The Blogger's dilemma - Serious Reflection

The Tweet that Opened My Eyes

Immediately after watching The Dark Knight Rises, I immediately tweeted a person I follow on twitter asking: ‘Hey! How did you like The Dark Knight Rises?‘ The person copies the URL to a tweet they wrote a bit ago where they shared their opinion on teh Dark Knight Rises and sends it to me. Do you see the significance of that ? Do you see the irony?The energy spent finding the URL and copying, pasting and sending i was to me equivalent in typing 140 characters or less. I laughed for a good long while and then really took a break from Twitter.

Conversation

A lot of times people ask a question not just for the answer alone. For example I see my homey hunched over his eye’s are blood shot, he looks dead tired. I go up to him and I saw: “What good boss?…….You look massively tired, whats up?”  Imagine then if he showed me a text to someone else  explaining how he has been working over time to help pay off some debt.The question wasn’t asked  just to be redundant.

I went to the movie theater less than 24/hours after the Colorado shooting and in NYC there was heavy police presence at all theaters. I unfortunately made a classic mistake.I was concerned in a friendly way about this person’s trip to the theater, and I thought it be nice to hear what they thought of the movie and how they were, but social media isn’t really meant to be social, it is meant to persuade you to consume some content.  Your clicking like or re-tweeting, etc is only the receipt of the transaction. I mean you can follow brands, celebrities bloggers etc and doing so increase or influence some sort of measurable out put from said person or corporation.

My Dilemma

See my problem is two-fold. I like blogging but I see the absurdity in it. Also ‘m overly caring, hence the sarcasm and vitriol when I see things like people getting hurt, or a system that screws over retirees, or people abusing animals etc.

MrMary is a character sorta. Yes I have done crazy things like walked the Bklyn Bridge only to pee more on City Hall than I would have if I took the train (let it build up its a better release) Yes I told a girl who was making me the butt of her jokes in church, that if she thinks I’m gay I’ll put my dick under her nose so she can see if she can smell shit. Of course I opted to not do so because her mustache tickling my sac would remind of Freddie Mercury and that would make me sorta gay. (I said that to her too – also I don’t discriminate on someone’s sexual orientation, but if someone is gonna make fun of me in church I will bring the heat. Being told her mustache turns straining guys gay kind of shut her up, my calling her Burt Reynolds helped but I digress….

My dilemma is that I like being able to connect to other people I wouldn’t normally have the opportunity to connect with, however most of those connections are to quote T. S Eliot:

Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

They are ultimately absurd. I do get a laugh or derive some sort of pleasure and satisfaction from blogging especially on here aspoonfulofsuga and oftentimes while writing some of the stuff i get some great comments. However I think its more than just about pleasure. If it was only about pleasure I wouldn’t have written almost four hundred posts (not counting all the draft of stuff I felt was too much even for me) in a year.

I mean there is always masturbation( I know all my tricks but still it’s fun….), there is the girl next door who needs more money for her drug habit, there is my bottle of Svedka Vodka (It’s not Grey Goose but it will do) my Bombay Sapphire Gin, my bottle of Ricard (Ricard Pastis anyone) there is my book of I’ve been working on intensely for 3 years now…. etc you get my point.

What is it?

I was thinking about this a lot today when I was writing about that high-school student I graduated with, with a history of mental problems that stabbed someone 40+ and killed them. To be clear I was wondering why do I even share personal things here, why do I even write here?

I think in some way there is this need for a sense of community, a need to he heard and to listen to someone else. Maybe it’s a personal flaw to feel that what I am saying behind the joking and making light of the world around me and my own idiosyncrasies and stupid decisions is being heard by someone other than the voices in my head, that it’s not just haphazard to find really cool blogs to follow and these really cool people follow me.

I don’t really have an answer and there is no real sense in trying to arrive at one. I always have endeavored to take things as they are, the words just come I suppose , …..

take a writer away from his typewriter 
and all you have left 
is 
the sickness 
which started him 
typing 
in the 
beginning.