No Points for riding it Doggy Style

Female Friend: Hey mrmary’s real name is this Cute ?
MrMary: It’s a dog on a skateboard …
Female Friend: yeah he is so cuuuuutttteee…. !!!!!
MrMary: from the way you squealed I’m sure all the dogs in the fucking neighborhood heard that shit.

Female Friend: You’re such a grouch sometimes
MrMary: I’m not a grouch, just not impressed
Female Friend: Why aren’t you impressed?
MrMary: The Dog has four legs ?
Female Friend: Yeah and ?

MrMary: If I had four legs I could ride a skate board real well , no point no extra credit for riding it doggy-style.
Female friend: Say it louder so everyone can hear…
MrMaryOk…. NO POINTS FOR RIDING IT DOGGY STYLE

Female Friend: So what’s impressive to you
MrMary: Simple shit, animals being animals, not animal taught to do stuff to make us feel better or superior or laugh because of a visual absurd  recapitulation of human activity….

Female Friend: Ok …uhm what are you talking about..?
MrMary: (sigh) ok a tapir doing tapir shit is impressive to me

Female Friend What’s impressive about a tapir
MrMary: It has a prehensile penis

Female: Prehensile … ?
MrMary: Prehensile meaning it can grab shit
Female Friend:  huhnnn

Mrmary: Pass me your smart fone

Female Friend: I dont know why I talk to you
Mrmary: because you dont Read and need more age appropriate vocab/