Sushi, Sexless Marriages, Jean Baudrillard and The Dark side of Joking around

Homo Sapien Sapien means Man who knows that he knows – (I think at least) and aside from dwelling on the philosophical and (for the sake of using another big word) epistemological implications of such a large statement I would like to take about the dark side of joking around by talking about Sushi. Yeah I know completely random.

Sushi

Use legos to tell your grandchildren what sushi used to be

We all know that sushi is the in thing right now and that world wide demand for sushi has horribly depleted and shat (past tense of to shit) on some really important ecosystems, brought some species horrible close to extinction and perhaps thrown nature as much out of balance as we are in terms of reality. However that isn’t important, what is important is maintaining our own glutinous need, to quote from one sushi connoisseur “over fishing is a problem that could affect our ability to continue enjoying delicious sushi in the future.”

Luckily, also if one were to eat sushi all day, everyday one would get horribly sick and could contract mercury poisoning. Already it’s quite clear to see how very much like marriage our over indulgence in sushi is- slowly poisoning yourself, being out of balance with reality. From a prior post (here) you learned my tips on how to keep your marriage fresh like a road side car bomb wound. But there is more to it than just following these tips. All my pontification in the previous post was designed  to give you the proper mental preparation to approach your relationship. Now that you have been indoctrinated and  here are some more pearls of advice (I’ve given you a necklace full for free already)

The Scarcity of a thing determines its value – wise old man saying

Men – You have to approach cunnilingus as you would eating sushi, only on special days and holidays. Too much of it will make you horribly sick and neither the treatment for mercury poisioning nor a spoiled wife is pleasureable.  Also pleasing someone and showing too much interest in them only serves to horribly unbalance their egos which is already horrible inflated and unbalanced

Scientific Fact: The consumption of fish is by far the most significant source of ingestion-related mercury exposure in humans and animals, although plants and livestock also contain mercury due to bioaccumulation of mercury from soil, water and atmosphere, and due to biomagnification by ingesting other mercury-containing organisms

Non-Scientific Fact: The overindulgence in one’s self image is the root of all  bitch-assedness. The more you feed into it, the more you shield yourself and the recipient from the reality that no one is indispensable, look at Maximilien Robespierre?

For the Ladies:

Ladies I am hitting you with some science: “Women are up to 9 times more likely to have cold hands and feet than men. Ladies can combat icy extremities by “balancing female hormones” and eating fish and ginger, says nutritional therapist Dr Marilyn Glenville.”

Women having cold extremities I would have never thought. To heat up your icy extremity/(ies) it might pay to accept that invitation to sushi, it is a common date meal but that little bit of warmth is only a preparation for experiences higher up on the food chain, like Kobe beef

For Everyone:

The mechanics of eating Sushi is very enlightening in that it sheds light on  for more intimate moments. I took this from a magazine (edited slightly to fit my own devious means):

It [sushi], was a little daunting —not because its raw,….The problem was mechanical: how to eat this stuff. I was clumsy but marginally competent  later learned that it is acceptable to eat with your fingers anyway), but my date was the size of a hockey puck <hand gesture>.  If you tried to cram the whole thing into your mouth, you would be doubly sorry: You would look like a chipmunk and, because there wasn’t enough room to chew properly before swallowing, were in real danger of choking on a sticky mass. Either way, not an attractive look.

Conclusion The Dark Side of Joking around

My dear friends at The Rubbe blog have said that I have a knack for copious amounts of innuendo on the blog, and this is of course true. I thought to share with you why that is.

Normally If I were to say that we have as a culture or society have become through an inherent zenophobia and self estrangement brought on by many factors such as post modern utilization of technological to create what Jean Baudrillard called Hyper-reality - a hypothetical inability of consciousness to distinguish reality from a simulation of reality, especially in technologically advanced post-modern societies. Hyperreality is a way of characterizing what our consciousness defines as “real” in a world where a multitude of media can radically shape and filter an original event or experience.  - no one would hear me out, some would say the material I am putting out is too dense, others might dismiss me as being some pretentious person looking for people to love me because I used big words and quoted Jean Baudrillard.

So instead I make jokes about human relationships, sexless marriages and  words like cunnilingus  and I get giggles on one hand which is great. I find that people need to laugh more nowadays and few are happy with themselves. I love making others and myself laugh. It has gotten me into a fair bit of trouble, at apple-bees and most eating places. (My parents don’t like me to accompany them to dinner because I am “mal élevé”  badly raised, which is ironic as they are my parents but that’s another thing.)

Then there are some who venture into the darkside and ask why is the joke funny, what does it say or allude to?  What does it say about how the dynamics of male and female relationships ? What ever happened to the feminist movement ? – all valid questions given the crassnessof the jokes before.

yeah, I just did that, Domino Mutha F’ers !!!!