pressed and I see now that you are not a the single function unit growing army of sycophantic reprobates hell-bent on precipitating mass mediocrity through the assertion of your pitiful existence by your gratuitous acts of self-referentiality.  Some of you, many of you are really nice human beings. So I had to change my approach and methodology.

An Unfortunate Article

I read an unfortunate article on the Huffington post called: 10 Things to Do In Bed This Christmas. After the first suggestion I screamed outloud “Bullshit” and fucked up everyone’s shit who lives here. But I thought I would be real and tell things as they are. The article is for newly wed which makes it all the better. So here it is:

6.

Realistic Things to Do In Bed

This Christmas if your Newly Wed

Males:

 

Masturbate. While you toss-off repeat to yourself outloud, NO!!!  over and over again. Preparing for and getting a taste of unfulfillment and disappointment is the best way to insure a long uneventful marriage aside from raising children that will lock you away in a cold dark etherized home when your excessive talking becomes annoying.

________________________________________

Take a picture of your penis.  You will work many long hours to provide if you are a real man, and yet you will find coming home to be just another regimented enclosure, another type of prison, where you have no privacy and are reduced to only a means for other peoples sensual and monetary fulfilment. Your only solace will be found at the bottom of a pint. The more solace you find the less like you’re going to be able to see your dick underneath all the chins and stomached you’ve  acquired. Every time you try to wear a belt you will be making fun of circles everywhere and the institution of geometry. Frame the picture of what you fav part use to look like.

________________________________

Watch Holiday movies in bed. Coax your soul into believing in a debased herd mentality that celebrates presents without substance, overtime work without meaning, and people reduced down to ideological vehicle like the paper money is printed, inherently worthless outside the extremely narrow limits of monetary transaction. Give up all individuality and soul you have at once, dont spend time picking at the band-aid

Women :

Read a lot of books on dog training if you plan to not abandoning your career for the sake of those this ankle biting fucktards that are your children. Start learning how hiring a staff of stranger can give your child the attention and love. learn to speak patois so your Caribbean female help  cant insult you and talk about you behind your back. And it will also help facilitate bartering the prices for sexual favors when you travel abroad for work away from your husband getting death-stroke by some fit Negro who exist only for someone else’s economic and sexual gains.

___________________________________________

Nothing Beats the Classics

Look for and book mark online store that specialize in sexual toys. When your husband is late and you spent all day talking to the air or the empty hallways of your mind about how much more you wanted from life, at least you can blast some color back into your face so you can make the farce that you call a life look more believable.

__________________________________________

Read up on Biotech companies and new discoveries in plastics. By the time you are old, and your husband has passed from some lethal combo of congestive heart failure from being so fat and colon cancer for never coming close enough to vegetables to be able to spell it correctly, if you have invested and saved wisely you just maybe able to afford to entertain the likes of a young sexually vigorous male and a new plastic face

Other Bitterly Pressed Episodes:

1. Bitterly Pressed Fall Edition: Here’s a Hot Cup of Hate for WordPress’s Freshly Pressed
2. Bitterly Pressed: The Best that Autumn has to Offer
3. Bitterly Pressed: Notes on the Toilet After a day as a Vegan
4. Bitterly Pressed: The Market’s Loose Women Selection Has Improved Lately (Humor)
5. Bitterly Pressed: The War on Terror, Religion, and A Woman called Dick-sitter
6. Bitterly Pressed: 10 Things I Wont Do in 2012 Part 1
7. I have this shame that won’t go – A Satirical Open Letter to WordPress about Freshly Pressed

 

 

ASpoonfulofSuga Vlog: Talking and Thinking Aloud 12.09.2012 …. (Say Hello To my Dog Happy)

Another Bed / Charles Bukowski

another bed
another women

more curtains
another bathroom
another kitchen

other eyes
other hair
other
feet and toes.

everybodys looking.
the eternal search.

you stay in bed
she gets dressed for work
and you wonder what happened
to the last one
and the one after that…
it’s all so comfortable-
this love making
this sleeping together
the gentle kindness…

after she leaves you get up and use her
bathroom,

it’s all so intimate and strange.
you go back to bed and
sleep another hour.

when you leave its with sadness
but you’ll se her again
whether it works or not.
you drive down to the shore and sit
in your car. it’s almost noon.

-another bed, other ears, other
ear rings, other mouths, other slippers, other
dresses

colors, doors, phone numbers.

you were once strong enough to live alone.
for a man nearing sixty you should be more
sensible.

you start the car and shift,
thinking, I’ll phone Jeanie when I get in,
I haven’t seen her since Friday.

Link to article about the dropping of classic Literature: http://news.yahoo.com/classic-literature-dropped-high-schools-favor-informational-texts-082338135.html

Related articles

• Behind the Scenes of ASpoonFulofSuga: The Sweetness Behind the Sarcasm (aspoonfulofsuga.wordpress.com)
• All I want for Christmas is… (aspoonfulofsuga.wordpress.com)
• A Video Message from MrMary (aspoonfulofsuga.wordpress.com)
• Who Needs A Relationship When You Can Just Go To A Cuddle Party? (aspoonfulofsuga.wordpress.com)

 

MrMary PumpsIron & Answers: How do I figure how many calories when cutting Down (1)

Hey Guys and Dolls

I was asked today how do I figure out how many calories I should cut out of my diet when cutting down. By cutting down I mean reducing my percentage body fat. Here is how I do it

Basic Ideas

As far as my understanding or experience goes, I need to be in a calorie deficit to reduce my percentage Body fat. First I should have a clear estimate how how many calories a day I need to maintain my current weight. How do I do that?  I personally use a site similar to this one http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

Basically you enter your age, height, gender, exercise level etc and then they calculate  your daily caloric intake.

To maintain my weight I need to consume 3227 calories a day. If I want lose at a slow steady pace I can aim to eat 2581 calories a day. If I want to go for extreme fat loss then 2000. I keep 2500 as my upper limit. It makes it easier that way for me in my head to keep track of how many calories I am eating. Armed with this information if I know my percent body fat I am all set. For the sake of argument let’s say I’m 20% body fat. That means my lean body mass (sans fat) weighs about 200lbs and the weight of the fat in my body is 50 lbs.  I know in my head that I would need to lose 28 lbs of fat to be at a lean 20% body fat. Approximately 1lb of fat is equivalent to 3500 calories lost, if I scale back my calorie restriction  500 cals/day that means ideally I will lose approximately 1 lbs a week and it will take me 28 weeks to reach my target. There is more to be said especially baout amcro nutrient distrubtion but more on that later

I should note again that this is just approximate. These methods are not exact. And because I can be sued please listen up:

DISCLAIMER: Please do not follow my anything you read here. For information on dieting and working out please consult with your primary care physician who will refer you to a nutritionist that will give you professional advise. Here I am telling you the reader how I approach things. This not advise or a professional opinion. Do whatever want to do just leave me the fuck out of it. You’ve been fucking warned.

 

MrMary Pumps Iron: Shit that I hate to see in the Gym

Edward Hotspur aka Eddie Mac aka Eddie Money posted a horrible experience he had in the gym today in his post: Guy At The Gym You Suck . That got me fired up so I’m fixin to get into it right bout now with my own list.

Shit I hate at the Gym

1. People who spit in the water fountain -  When I find you I will slam your face into it . It’s just nasty hocking up all kinds of nasty shit and spitting in a place where people drink water. Completely unhygenic
2. 

   if it was only that that stank , ya dirty mutha fucka

   Let’s be honest: You fucking stink. You know it, I know it. No amount of AXE Body Spray is going to cover it up. Every time you walk buy there is a cloud of funk that follows you and everyone starts fucking coughing.

3. 
4. You can pick up skanks any time and any place, on your own time though not at the gym!!! seriously. You were excessively tight shirts no muscles tho and pose around staring down chics. Move the fuck out of the way and off the fucking machines. Staring and then tossing off in the bathroom doesn’t fucking make it a more comfortable environment to work out in.
5. If  you see me there waiting for you to finish, after u told me you had two sets left and you start a conversation with your friend and block me from having access to what I’m doing, know that I am suppressing an intense need to cave your fucking face in with right cross.
6. Ok ladies, men are by nature immature, and childish. If you roll up in the gym with yoga pants 3 sizes to small, with a really low cut tank top that you’re almost spill out of and you decide to run on the treadmill, and especially the treadmill in the front where errbody has to pass you’re out your fucking mind. Every guy starts posing, puffing out the chest trying to compete for your herpes infested syphilitic attention. This in turn makes me have to deal with more knuckle-headed shit to get access to the shit I need to use.
7. You cannot ask me shit in the middle of a lift  and you cannot critique my form on the last set of a drop set on my 3rd exercise when I’m larger than you
8. Ok if you are taking 5 minute to fill your water bottle to the top while there is a line forming behind you you’re an asshole.
9. I’m  impressed at how you can make any machine into an abs work out. But come on leg raises on an incline bench press, that what I’m waiting for in between sets?
10. Sunglasses mutha-fucka inside the gym ?
11. Why are you moaning like you just busted all kinds of nuts using 20 lbs dumb bells?
12. Dudes in the locker room taking pictures and giggling and shit, sounds a little off, like we’re inside the trojan horse just looking for shit to do till we come out the ass and go kill some trojans

Ok that’s it I just had to vent

MrMary