When I think of something being freshly pressed I think of the dog walkers in our neighborhood who don’t pick up after their dog, or Spring Break Panama City Florida. I never drank so much Orange Juice and immorality. But that’s not why I am here writing when I should be watching the water boil for my pasta – office party chicken ranch pasta salad – its to die for.
I’m here because I am exposing WordPress well liked and popular feature “Freshly Pressed” to be an ingenious sham geared at pulling wool over your eyes. But I being the intrepid person hiding behind the computer and going to expose the dreamworld you believe to be real.
Deconstructing WordPress’ Freshly Pressed
its not easy pretending to be a republican – one has to learn to walk with one’s anus clenched around a medieval tool of torture. Also one has always be on the search for someone else’s personal bias to exploit to one’s own advantage. I had to hone this skill very quickly while having the spiked end of a mace firmly clenched between my once strapping and blemish free buttocks. It took me 12 second to pass out from blood loss and figure out WordPress’s Secret Freshly Pressed Bias.
Hidden Bias: Freshly Press only shows Happy go lucky stories and posting. Meaning they try to make you think that distilled social ineptitude and bitterness isn’t appreciated, or that we want fresh delicious baked good. There is more mind numbing cheer and smiles and happy bull&$%t on the freshly Pressed page than there is in a Kate Moss cocaine binge. Take a look at some of this!
Biggest. Sunflower. Ever.
Vika has a wonderful photo blog. The Images are really touching. I spent such a long time looking through her pictures, i even let go of my malcontent sarcastic misanthropic act. Really beautiful stuff.
Beautiful photo blog makes me wanna get out my house and see the world again. Check it out here
How the Oregon Trail Game is Akin to Life
Cool Blog post. i played the game in elementary school. Lot of nostalgia. Sensical thinking very plain but impactful prose nice reflective tone. Love reading stuff like this. So far no vitriol no anger though
Continue reading about this sensical reflection on life here
New Zealand || Glacier
Stunning imagery. Makes me wish i did have college grad school and medical bills and pets to keep me tied down to where I am stare out the window at all the miscreants and homeless people scurrying around before morning really breaks and the sun rises
Check out more stunning pictures here
People coming together from different religious to celebrate to be together , cookies in the shape of the Star of David what’s not to like. At this point I have become very optimistic about many things in my life.
Click Here to see this blog. -
Apricot-Plum Baked Doughnuts
Aside from the Devil or Al Qaeda who can resist doughnuts of any flavor? If my wife made this for me at home I would give it up even if she made it all wrong. Its much better than coming home to a microwave pop tart after a long day work 2 jobs. Just the kind of festive reminder to cram my cramhole for the holidays with the people I love.
Click here to cream yourself for these doughnuts
CLASSIC POTATO LATKES (AND YOU TOO CAN CLAIM TO MAKE THE WORLD’S BEST LATKES)
Fried foods are kind of fucking awesome. My revitaligo – the disease where I get darker and darker, has made me very partial to fried food and grape soda. I deep fry my hands before I bite my finger nail (I stole that joke HA!!!) Now I can make latke!!! – Click here for some latke loving
Where did all the Realness Go
But where the sarcasm, where is the incessant fear based programming that lets me know that the little I thought I had is gone because incompetant leaders are trying to protect me from former payrolled guerilla fighters now turned terrorist and other shadowy people? I miss hearing how Americans like myself who think different are destroying the red white and blue. We all know that news is an incessant 24 hour meditation on evil fear and ignorance to make us so in fear of the whip we no longer realize that the carrot has been taken away. We also do realize coincidentally that a reward punishment system is sometimes an antedilluvian way to cattle and coral people into doing stuff.
So that why I am upset with WordPress. First they give me happy feel good stories all the time and that’s annoying. It’s like the Disney channel for neutered adults. Wordpress’ Frreshly Press Dare to not inculcate fear, division and a blinkered view of the world. Who do they think they are with there cool single letter logo!
Hot Articles from the NYTIMES today
That’s more like it violence around the world, children naturally being unhappy, power struggles, rampant joblessness, murder!!!! – Yes .
Syria Reported to Kill 100 on Eve of Visit by Observers Successor in North Korea Moves to Consolidate Power
Consequences of not extending the payroll tax break and jobless benefits Apps to Keep Children Happy
So Until WordPress Freshly Presses me – hopefully concentually – I will continue to expose their agenda to misrepresent reality. in the meantime click check out the blog and try to imagine how out of sorts I feel after tasting WordPress’ Freshly Pressed Nonsense. Then chase it down with the stories from the NY TIMES