What I'm Drinking tonight: Narragansett Cream Ale aka Lazy Self-Loving

Salvador Dali’s depiction of Hitler Masturbation. its just here for no reason

Back in the day before I had the money to indulge my refined palette I drank a ton of cheap beer. You know the kind in the discount ale of the grocery store that has an American Flag and just says Beer on it. Suffice it to say that those beers tasted  like the smells of homelessness, depravity and ripped open garbage bags doused with Hawaiian punch that frequents alleys ways. One day luck would have it I had a can of Wexford’s Irish Cream Ale, and was probably in retrospect foreshadowed by the named I creamed my pants . I couldn’t tell if it was that good or I had been drink stuff that was so bad that when something mediocre came along. I acknowledge now that the Wexford’s was my rebound, and I would go on to cream my pants for better chicks (sorry that got too cathartic) beers with better body, mouth feel, and gave better head, when poured of course. I vowed to revisit the cream ale family and sample, and so here we are :

Narragansett Cream Ale

Cream Ale was a style of ale popular in America before prohibition. its kind of like a larger without such hoppiness and bitterness , slightly sweet fruity citrus grainy/grassy type of aroma. Of course there is a smooth finish that of course let’s you know is a cream ale. I like it and good. My underwear is clean I didn’t expectorate phallically. But lets get into it, Wait Before that I must say that this is a very progressive forward thinking beer, this beer supports women and the many challenging issues they are facing in the political arena. I not sure how they do it ladies but someone looking out for the clam and not just to stuff the flagship product in it, although I have seen videos where that happens. This beer is good definitely better than the semen tainted Urine that passed for beer at the market and local corner store. Let’s finally get into it.

Getting Down to Business

This beer brought me back to those figurative lazy summer afternoons  when I was stuck in an apartment with no a/c or fan while NYC was in the grips of a heatwave, i was too lazy to pound one out with the proper finesse and  enthusiasm, but proceeded to do a lazy half ass job. Many married women can relate to doing just enough to make it count but not enough to make it memorable or satiating.

The Pour, The Aroma, The Taste

The Pour

I used a nice clean chilled beer mug. I poured it slowly like I cleared to slide to 4th base , someone homer’ed. On the way to home base I noticed a real beautiful yellow-orange color with a 1.5 ~ 2 finger head. After some time the two fingered head disappeared into a thick carpet of foam (just like in the movies actually well those kinda movies). It was nice.

Aroma

Unlike most carpet I get into the aroma was slightly sweet, there were fruity and flowery smells. It is lightly malty-ish, it had the smell character of cream, almost as if smoothness could have a smell you’d smell it here. 

Taste

One isn’t over-powered by many of the different component of the taste. There is an initial sweetness balanced out by the slight hoppiness. But the emphasis as is oral sex in the back seat of a car is on  the mouth-feel. The combination of carbonation  and the not to assertive hoppiness give this beer and very great drinkability. The sweetness is overpowering  neither is the hoppiness  the creamyness isn’t too much that you feel that a horse mistook you mouth for the vaginal cavity of a mare in estrous. Well balanced.

Pairings

I dunno if you guys cook Indian food generally there is some yogurt always served to cool down the intensity of spices  perfect example of this is cucumber mint raita , or Greek tzatziki sauce which is a related sauce, or the Persian mast -o-khiar . Any persian lady readers ,  if you make a fesenjoon I will please you sexually for free btw, provided after each time you make it I’m not obliged, the hottest bitter cup of black tea, call or do dishes (j/k I’m sure you have a dishwasher and herbal). Why am I telling you this ? Well because with this type of beer I can see it going very well with spicy foods, check it out

Conclusions

just enough for it to sorta count, not enough to put you out

One day many of you may experience the true gift of marriage and you will understand that this beer is good, good enough to get me over and have it count, but not good enough to make me go outta my way for it, like do some housework, or listen to your bullshit work stories about bitches trying to destroy you and your family or your wardrobe frustration.