Jocular take On Today’s news || Americans get hit in the crotch more than you would imagine

Crotch shots, funny as they are (who among us can forget “Man Getting Hit by Football” from “The Simpsons?”), are serious business, y’all. A new study found genital injuries send 16,000 people in the U.S. to emergency rooms each year. Ouch. The report found that most causes of below-the-belt injures are from seemingly innocuous sources — bikes, furniture and clothing, among them. The figure is twice the number of yearly dental injuries and the same as electrical and chemical burns. Common causes include sporting items (falling forward on bikes; from, uh, balls), shaving and grooming accidents. Men, duh, accounted for two-thirds of the E.R. visits. [Source]

MrMary Weighs in

Could we have in fact found the reason why so many things are off in American society? My theory is that the sperm after such trauma gets scrambled chromosomes and genes all kinds a fucked up. Then all that faulty sperm inseminates some egg and BAM just like that a radical rape loving Republican is born. That was a joke not all conservatives love rape and telling women what to do and how to live their lives just most. [I am a fan of conservatism in some settings todays conservatives I feel are so extreme and blinkered that they are an insult to conservatism]

Some Historical Precedents

The US is an empire dont believe me look at our wars over seas , foreign policy and read Alfred Thayer Mahan‘s The Influence of Sea Power Upon History. Briefly:

The concept [in Mahan's book] had an enormous influence in shaping the strategic thought of navies across the world, especially in the United States, Germany, Japan and Britain, ultimately causing a European naval arms race in the 1890s, which included the United States. His ideas still permeate the U.S. Navy Doctrine.

nationalism and arms races in 1890′s and then world war 1 soon after which lead to world war 2 which lead to the US rebuilding Europe under the marshal plan and at some point becoming… actually I’m way off tangent I had a Prof MrMary moment.

Look at the top few reason Rome fell and compare them to the US political climate as of late.

The 13 reasons:

1. Decline in Morals
2. Political Corruption and the Praetorian Guard
3. Fast Expansion of the Empire
4. Constant Wars and Heavy Military Spending
5. Barbarian Knowledge of Roman Military Tactics
6. Failing Economy
7. Unemployment of the Working Classes (The Plebs)
8. The “Mob” and the cost of the “Games”
9. Decline in Ethics and Values
10. Slave Labor
11. Natural Disasters
12. Christianity
13. Barbarian Invasion

So what am I saying

I’m saying simply that though we don’t have mutha fuckaz drinking out of lead cups and shit we got people withs an excessive amounts of crotch/genital trauma. Combine that with the fact that babies come out of genitals i think it suffices to say the nut-shot or nut trauma is the equivalent of lead poisoning in roman times.

There is a dude called “Horse” who goes around and finds ways to traumatize his testes. He gave birth to a child not to long ago