It has been some time since you have all heard from me, I had insane piles of work to do but due to my efficient ways of cutting corners, outsourcing work, and retroactively retiring from a project at work, I am here with you my Diabetics ( I think that works).
Sounds familiar ?
If it does that’s because I have taken a page out of Mitt Romney‘s book of bullshit. While I don’t admire the tactics I admire the high glossy pictures that come out of the Romney camp.
You know I don’t vote so I like to take election time to make fun off and provide commentary on what’s actually happening in this great nation of mine. We are facing some difficult days, shooting in Colorado, Snookie closer to giving birth, and more British people in NYC than I care for. I believe they are slowly mounting and invasion to take back part of the USA. I mean its only been a hundred years since the War of 1812. But anyways I have to commend Mitt Romney. His actions helped, in my mind, the reversal of the tanning paradox.
The Tanning Paradox
Some of you are asking what is the tanning paradox, and luckily for you I my interstitial cells of Leydig are saturated with bad intentions. Dr. Henri Louis Gates in his PBS special: Black in Latin America talking about something he calls Whitening of Latin America.
From Wiki: After the period of the Wars of Independence, the elites of most of the countries in the region mistakenly concluded that the cause of their underdevelopment was their populations being mostly Amerindian, Mestizo or Mulatto,so a major process of “Whitening” was required, or at least desirable.Then, most Latin American countries implemented policies to promote and incentivate European immigration, and some were quite successful at it, especially Argentina, Uruguay and Brazil. The amount of European immigrants arrived from the late 19th century and the early 20th century far surpassed the figures of original colonists.
of course it goes deeper than just that but I’m not gonna bore you with facts when I can pull up stuff out of my ass…..
My First Encounter
Funnily enough I partially stumbled on this observation when I was a kid. I was on the D train going with my family to Coney Island. It was awfully hot and I asked my mom why do people sit out in the sun. She said to get darker, and then I asked why would they want to get darker. She admitted she didn’t know, it didn’t seem to help her ( my mom is a very funny sarcastic person) Then I asked the same question about botox for thicker fuller lips, or machines to work out with giving a bigger plumper ass, of course my mom said she had no idea why and to leave her alone with my questioning. I grouped all these ideas into a paradox, the tanning paradox.
I found it as a kid odd at the time that people would want to get darker and get certain features of dark skinned people (not necessarily African Americans or other types of black) and of course at the same time not really like or want darker skinned people in their neighborhood, or face fucking their daughters?
The Tanning paradox:
Racially certain people will rush to the beaches privatize it so locals who have all the physical features they desire cannot have access to their own beach in their own country, in order to get darker skin, inject toxins into their lips to have fuller lips. Yet support legislation and foreign policy that will either keep those nation poor to establish a favorable trade balance, or involve them in some fictitious war effort that destroys their sovereignty [war on drugs, war on terror]. So on one hand there is what seem to be an imitation, and on the other hand a rejection of the origin sorta of like a real life 3-D “Doublespeak”
Simple put: Most people want what they cannot have.
Until Mitt Romney came along and paid for it.
He wants Black People to like Him
But since he couldn’t find any in time for his NAACP talk he hired a bunch of blacks to cheer for him, knowing I guess before hand he was gonna say shit most of the other non- paid negros won’t like which means this was a more for image and press not so much for sincere care.
It’s kind of cool. He didn’t try to play basketball or reference Yung Jeezy and Tupac in a speech. He didn’t come with fried chicken, or hope, or rims or a kicking sound system. He came with Negro’s, paid to clap, and entertain him (his delusions), basically he came with a Tyler Perry movie in a can.
Unlike the tanning paradox there is no gate hiding with armed guards, protecting you from the objects/person you’re trying to partially model certain of your physical features on. There is no want or need for imitation. There is is just the market principles:
$$$$ + Rich politician => Making Negros Willing Portray Centuries old Stereotypes
Obviously this post is a piece of imagination historical literary fiction. I hope you’ve enjoyed it while you’re eating your lunch.
- Mitt Romney: Lazy Liar (salon.com)
- “Quasi-Suicidal”: Did Mitt Romney Pay Any Federal Taxes At All In 2009? (mykeystrokes.com)
- Mitt’s First Foreign Stumble? (talkingpointsmemo.com)
- 5 reasons the Mitt Romney tax controversy won’t go away – The Week (tribuneofthepeople.com)
- ‘America In Decline’: Mitt Romney Gets Grim Warning From Australian Leader (investmentwatchblog.com)
- “The Man Without a Past”: Mitt Romney, A Barbarian At The Gate? (mykeystrokes.com)
- Mitt Romney Gets Busted Buying Twitter Followers (tribuneofthepeople.com)
- Enda Kenny to meet US presidential candidate Mitt Romney in London (independent.ie)
- What If It Was Mitt Romney Who Had Robbed Boston Gas Stations Back In 1999? (stirringtrouble.wordpress.com)
- Will Mitt Romney need only young and winnable Marco Rubio? (rqjavines.wordpress.com)
- Rush Limbaugh – Rush Limbaugh Insists ‘dark Knight Rises’ Is An Attack On Mitt Romney (contactmusic.com)
- Australian Foreign Minister Claims Romney Misinterpreted Him (buzzfeed.com)
- Did Mitt Romney Buy Thousands of Followers on Twitter Over the Weekend? (slog.thestranger.com)
- It’s not just Mitt Romney’s tax returns that are under lock and key (dailykos.com)
- Australian foreign minister tells Romney that leaders see ‘America in decline’ (americanthinker.com)
- Chavez Bashes Romney, Says Obama’s a ‘Good Guy’ (newser.com)
- WELL DONE, MITT! As Governor Of Mass, Romney Banned The Assault Weapon Used In The Colorado Massacre (businessinsider.com)
- Mitt Romney to visit Roxbury today (bostonherald.com)
- Mitt Romney’s Tax Returns: Ask John McCain He’s Got ‘em (guardianlv.com)
- Everyone Is Already Ripping This Mitt Romney Adviser For Saying Romney ‘Retired Retroactively’ From Bain Capital (businessinsider.com)
- Outsourcing is good for America: Cato’s Michael Tanner (finance.yahoo.com)
- GE and the Paradox of Reverse Innovation (innovationbeats.wordpress.com)
- Mitt Romney’s Bain invested in companies that specialize in moving jobs overseas (dailykos.com)
- TDS Co-Editor Ruy Teixeira: Public Wants Outsourcing Stopped (thedemocraticstrategist.org)
- Romney Invested Millions in Firms That Pioneered High-Tech Outsourcing (motherjones.com)
- Personal Outsourcing: How To Get More Than 24 Hours Out Of Each Day (lifehacker.com.au)
- Three Fibs Mitt Romney Tells About His Business Record (thinkprogress.org)
- Sending Jobs Overseas? The Truth About the Obama/Romney Controversy (foxnewsinsider.com)
- The nuances surrounding outsourcing (maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com)
- DeLong On Outsourcing (forbes.com)