A Jocular Look @ Today’s News: Global Bacon Shortage ‘Unavoidable’ Next Year
Global Bacon Shortage ‘Unavoidable’ Next Year, Says U.K.’s
National Pig Association
With pork costs rising, Great Britain is facing a bacon and sausage shortage as pig farmers cut back on herd size. But the problem may soon become global. In a recent press release, the U.K.’s National Pig Association is warning that a “world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable“:
New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests. All main European pig-producing countries report shrinking sow herds.
Financial Times reports that this past season’s droughts in North America and Russia are to blame for the spike in prices for grain crops, which are used to feed animals. As of August, nearly half of all counties in the U.S. were considered disaster areas due to extreme dryness and heat.
MrMary Weighs In
There is something special about pork, it’s so good and tastey that to pork is a euphemism for having sex which often is not relaly good or tastey, but you see therein lies the power of pork. There is even a fish called “PORKFISH” [Anisotremus virginicus is a Grunt from the Western Atlantic. It grows to a size of 40.6 cm in length.] I am neglecting to mention catfish and dog fish because we don’t eat them as food although some of those non tax paying senior citizens eat cans of cat food for dinner but that’s beside the point. Here are the top four things I wont be able to do if there is a bacon shortage:
Keep putting out for this chick that occasionally makes me breakfast. It’s a recession and having sex for food will revolutionize micro-financing, there would be more places to invest and store capital locally.
Who will fat-wash my drinks at the bar ? [ fat washing actually has nothing to do with sexy rumpus ] Think bacon infused bourbon !!!
How will Deny’s continue to attract broke black people late at night as we slowly migrate to Canada ( you didn’t know we were moving did you !!!)
Gangsta can’t use turkey bacon to do this
Let’s Start a movement to conserve our bacon