Some History

Guinness is a popular Irish dry stout that originated in the brewery of Arthur Guinness (1725–1803) at St. James’s Gate, Dublin. Guinness is one of the most successful beer brands worldwide. It is brewed in almost 50 countries and is available in over 100. 850 million litres (1.5 billion imperial or 1.8 billion US pints) are sold annually.

My Experience with Guinness

There were a lot of first generation Irish students at my prep school and they spoke of the wonders of Jameson Irish Whiskey and Guinness. The first opportunity I had to try to Guinness I tried it and it tasted awful (I tried the extra stout version) But I grew to like Guinness and pretty much everything with alcohol in it.

Stouts

Guinness is a stout, and stouts are know for their dark color, a slightly burned tastes as the malt or barley is roasted first before the whole fermentation process. Traditionally stouts were know as porters but at some point stout became the term to use. The current connotation of the word when used to describe bear and also the male organ of generation typically means “strong”, stout are 7 to 8% alcohol, as most ladies will tell you a good 7-8 is nothing to scoff at (unless they’ve dated me). Guinness however is much different in from the original porter that Arthur Guinness used to make in the late 1700’s in Dublin, Guinness Draught is about 4% alcohol thats what I find the most around here. Guinness Foreign Extra Stout is a good 7% though. Anyways there are many types of stout and I hope to be reviewing all of them right here just for you in the hopes that companies will send me free samples.

Getting down to Business

This not a beer to be chugged it is one to sipped and enjoyed. There are some people who are purist and say one needs a Traditional Guinness glass but since those people and purists in generally are asshole we can ignore what they say. I generally prefer to pour my beer into a glass, why you say well…

  1. There is an aesthetic to how the beer looks you cant enjoy when it’s in the bottle
  2.  By pouring into a cup you get rid of some carbonation which means less burping and pressure in your stomach
  3. By pouring correctly you get to smell more of the aromas from the beer. Smell is a huge part of taste, I found i get a richer taste

How to Pour a Guinness

For me  I really enjoy admiring my ladies and my beer. I like looking at what I’m working with before I get down to smashing it, i mean the empty beer glass down on the counter table or desk where I enjoying my drink. (Maybe I should be a bartender, if i ever become a bar-tender I’ll let y’all know)  But what I do know is pouring a perfect pint of Guinness is supposedly an art. [My crew and I may go on a visit to Ireland on the way into France in Dec anyone wanna come ?]

This is how I pour my Guinness from the Bottle

  1. (Clean Room Temp glass )  You have to tilt your glass at a 45 degree angle
  2. Hopefully your bottle is open, you pour slowly down the side of the glass until you have  pour a little more than half the bottle about 2/3.
  3. Then you let it sit for a bit for the foamy head to form (oh no it’s not the money shot yet) After it settles then you pour the rest of the beer directly into the center and voila,

Like good sex you can’t rush it after you paid an exorbitant amount for it got to enjoy it slowly.

The Pour, Aroma and  Look of Guinness  Draught

I have a shitty camera fone sorry the pic sucks ass

The Draught Guinness  is a watered down version of Guinness Extra Stout. It’s 4.2%  alcohol.  It has all the qualities of the older sister Guinness but it just doesn’t get you as hard as excited as the  elder sister: It’s a sexy pour though always, you can see the common genes.  The foamy head is an off white cream sort of color. (isn’t it always?) In a well pour Guinness the head on it after the  pour is about 2-2.5 fingers but on the Guinness Draught its maybe 1.5 at most. The foam is a bit more solid than the one in the stout can reminds me of making meringue. This because it’s the nitro-can.There is not much aroma in the head, you can get the metallic iron taste and a little of the burnt malt nothing much more. Maybe a slight caramel sweetness, but its very very very faint.

(BTW – I don’t think The Guinness Draught is bad, some people find the stout a very over-powering they might really enjoy the Draught. We can’t all be the Prom Queen luckily she is a whore who ends up washed up and worn out 9 years before everyone else)

The Taste

One thing I have always liked about Guinness is how it feels in your mouth. The Younger sister though not as hot as her older sister still felt good in my mouth.That last statement is perverted enough I wont go further into it, but oh I did I put my face in it, not really just my nose got wet…*[1] The taste is not as strong and assertive as the Guinness Stout or Foreign Extra Stout but there is the classic ‘burnt’ taste, there is a sort of coffee/nutty bitterness to it. The burnt taste always I feel is accompanied by a taste of iron something sorta metallic but it (the metallic undertone doesn’t dominate the taste so. I used to have to take iron pill because I was so anemic as a kid and Guinness always brings me back to that taste/smell. Slight sweetness. This is a very light stout not as robust as  its elder sister so you can raw dawg it a bunch and effectively drink a bunch and it doesn’t feel like  brick or excess weight in your stomach. (In the Caribbean and in the UK as well stout is mixed with milk and given to sick or weak children there are many cool properties to it , maybe I’ll blab on about that if you all want me too.)

Cocktail Drinks

There are many cocktail drinks made with Guinness. Here are a few. Btw- Sometimes your guest or drinking buddy many prefer the drink be made with  Guinness Draught rather than Stout so feel free to substitute, I will be reviewing these drinks as well

  1. The Black and Tan (bass pale ale and Guinness – if your pour it right the Guinness sits a top the Bass  and they dont mix due to different densities. The top part is black and the bottom is tan
  2. The Black Velvet – Guinness and Champagne
  3. The Poor Man’s Black velvet – Champagne and Apple cider
  4. Dark Side of the Moon – Guinness and a Blue Moon Wheat ale
  5. The Irish Depth Charge – Shot of Vodka wedged upside down in the bottom of the Guinness glass Guinness pour on top.  When u get it yous tick your fingers in and  pull up the shot glass – very dramatic
  6. The Irish Carbomb – Bailey’s Irish Creme and Jameson are layers in a  shot glass in that order and that is dunk into a pint glass 3/4 full of Guinness
  7. Velour Black Pussy – Vodka guinness, cassis liquer and cider
  8. Trojan Horse – Guinness and Cola
  9. Guinness Shandy – Guinness and Lemonade
  10. The Midnight – Guinness and Port

(and the list goes on…..)

I’ve already made the Black and Tan, just kinda lazy ….

[1] - You never look down at the pint supposedly you always look to horizon so that you end up bringing the pint to you  and you don’t put your face in it and messup the dome that comes from the perfect 2 part pour, but unfortunately I dont listen to rules.