Finally It’s Time: Mr. Mary Returns a little inebriated but Happy !!!

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep…that have taken hold.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but

I am at a lavanderia about a week and change ago and this drunkard homeless man comes up to me smiling  and says in a heavy spanish accent: ” Happy New Year My King” He offers to shake my hand but I don’t. He looks really drunk and my lady is nearby so I cross my arms and look him in the eye. He says, “it’s OK My friend, I’m clean he extends his hand and I smile and give him the NYC fist bump.

He goes on to tell me that the señora in charge of the lavanderia locked the bathroom so he cant use it. Now he has to go on the floor like an animal, but he is rich. Why well because he is a king. He is free he tells me. He wanted to wish me and my lady well, “one king to another”, he says. He says that he knows I’ll understand what he’s telling me because I am a king too.

but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set

This is the third time in my life that I have been called king or refer to as a king. Of course I am a Leo and my Name is David and I have heard that king David shit for a while now but I mean by strangers who don’t know my name or me. This is significant, because  right now as you are reading these words you are in my court, and instead of hovering over you in judgement I am inviting you to a new era and bountiful time for my imagined and virtual kingdom.

The King has Returned

I really needed this vacation. I rested relaxed and finally had a moments peace to look back on all I have done and accomplished the last 7 years which was the last time and first time I ever took a vacation in my life. My vision has been experienced. Yes of course I have grown wiser and have more grey hairs  to show for it. But the most important thing is that my vision is clear and I know now more what I need and want from life.

I have travelled the world… But now I must journey  further inwards… to what I really fear… it’s inside me … there is no turning back.  My training is nothing but the will to continue on is  everything. A wise man once told me that  if I made yourself more than just a man, if I devoted myself to an ideal, I’d become something else entirely. I’m ready to begin ……

beneath the clothes, we find a man… and beneath the man we find… his… nucleus.

Seriously now …

I am back in NYC for some days now . It was 70-80F in California where I was and I came back home to 16F  and snow. The dogs were happy to see me, everyone else I guess now they have someone to carry their heavy ass shit so they were sorta happy. Vacationing has opened my eyes to a lot of things and I will be sharing them over the next few day while of course doing what it is that I do here ( What do I do here again)

I want to thank everyone for the well wishes and for making me feel sexy and wanted. While I am easy unfortunately for you I ave so many layers on it wouldn’t be worth the time for me to thank you so personally so here’s to you: Click this ( this is nothing perverted, just a cool show of respect and appreciation)

 

 

 

An Inappropriate Guide to Intimacy New Years Eve Night

Today New’s Years Eve has been considered the one of the days of the year that it is easiest to get laid and by getting laid I mean sloppy trying to come to turns with bad coordination a lack of lubrication and foppishly fumbling to find the correct orifice. Yes it said that this typically is what passes for sex on New Years eve.

But out of the goodness of my heart I have decided look past my own physical discomfort and slight body pain to pen this for you. No need to thank me just follow my guide and  pass it on to another person. Lets get started!

MrMary’s Guide to Intimacy New Years Eve Night

Sex can be great and a wonderful experience, but if you are lucky enough to not be having sex with yourself tonight and another being will be there with you, and not just passively watch you masturbate (that’s marriage), but participate here are something to keep in mind.

Warning For Gentleman and Ladies

Also ladies whatever you do  please do not set high standards of performance or likeability for tonight. write a note to yourself and put it on your bathroom mirror so the next morning you wont freak out when you wake up and are sore , have stretch marks around your mouth and or have a  sprained wrist. Your low standards and subconscious curiosity may just have lead you into the over enthusiastic embrace of a gang-bang.

_____________

Gentleman,

If you have both been drinking DO NOT have sex or even talk about it. Go home and rub a few out to whatever re-run there happens to be on TV. If you are in America don’t worry, every American sitcom has a character male or female who is attractive sexually frustrated and doesn’t have the brain cells necessary to do more than maintain some personal hygiene habits.  If it must happen go out tonight with people who can corroborate your story everyone has a depressed friend  who is not going to get any even if he paid for it. Use him! Include him in your activities have him text you every hour once you pick the lady up. This will help in court

With That Out of the Way

I generally know no one will will listen to my suggestions so here it is lets get into it. Some music to set the mood that will contrast with what I am saying and provide this post with absurdity and the situational Irony you’ve so desperately needed since I have been away.

It’s like a jungle atmosphere And we’re two monkeys baby It’s like we’re on a vine The way we’re swinging it baby See, you’re a tiger girl The way you’re scratching me I’m a lion In this jungle I’m a king Girl, I got you so wet It’s like a rain forest Like Jurassic Park Except I’m your sex-a-saurus baby

# 1

This is the year the Christmas and New years Time when a lot of people are in the depths of despair. You are too but you don’t realize it because you’ve been conditioned to love the status quo. This is not the time to try anal, it will be shitty and let me tell you why. Sphincter control and alcohol consumption are not best friends. In fact they hate each other and cant be in the same room together. I heard perhaps the most disgusting new years eve sex story in my life a few days ago. You will thank me. I know your think just going for anal will be a protection in a way from those wrong hole accidents, but no for the sake of those awkward moments the next day and strange stickiness you will indubitably investigate, dont do it.

———–

Baby take your mind into a zone
Imagine that we all alone
Two ways are off and our friends are gone
Now it’s just you and me getting it on
Take my hand and come with me
Let’s indulge in fantasies
Cast your cares and worries
While we fall into this ecstasy

I’m gonna rub your body, so baby just relax
You’ve been pouring out your loving, so now its time to pour it back

#2

Ladies go easy on the oral, you’re already feeling nauseous and queasy from having to balance on those clear high heels you love so much while drinking, take this as a time to perfect your form and not try to win gold medals.

Guys – if you drink like I think and know you are, you will only be able to intermittently have an erection. Your coordination will be off, again take it easy work on your stroke, save the ball deep action or the death-stroke  for the next morning when you decide if the other person is is physically attractive enough for actual sexy-time. Bottom line there will be no grand finale or finish for either of you just enjoy the ride as bumpy and nauseating as it is.

———–

Girl, the time has come
To show and prove
I’ve seen enough I wanna feel the truth
Put your voodo on me babe
Kiss my lips
And curse me babe
Show me how you do your magic babe
Lead me to your secret jungle babe

3 #

Carry hygiene necessities  on your person before you leave the house, the next morning you can freshen up and the goodbye kiss won’t taste like sperm, ball-sack, and other assorted bodily fluids, cigarettes, beer, and cheap vodka.

Try to tidy up a bit right afterwards. Shower or just clean yourself off in the sink. It will help in the morning especially if you have to rush off somewhere. You don’t wont to be the guy/girl on public mass transit or in a taxi cab that sticks up the joint because you smell like you had sex and it dried up all on you and marinated (dry marination)

_______

Finally

Don’t Worry about the other person judging you, your both nasty and inhibited.  Enjoy your  decent into the seeming moral somnolence you have denied yourself for years.  Also anything you are going to engage in sexual activity please use protection. I don’t mean UV sunglasses or holy water which I should have used on some women in the past.

How does it Feel ?

How does it feel
How does it feel
Said I wanna know how does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel

I wanna stop
Silly little games U and me play
And I am feeling right on ……………..

Sarcasm, Bitterly Pressed, & Poem from Jimenez

Te deshojo como una rosa
para verte tu alma,
y no la vi.

Mas todo en torno
- horizontes de tierras y de mares -
todo, hasta el infinito,
se colma de una esencia
immensa y viva.

This is one of my favourite poems by Jimenez. I will include the translation from Robert Bly because mine isn’t as good

I took off petal after petal, as if you were a rose, in order to see your soul, and I didn’t see it. However, everything around- horizons of fields and oceans- everything, even what was infinite, was filled with a perfume, immense and living.

It may seem odd in an article about sarcasm to have such a poem from a Nobel Prize winning poet. But there is something very important in this poem that I would like to point out that is sort of central to the way I approach life in a way.

Perhaps this is why I am good at science but, I like to take things apart. I like to strip things down. The few toys I got when I was younger I would always take apart. Immediately to see how they worked. I think the idea of breaking something down to understand the relationships between its constituents is very important. Not just in science but with the world around us. Everything we see I feel is there for a reason. I do not mean fate.

Let me  give you an example. They have been playing Christmas song non-stop. Many of these songs talk about a white Christmas, snowing and something which isn’t as much as a reality to many of us thanks to global warming. Immediately when I heard the song I thought  imagine if there was no long white Christmas  and snow and blistering cold temperatures, would we change the Christmas songs around  to reflect that. I am inclined to say no because for years of association Its grown into a habit to listen to those songs.The songs are part of the marketing gimmick also to get us to open our wallets and spend. Case and point, many things we are do as a society ar not based in reality. Reality is not our friend.

So thinking about this and stripping away suppositions, and ideologies and behaviour patterns is in many ways like taking off petal after petal of a rose.  As some point whether you have come to a conclusion or not you are saturated with an experience of modern day human behaviour. The critical denuding and stripping away, the deconstruction is really a set up for an experience of reality that we normally shelter ourselves from.

Sarcasm

Sarcasm  means literally (if you look at the Greek root word, the tearing of flesh name similar words like caustic, or sarcoplasmic.. But sarcasm initially before stand up comedy became big , back in the day was a way to shock people into thinking about something they had preconceived notions about.

Diogenes used to walk around at noon time with a candle saying he was looking for a real man. This was very sarcastic and most people took it as a rebuke, inside of joining him in the p[philosophical inquiry. What is a real man, What is man ? What do I define as realness, is that 'realness ' perceptible by the 5 sense, what are the means through which I can have an experience of realness not only in my out personal life but in social and communal life.

I write the bitterly press in this fashion.

I take my thoughts my reflection and my analysis of things and share it with you in a very sarcastic and bitter way.  Some people are offended like when I wrote my last bitterly pressed this about marriage. First couple of bitterly pressed post, I decided to make fun of the WordPress platform then I moved on to make fun  about chicks passed out behind dumpsters and many other things.  No matter how dirty or disgusting or sarcastic sometimes I write on here is, it always never about that thing in and of itself.

I even worked that into a fake bullshit intro I made for my YouTube videos. Check it out:

A Video responce to Sexual Tourism in Jamaica (1)

Female sex tourism occurs when Western women travel to developing countries in order to gain sexual or romantic favors that are scarce or not available to them in their own country. Female sex tourism is often ignored due to the significantly lower rates in comparison to male sex tourism. Female sex tourism differs from male sex tourism, because of the different gender roles it encompasses. Female sex tourism strays away from the strictly physical aspect of the sex tour and diverges into different aspects of the relationship such as romance and intimacy between the female tourist and the sex worker

Female sex tourism occurs in diverse regions of the world. The demographics of these female sex tourists differ from tourist to tourist. Female sex tourist are usually classified as upper-middle to upper class women who comes from a developed Westernized country. These women will flock to underdeveloped countries such as; the Caribbean or Kenya, in search of romance or sexual outlets.

Interesting Read

‘Sex, tourism and the Postcolonial Encounter: Landscapes of Longing in Egypt

 

MrMary has Just One Inappropriate Question for You, Ready?

A Great Cartoon by Cyanide and Happiness that made me chuckle

Another Inappropriate Christmas Gift …. Uhm this one is crazy

 

Doc Johnson Good Head Strawberry Oral Sex Mints

Flavored desensitizing mints. For the ultimate blow job. Individually wrapped oral sex mints. Good Head once only available as a lickable oral sex gel is now in a more convenient mint. Deep throat like never before. Helps suppress the gag reflex. Doubles as a minty breathe freshener. Easy to use. Sugar free. Oral anesthetic. Single tin 20 oral sex mints.

Now these come in two flavors

Spearmint

&

Strawberry

Doc Johnson is a name you can trust obviously because Johnson is a Doctor.  Is anyone willing to be a secret product shopper and test out this product on their significant other and report back?

Similar Product

 

 

 

Go Deep Oral Sex Mints Adam-Eve

Customer Review:

GO DEEP ON YOUR MAN, November 11, 2012 5/5 Stars

THE NAME IS WHAT CAUGHT MY EYE!!! I LUV THESE!! THEY ARE GREAT FOR GAGGERS. MY HUSBAND HAS LENGTH & WIDTH…BEFORE USING THESE I COULD NEVER TAKE HIM IN AS FAR AS I CAN NOW. I KNOW I HAVE IMPROVED FROM HIS EXPRESSION’S. I WOULD LIKE TO TOOT MY OWN HORN AND SAY I AM A GREAT AT IT NOW…LOL. I HAVE READ OTHER REVIEWS AND IT DIDN’T WORK FOR SOME BUT FOR I TRY TO KEEP THEM BC I KNOW MY MAN LOVES THEM. ALSO YOU HAVE TO BE INTO WHAT YOU’RE DOING BC IF YOU DON’T ENJOY DOING IT THEN YOUR PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING YOU DON’T ENJOY DOING,,JUST A THOUGHT. I RECOMMEND THESE!! I GIVE THEM 5 STARS!!!!

________

BLAH, June 18, 2012 1/5 STARS

I bought these awhile back and thought they might work, why not they said they would, be very careful with them they are large mints and take awhile to do dissolve but they numb your tongue, not your throat. Plus my fiancee said that after I used them he had a pain for about an hour not a rash but he was really red for that time these I wouldn’t recommend. Trying to get them to numb the back of your throat is just not worth the hassle of trying not to choke, I almost did twice on these, and you can’t even try and do anything while they are in your mouth or your looking at a 911 call for sure LOLZ.

Showing that Blogger Love: Reason I Hate Being a Man

I was inspired to write this after I read The Curse of Eve: Reasons I Hate Being a Woman. You all should check her out !!!  Her blog I mean. I’m sure she is quite fine in person.

DISCLAIMER: This is meant to be a JOKE.  You know Ha-Ha funny kinda of joke. If You take this seriously then you jsut may be a joke.

Reasons I hate Being  Man

Reason # 1

I don’t live as long as my female counterparts, I don’t know if that is a gift or blessing but I kind feel left out

Reason # 2

Turn out that I can get woken up from the libidinous clutches of sleep to investigate sounds or kill insects. There is nothing more absurd than walking investigating strange sounds half asleep with a boner. It is one of the original Commandments  Thou shall not bludgeon thy female neighbours ass  (a lot of grey area with legal interpretation concerning this commandment)

Reason # 3 Had to learn about gentleness subtlety

I didn’t naturally come knowing about subtlety or tact. For example turns out my  over development of  leg and lower back strength didn’t help out my intimate relationships especially when my lady friend had to wake up early for work the next morning. Now by default I rut like an old man:  slow and ugly.

Reason # 4   Movies

Sometimes I have to not only watch movies but pretend to be into it. It’s not my fault I am genetically predisposed to plotless stories with love, violence explosions, car chases, hot girls, and people getting beat-down.

Reason # 5 Arguments

I was born not being interested in winning arguments. So I have no compulsion to win them. Even if I had that inclination I could not. So I stay silent but my silence is always misconstrued and  misappropriated which is why dudes have arguments with other dudes over completely trivial stuff like the weather, the quickest way to get to work, i.e  meaningless stuff where there is a clear winner.

Reason # 6 Other Dudes

There are other dudes that always try to show off and exert what little power hey think they have on you by force and administration of pain, we call them the police where I am from.

Reason #7 Oprah

She tells women all kinds of crazy bullshit that some actually believe.

How MrMary Learned how NOT to approach women

Being an older brother to a younger sister I was taught the value of respecting and treating women correctly, and so far that training has come in handy. I keep the lights off and don’t ask about whether they should be on.  However there was an odd occurrence which happened on rainy day at the Franklin Ave 2,3 and 4,5 train station in Brooklyn.

Those days, I was very angry. I thought working out with a bunch of other guys who were bitter and malcontent would help reduce it and it did. We worked out and talked a lot of shit. We also drank at school. Vodka and bench pressing in retrospect do not make much sense but I guess we were young and stupid. We were an odd mix of chemists, electrical, biomedical and computer science majors with huge chips on our shoulders. So for 5 days a week 2-3 hours a day, we lifted together, had lunch together, talked massive amounts of shit together. I went from 185lbs to 245lbs which for a guy 5’9 was crazy.

As one of my female friend at the time said, it looked like we went to jail to work out. One of my work out buddies told me actually that I reminded him of his dog (a pit bull rottweiler mix). His dog was so angry and aggressive they couldn’t even bring a bitch in heat into his enclosure just to throw him a bone, uhm figuratively.

The most Uncomfortable Train Ride Ever

As typical one hot humid NYC summer day changed to one filled with angry thunderstorms. I didn’t have an umbrella and got thoroughly soaked. While waiting for a connecting train at the station in question, a guy with a lisp came up to me and asked me for the time. I told him and then he asked me a bunch of bullshit questions to which out of politeness I answered.  I didn’t suspect anything at the time until he asked me if I lived around the neighbourhood. Maybe he could call me sometime. I was shocked and confused. First off what about me said I was gay. OK yes the shirt was tight and it clung to me like a second skin because I got caught in the rain but seeing as how I had this love affair with the female body and the ladies, I couldn’t see why he had approached me. Then all of a sudden I realized he didn’t want the time, he wanted me. I was being hit on. (That Brown Suga, can’t fuck wid it)

It was flattering. In my head I was  like yeah man all those super-sets and drop sets really paid off, but in a sort of nasty way. I am by no means a homophobe if your idea of fun is an all The-Dick-You-Can-Eat buffet, then by all means dive in, go balls deep. I just personally felt highly uncomfortable. Luckily my train came before things could get more awkward. I didn’t answer and walked on the train. Unfortunately he walked on too. It was highly uncomfortable being oggled like meat flavoured candy for the 3-4 stops. The repeated attempts at eye contact was annoying as was his trying to signal me. I  wanted to vomit. This was the most uncomfortable train ride ever especially if you throw into the mix the lewd tongue and hand gesture he made to me, right before I left one station before my stop.

This was even worse than being stuck in the train cart with the flatulent homeless guy sleeping five feet away.

Results

Full Irish Breakfast Figuratively

I walked home a bit paranoid clenching all the way for my own safety and protection.  I felt like a sombre youth walking the streets on a hot summer day of Ancient Greece, with all the wrong people trying to cheer me up with promises of freshly squeezed juice and a few oily olives – the Greek Breakfast as it is known in county (jail) after lights out. [While I'm glad the Irish & English breakfast has surpassed the Greek breakfast in popularity  blood sausage and white pudding aren’t much of an improvement] From that day on I always remembered my umbrella.

I learned some valuable tips on how not to approach women from this uncomfortable incident.  When I got home that day I immediately saw flashing before my eyes all the times I had seen ladies put up with the horrible pick up lines delivered, the uncomfortable and creepy come-ons, stalking and cat-calls. I gained a lot of respect for women that day, having to put up with all that.

More To Be Said Later

MrMary

Related articles

• FLIRTING: GOOD, BAD and the UGLY (neecysnest.wordpress.com)
• Learn to flirt with women (nagonno.wordpress.com)
• Flirting can pay off for women, study finds (sciencedaily.com)
• Is It OK To Flirt At Work? (miami.cbslocal.com)
• Flirtology – The Science of Flirting (thesocialsocialanthropologist.com)

Jocular Look @ Today’s News || Urinal video games take live streaming literally

Captive Media, you’re in business. The English media company has taken a trip to the restroom, installing digital advertising/gaming consoles above urinals in public bathrooms throughout London. The LCD screens are at eye level, and once you unzip and get into the flow of things, infrared sensors detect the direction of your streaming, dictating the way you play (there are helpful decals in the urinals to help you direct your fire). There are five games that randomly appear, including On the Piste (where you try to hit penguins going down a ski run) and Clever Dick (a trivia game in which your pee picks the answer). [Source]

Mr Mary Weighs in

You dont belong to yourself any more. Every moment you are awake there is some outlet telling you to buy this or believe that or follow this or emulate that. There is no time any more when there is silence, free of  an invitation to consume.  The radio right now where i am is playing Christmas songs before thanksgiving, in between songs I am told about sales and deals and how I can make my family happy by going here for the holidays. My happiness centers around taking advantage of deals.

Because people trample each other to death and on Black Friday to get these says many people have decided to open their  stores on Thanksgiving which means ultimately to me that happiness here in a consumer society means that I am only ok when I out looking for a bargain , accumulating more stuff and disenfranchising someone else from  enjoying whatever little peace they have. The public sphere is used exclusively to  selling things and not talk about serious issues. Gaza is being bombed but while takign a pizz you can play a game and Im sure check out some cool adverstisements.

Seriously

Realistically when my penis is out, there are only a few types of games I am willing to play and they involve a inappropriate sounds, a tightening of my core muscles and if the magazine isnt that great maybe I’ll call up my lady friend

Related articles

• Urinal Video Games Played With Pee (news.discovery.com)
• Pee-controlled urinal games heading for US after creator secures $700k in funding (digitaltrends.com)
• ‘Pee-Powered’ Screens Above Urinals Provide Interactive Bathroom Gaming (psfk.com)
• Coming Soon to the Men’s Room: Games You Play With Your Pee (wired.com)

 

Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 10: Twinkie Obsession

Fact # 1

November is National Diabetes Awareness Month and according to a study released on Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of diagnosed cases of diabetes grew by 50 percent or more in 42 U.S. states, and by 100 percent or more in 18 states.

In 2010, 18.8 million Americans had been diagnosed with diabetes and another 7 million had undetected diabetes, according to the CDC. States with the largest increases over the 16-year period were Oklahoma, up 226 percent; Kentucky, up 158 percent; Georgia, up 145 percent; Alabama, up 140 percent, Washington, up 135 percent, and West Virginia, up 131 percent, according to the study published in CDC’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. “Regionally, we saw the largest increase in diagnosed diabetes prevalence in the South, followed by the West, Midwest, and Northeast,” Linda Geiss, a statistician with CDC’s Division of Diabetes Translation and lead author of the report, said in a statement.

Fact # 2

• More than one-third of U.S. adults (35.7%) are obese.
• Obesity-related conditions include heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer, some of the leading causes of preventable death.
• In 2008, medical costs associated with obesity were estimated at $147 billion; the medical costs for people who are obese were $1,429 higher than those of normal weight.
• By state, obesity prevalence ranged from 20.7% in Colorado to 34.9% in Mississippi in 2011. No state had a prevalence of obesity less than 20%. 39 states had a prevalence of 25% or more; 12 of these states had a prevalence of 30% or more: Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas, and West Virginia.
• The South had the highest prevalence of obesity (29.5%), followed by the Midwest (29.0%), the Northeast (25.3%) and the West (24.3%).

The Illogical Part

An American icon announced it will be closing its doors and laying off 18,500 workers as Hostess, the makers of Twinkie and Wonder bread, announced they will be going out of business following a crippling strike by union members. According to a lot of people this is all part of Obama’s evil plan to destroy America by eviscerating  small and big businesses. Look at these titles:

Obamanomics Kills Another – RIP Hostess and 19,000 Jobs.
The Adults At Hostess Give A Reality Lesson To Obama’s Union Children
Rush Limbaugh Livid Over Hostess Closure: This is All Michelle Obama’s Fault, I Feel As Though a Part of Me is Dying
Obama and UNIONS killed Hostess – Topix
Friday Flashback: Obama speaks, Hostess dies, Fiscal Cliff looms
Obama loving unions just killed 18,500 jobs…and twinkies.

This Hostess closing has become a political issue with many people trying to point the finger and place the blame of the incumbent president and his winning another 4 years or some mess I’m not really going to get into it. But hear is some information if you’re interested

Hostess is well known to several generations of Americans for Twinkies, which debuted in 1930 to provide an inexpensive treat during the Great Depression. The company also made Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Cupcakes and other desserts.  The Bakery, Confectionary, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union says that the company would have died years ago if it hadn’t been for workers.”…the truth is that had it not been for the valiant efforts of our members over the last eight years, including accepting significant wage and benefit concessions after the first bankruptcy, this company would have gone out of business long ago.” Hostess failed because its six management teams over the last eight years were unable to make it a profitable, successful business enterprise.

The Illogical Stuff

In a nation full of fat mutha-fuckers we are mourning the loss of one of the most deadly high calorie no nutrient rich  substance that passes for  food. This is America:

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People are rushing to buy Twinkies stashing it,

Naturally, this is a disturbing development for fans of the Hostess icon, the Twinkie. Preparing for the possibility the Twinkie may never return to American store shelves, fans have been stocking up on the tasty treat, and Twitter is full of some amazing pictures of people’s stashes. Check out some of the best shots above.

So there is this Obesity and Diabetes epidemic and people re rushing to buy twinkies not because they need it or they want it but because of nostalgia?  As a kid I used to like twinkies not so much that I want to hoard boxes of twinkies. I haven’t eaten them  in years.

Conclusion

When I first heard all this talk about twinkies going out of business I thought it was in reference to the twilight movies ending with part two Breaking down coming out soon or maybe it came out unlike the vampires and werewolves in that movie. I dunno I grew reading mythology, listening to horrific stories told by older relatives and watching the classic horror movies stuff  this twilight shit with the twinkie vampires and werewolves is just horrible. If a lady friend ask me to go see it with her it wouldn’t happen, well depends on her negotiation skills.

Actually come to think of it, while twinkies have a special place in my heart, I would mind is all the twinkie bullshit foodstuff and vampires and werewolves when to that field where bullshit goes to die and re-enrich the soil.

RIP TWINKIES YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART

Check out the Rest of this series

Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 9 Getting Tasered By the Cops for Helping to Put out a fire
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 8: Sex, Horses and Marijuana in the United States
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 7: French Cheese and Automatic Guns (1)
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 6: Russian Arms sales in America
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 5: Boycotting the Olympics in 1980
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 4: Sexual Assault Victim May Go To Jail
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 3: Children are our Future
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 2 :Womens Rights
Illogical Thoughts/things that make perfect sense # 1

Related articles

• You want to know who REALLY killed the Twinkie? (blogs.ajc.com)
• Twinkies Selling for $100 on Ebay While a Petition is Seeking to Bail Twinkies Out (americanlivewire.com)
• Twinkies Will Be Saved (newser.com)
• Twinkie roundup: Before you hoard, read this (oregonlive.com)
• Homemade Twinkies (nytimes.com)
• Twinkie prices surge on Ebay (upi.com)
• The Twinkie: an indestructible icon of American capitalism | Mike Daisey (guardian.co.uk)
• No More Twinkies? Hostess is Closing! (manolith.com)

Canada Just May be the last hope for the US Moral Conscious

Every country has its problems and Canada is no exception, but I do think that,  having many Canadian friends and relatives, Canadians serve a very important role in American society. I have always found that Canadians know more about American culture than most Americans know about theirs. So far it has been my experience when I visit or talk to my relatives in Canada that they bring up important question that  we forget to ask ourselves because we get caught up in trivialities or in being hostile to each other. That’s just my take though, please keep in mind that I’m not fully American by any standard. I support free education and healthcare. I think there should be an absolute separation between church and state, though I am not an atheist I would love to see an atheist Presidential nominee, I also believe in a host of crazy shit like class mobility. I think my kids if I have them will be fully Americanized

Canada is an interesting country for the sake of comparison especially for me in terms of heathcare, education, tar sands, social tolerance of minorities. I’m really intrigued by the Canadian healthcare system actually how it works and where are the failings etc  especially because the America Healthcare system right now is looking beat up and worn out.

Anyways, I found this pic online and it made me think of our neighbors to the north. So to all the Canadians out there thanks !!! BTW Canadians -  We need to talk, I’ve never understood Canadian Bacon